Please Need Help!! It May Only Be Days!

Hello Everyone!

 

    I am new to the board but I need your help! My ex sister in law, who is my bestfriend, was diagnosed with liver cancer in december of 06'. Well we are coming up on december of 07' and she is still here. Unfortuantely not doing very well though!...She has been going  for weekly treatments of chemo since last december and for a long time it kept the cancer from spreading. When she was first diagnosed, the doctors told her that the cancer completely consumed her liver in a months time and that she would only have 3-6 months to live and that was only if she did the chemo. Well like i said, it is just about a year later and she is still here. She was admitted into the hospital on halloween because she was having "stress related seizures" the doctors told her. She came out and they stopped the chemo for a couple of weeks, to give her time to get a little better i guess.....anyway, thanksgiving day she was admitted again, this time she was having difficulty breathing. The doctors finally did a c-scan and they have found that the cancer has spread to her lungs. They can't do anymore testing because her body is sooooooooo swollen! This is a woman who weighed 350-400 lbs before the cancer, in the last year went down to 180lbs,and right now she is laying in the hospital bed and is so swollen she looks like she weighs 700lbs!!!! She is also very dilusional. She keeps talking about her cat and she wants her cat. She doesn't have a cat, has never had one because she is allergic to them! She sleeps constantly, and when she wakes, she doesn't know where she is, or who anyone is around her.  The doctors are giving her mom a run around. She keeps telling them to give it to her straight and tell her how long her daughter has, but all they say is they are putting her on a new pill that will help shrink the tumor, and give her less pain, and then they will go from there.!!!!???? She is also very jaundice. Can anyone tell us if this is it? Is this the ending stage? And if so....how long do we have aproximately?? We are so desperate for answers and the doctors are useless!!!!

 

god bless you all,

regards,

Dawn

what stage did they say the liver cancer was in? my brother-in-law has just been diagnosed with liver cancer and they told him it was in Stage 4. I'm encouraged to hear that your loved one has lived for a year but it sounds like the chemo is doing more harm then the cancer itself.

Thanks for responding so fast.....the doctors said that she is in the final stage of liver cancer. That's what they said as of yesterday. But they aren't telling her how much time she has and what to expect to happen. A doctor came in today and told her she needs a blood transfusion. That's why she is acting delerious. He also said that her body is so swollen because her liver doesn't have enough proteins??? We dont know what any of this means. She was originally going to Sloan Ketterine hospital for treatment, and they were going to directly put the chemo into her liver, but her insurance wouldn't cover it. So the hospital she is at now is just giving her regular chemo treatments. They were working to keep the cancer from spreading, but it wasn't getting any better either. None of this is making any sense to us, and it's very confusing. We just want the truth and if she is going to die, we want to know so we can start planning final arrangements. I understand doctors dont like to break the news, but when we are asking for it, there is no excuse! So I guess what I am asking is....from all your own personal experiences, is this it?? Is she going to die, and probably soon?? And just how soon could it be?? And is there any other last symptoms to look for??

Hi,

 I'm sorry to hear what your sister-in-law is going through and I know how hard it is to see someone like that.  My mother passed away June 2, 2007 of  liver cancer.  She was only diagnosed with it on April 23rd.  She started getting sick mid March, and everything went downhill from there.  She thought she had stomach ulcers, but her stomach was bothering her because her liver was so stretch from the tumor.  

 My mom was put on heavy pain meds (pain management) after she went into the hospital for some more testing to make sure the cancer was not anywhere else in her body.  All along, I thought the cancer was small and it would be curable.  Little did we know though,  We believe my mom knew much more than she told us so we would not worry.  

 They way you are explaining the health of your sister-in-law, I hate to say this to anyone, but you guys should just right now be there with her, tell her how much you love her, even if she isn't in the right state of her mind.  And just prepare yourselves.  Swollen of the body means that the liver is failing.  I wish I knew this before hand when my mom started to retain water in her legs and feet, I only knew after her passing that the swelling was due to her liver failing because the tumor was taken over her liver and it could not do what it had to do to keep her a live.  

