Feeling Lost And Alone....

i hate that tomorrow is thanksgiving and i am in a depressed mode. i know that i have things to be thankful for. the seats at our table will be full this year...i can't say the same for next year.

i am just so sad and feel so alone. i have been watching my dear father fade from the strong, happy and loving man that he was just a very few short months ago. i feel like i have lost all hope. that i have given up the fight. i can't cope and can't function. today i have cried all day...for the person who will be missing from my dinner table next year. for the life i have had and loved...for my sweet daddy...whom i feel as though i can't live without.

i know that there are good days and bad. i know that this too shall pass. but i am so sad...none the less.

i wish you all hope on this journey. thanks for "listening". my heavy heart and thoughts are with you all. i know how hard this can be. kris

 

On 11/21/2007 lippygirl wrote:

i hate that tomorrow is thanksgiving and i am in a depressed mode. i know that i have things to be thankful for. the seats at our table will be full this year...i can't say the same for next year.

i am just so sad and feel so alone. i have been watching my dear father fade from the strong, happy and loving man that he was just a very few short months ago. i feel like i have lost all hope. that i have given up the fight. i can't cope and can't function. today i have cried all day...for the person who will be missing from my dinner table next year. for the life i have had and loved...for my sweet daddy...whom i feel as though i can't live without.

i know that there are good days and bad. i know that this too shall pass. but i am so sad...none the less.

i wish you all hope on this journey. thanks for "listening". my heavy heart and thoughts are with you all. i know how hard this can be. kris

 

I can identify with how you are feeling.  I lost my father three weeks ago to stomach cancer, after a brief five month long battle.  His absence this holiday and every other day has changed life forever.  I was once in your shoes, anticipating the loss that I knew was inevitable. 

 What I can share with you is advice that sounds so cliche, but it is the best thing---take one day at a time.  Enjoy the present and what you can share with your father in the here and now.  The future will arrive soon enough.  Please try not to focus on your future loss, but be in the here and now.  Time is precious, small moments that may seem insignificant today will mean the world to you someday.  Ten minutes you spend worring about what the future will bring will be ten minutes that, one day, you'd give anything to get back.

 I am so sorry for all that you and your family are are going through.  This is a truly hideous disease.  You  can never really give up or lose hope, even when the situation is terminal.  What the fight then becomes about is time---quality time,  and the hope is for peace and comfort.   Blessings to you, your father, and the rest of your family, especially at Thanksgiving.

Oh Kris....

There are so many of us that are feeling your same pain.  I too have a sick Mom who will be with me tomorrow, unsure about next year.  The best thing I've ever read was "Don't mourn the living."  This is so true..embrace these times together with joy, save the sadness and despair for another time.  If you live each day with the dark cloud above you there will be no room for lightness which is so sorely needed when cancer hits a family.

My best to you and your family-

Christine

Hello Kris.  I have read your thoughts and understand what you are feeling.  I have been there too.  I do realize we are all different and people all handle their feelings in their own unique way but, here is what I wanted to share with you.

When my mother and I knew our time was coming to an end "together" we kept our minds and emotions "in today".  At times we would have to think ahead but, it was more for the business end of things.  When our hearts would start to think of the future we would remind eachother to remain "in today".  I know it is not much but, it is what we had to do.  It was the only way for us to cope and have each day together the best as it could be, considering the circumstances.

My heart goes out to you and your family and I hope you find "your way to cope".

Sincerely,

Keep Smiling... 

Kris - I can't really add much that hasn't already been said.  The key is to live for today.  Try not to focus on next year's holidays.  Make the best out of what you have in front of you at the present time.  God bless you and your father.

 

On 11/21/2007 lippygirl wrote:

i hate that tomorrow is thanksgiving and i am in a depressed mode. i know that i have things to be thankful for. the seats at our table will be full this year...i can't say the same for next year.

i am just so sad and feel so alone. i have been watching my dear father fade from the strong, happy and loving man that he was just a very few short months ago. i feel like i have lost all hope. that i have given up the fight. i can't cope and can't function. today i have cried all day...for the person who will be missing from my dinner table next year. for the life i have had and loved...for my sweet daddy...whom i feel as though i can't live without.

i know that there are good days and bad. i know that this too shall pass. but i am so sad...none the less.

i wish you all hope on this journey. thanks for "listening". my heavy heart and thoughts are with you all. i know how hard this can be. kris

 

I do truly understand the pain, my daughters lost there father, on Nov, 17, and it was truly, painful for all of us, We saw a wonderful man, taken away,that I feel  had so much more to do on this earth, My heart is so heavy, he was not only my childrens father, but my ex. husband, who I never stop loving. It happen so fast, and it is hard to think about the holidays,I do think God for him not suffering any more, because this is not the man my girls and I knew. You are not alone, and remember, this is God's plan, and he is the higher power.AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

 

On 11/21/2007 Chi-girl wrote:

 

I can identify with how you are feeling.  I lost my father three weeks ago to stomach cancer, after a brief five month long battle.  His absence this holiday and every other day has changed life forever.  I was once in your shoes, anticipating the loss that I knew was inevitable. 

