Treatment And After Effects

My nephew has been diagonsed with Non-Hodgkins Lymph Nodes, aggressive, and is currently getting chemotherapy in a well known hospital in US. He is 25 years old

He is well educated, very healthy, holds an excellent job, is of good family background and character, does not smoke or drink liquor and is a complete vegetarian.

He is engaged to be married this year and is concerned that this treatment could affect his married life in terms of sex, fertility and having healthy children

Should he marry this year or wait for some more time and get married say after a year or two.

The girl he is engaged to be married to, and her family, are very supportive and committed to the wedding plans. They are also willing to wait as long as it is necessary for him to regain his health and vitality if it will help their life together in the future

Can any of you offer advice in this situation?

Hello,

I am also 25 years of age, and have recently been cured from Hodgkins Lymphoma. You are asking question that never entered my mind when I began that long journey down the road of cancer treatments. I endured almost 2 years of chemotherapy before having a stem cell transplant in New York. I was in a very serious relationship when this started and can say that it definitely took its toll on the two of us. She stood by my side and both of our families were very supportive throught the ordeal. Unfortunately, the relationship ended very shortly after I was considered to be in remission. You mentioned your worries about "sex" and fertility. I can tell you from experience that chemotherapy drugs do have a large affect on the sex drive and performance. Honestly it will be the last thing on his mind at times. It is very hard to show affection towards others when your body is fighting a disease. Physically and emotionally these things will be a challenge. Do not let this discourage you. Having knowledge is power and one can make this a positive experience even in the darkness that being sick can bring. Chemotherapy can definitley affect the fertility aspect and can cause sterility. It is a very good idea to go to a sperm bank and collect some good samples for possible future use. I would encourage your son to wait until he has gone through his treatments before making the marriage commitment. Both may be too dificult to deal with and may put added pressure to a new marriage. This will be a challenging time, but It may be the best experience I have ever known. Sounds craxy, but it has brought my friends and family closer than ever possible. I have a deeper relationship with God, family, friends, and the new woman in my life than I ever imagined. I have only been in remission for six months, but it gives you a new perspective on whats really important, and a real compassion for the sick people in this world!

Craig B.
baton rouge, louisiana

Dear Craig B:

Thanks for your reply. I found the points useful.

Your message talks of 'remission' and 'cure' inter changeably. Are they the same? Please clarify.

Since you have been cured does it mean than the cancer would not come back in the future?

I am in India and my nephew is in the US and being far away adds to my anxiety for him

After his six courses of chemotherapy in the US I am told that he is 100% free of the cancer, which is good news. But we keep our fingers crossed for his future.

The girl he is engaged to marry is committed to the relationship - we would only like to wait till he is fully cured.

Thanks for your message. I appreciate your thoughts.

I wish you also all the best in your future life - God (does not matter whether he is Christian or a Hindu God) tests our faith and in times such as this, when family, friends come close together and the support system works, then we feel thankful for everything.

Best Wishes

RAJAN
NEW DELHI
INDIA