 What I can share with you is advice that sounds so cliche, but it is the best thing---take one day at a time.  Enjoy the present and what you can share with your father in the here and now.  The future will arrive soon enough.  Please try not to focus on your future loss, but be in the here and now.  Time is precious, small moments that may seem insignificant today will mean the world to you someday.  Ten minutes you spend worring about what the future will bring will be ten minutes that, one day, you'd give anything to get back.

 I am so sorry for all that you and your family are are going through.  This is a truly hideous disease.  You  can never really give up or lose hope, even when the situation is terminal.  What the fight then becomes about is time---quality time,  and the hope is for peace and comfort.   Blessings to you, your father, and the rest of your family, especially at Thanksgiving.

chi-girl, sorry it has taken me so long to say thank you for your kind words. being that you have gone this route, you know how much they mean. so thank you! that wednesday i posted this comment i was beyond being helped. i just couldn't get my head around the situation at hand. but, it was only for that day. by the next day, thanksgiving day, i was much better and back in the fight. i am taking it one day at a time...that is all we can do. things have taken a swing for the better. when i posted that message, i didn't think my dad would make it to today. but he has taken a break from chemo and has regained so much strength. monday (12/10) we go back for another ound of chemo. but at a reduced amount. all we can do it keep fighting and stay strong. a million thanks....you words meant so much to me at a time i was feeling the worst. i am so sorry for your loss. i can only imagine all that you have been through and are still going through. i wish you peace, take care, kris

 

christine....i am sorry that you and your family are also on this terrible journey. thank you for responding to my sorrow. your 1 sentence saved me! "don't mourn the living" i took that sentence and turned myself around. sometimes a fresh set of eyes on a situation can make a difference. so i thank you. i wish you hope and will keep you in my prayers. thanks again, kris (as i wrote to a previous response...sorry it took so long to say thanks)

 

On 11/22/2007 Keep Smiling... wrote:

Hello Kris.  I have read your thoughts and understand what you are feeling.  I have been there too.  I do realize we are all different and people all handle their feelings in their own unique way but, here is what I wanted to share with you.

When my mother and I knew our time was coming to an end "together" we kept our minds and emotions "in today".  At times we would have to think ahead but, it was more for the business end of things.  When our hearts would start to think of the future we would remind eachother to remain "in today".  I know it is not much but, it is what we had to do.  It was the only way for us to cope and have each day together the best as it could be, considering the circumstances.

My heart goes out to you and your family and I hope you find "your way to cope".

Sincerely,

Keep Smiling... 

keep smiling, as i have had to write far more often than i would like...i am sorry that this message to you has taken so long to write. and, i am sorry that you too have had to endure this cancer journey. it is a monster...one that needs to be stoppped.

thanks so much for your kindness. it was so appreciated. when i am with my dad...it is all smiles and "in the moment" it is when i leave and head home....just next door, as 2 yrs ago we bought a side by side duplex, that i feel sad.

when we started this journey in july i took a leave of absence from work as soon as the words "it's cancer" came out of the dr's mouth. i work in the hospital (only 5 shifts a month) and i went to my supervisor and told her i needed to take a leave until we got this all figured out. we thought it was just in the stomach at that point and he would have surgery and it would be all gone. how simply were we thinking back then??!!

i take him to all his appt's and spend many hours with him and my mom every day. i am the youngest of 6. but we live 2+ hours away from 3 of my siblings and the other 2 live a plane ride away. nobody has been here to help much since the surgery on august 1st. so i have had to endure much of this alone. my hubby has been great. he is very close to my father and doesn't mind that i spend as much time w/ him as i can. but we have a 4yr old daughter w/ low functioning autism that can't speak, self feed or eat anything that isn't pureed. so time is tight with all her therapy/dr's appt's too. and feeling overwhelmed can happen quickly.

so...by the time thanksgiving rolled around, i was at witts end. but after reading yours and so many others comments....i came back to my old self and have forged ahead with more strength than i had before.

i took the "live in the moment" comment and have applied it whole heartedly. i heard kris carr say it in her cancer documentary "crazy, sexy cancer". but didn't take the words to heart til i read your response. so, once again, thank you. so nice to have people like you and all the others take the time to help someone out that is going through this too. take care, kris

 

On 11/26/2007 Steeda wrote:

Kris - I can't really add much that hasn't already been said.  The key is to live for today.  Try not to focus on next year's holidays.  Make the best out of what you have in front of you at the present time.  God bless you and your father.

mike, you have become the knight in shining armor on this board, at least to me. you have so much good will, knowledge and kindness. i see it in all your responses.

thanks so much for responding to my cry for help. i did turn it around and "lived for today" and had a wonderful thanksgiving. i will worry about next year....next year. and will continue to be by my fathers side and make the best out of each day. we only have today...nobody can know for sure if they will have a tomorrow. so i will keep that close to my heart and enjoy my time with my dad.

i hope that your dad is holding his own. how did the chemo go? i think he was due for another round a week or so ago. i wish him the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. take care, kris