 If you need or want to know any more information, please let me know.  I'm only 24 years old, and these past 6 months have been the worst time of my life.  But I hope what I know and have seen with my mom having living cancer can help someone out going through the same thing.  

 

Laura 

 

 

 

 

 

On 11/27/2007 dawnmarie wrote:

Hello Everyone!

 

    I am new to the board but I need your help! My ex sister in law, who is my bestfriend, was diagnosed with liver cancer in december of 06'. Well we are coming up on december of 07' and she is still here. Unfortuantely not doing very well though!...She has been going  for weekly treatments of chemo since last december and for a long time it kept the cancer from spreading. When she was first diagnosed, the doctors told her that the cancer completely consumed her liver in a months time and that she would only have 3-6 months to live and that was only if she did the chemo. Well like i said, it is just about a year later and she is still here. She was admitted into the hospital on halloween because she was having "stress related seizures" the doctors told her. She came out and they stopped the chemo for a couple of weeks, to give her time to get a little better i guess.....anyway, thanksgiving day she was admitted again, this time she was having difficulty breathing. The doctors finally did a c-scan and they have found that the cancer has spread to her lungs. They can't do anymore testing because her body is sooooooooo swollen! This is a woman who weighed 350-400 lbs before the cancer, in the last year went down to 180lbs,and right now she is laying in the hospital bed and is so swollen she looks like she weighs 700lbs!!!! She is also very dilusional. She keeps talking about her cat and she wants her cat. She doesn't have a cat, has never had one because she is allergic to them! She sleeps constantly, and when she wakes, she doesn't know where she is, or who anyone is around her.  The doctors are giving her mom a run around. She keeps telling them to give it to her straight and tell her how long her daughter has, but all they say is they are putting her on a new pill that will help shrink the tumor, and give her less pain, and then they will go from there.!!!!???? She is also very jaundice. Can anyone tell us if this is it? Is this the ending stage? And if so....how long do we have aproximately?? We are so desperate for answers and the doctors are useless!!!!

 

god bless you all,

regards,

Dawn

Hi there it has been 8 months since i have lost my dad to liver cancer and can i tell you it is not getting easier.I am always on the net trying to come up with why and what if  and what else i could have done to help my beautiful dad. today i believe anywhere you go doctors wont tell you the truth or give you a time frame. i dont want to upset you any further but from the sounds of your sister inlaw it doesnt look good and i from experience believe you should spend as much time with her as possible because i think she is nearing her end. i am sorry to tell you this but once the liver starts breaking down thats signs of the end. i wish you all the very best of luck and my prayers are with you. My dad didnt have that long all in all it all happened in a matter of 10 weeks from start of illness till he passed the weird thing is he was so healthy before that,it shocked me completely i thought he had a gall bladder infection when i first took him to the hospital and then we got mucked around after all the tests some said cancer others didnt he deteriorated right in front of me. i couldnt to anything to help him. i offered to pay the doctors top money to make him better but in the end no money nothing they could do for him and they never told us how long. God i miss him so much my life has changed since my dads passing i am so angry and empty. i am sorry this is happening to your sister in law.   take care 

Hi Dawn,

Sorry to hear about your ex sis-n-law. How's she doing now? From what you said, and as much as I hate to say this, she does not have many days remaining. Getting delusional is very bad sign. I would say spend as much time you can with her. Sound motivational and happy, although I know it's tough to. Has she thrown up blood or coffee -colored fluid? Usually, this is a classical terminal sign.

I recently lost my dad to liver cancer (Sept 1). Ironically, I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2001. And being the lone child, the journey wasn't easy. I can relate to what Laura said in terms ofbeing anrgy and helpless.

Will pray for her. I anyway pray for all cancer victims. It's sad that God chooses to take the good people first.

Raj. 

It's been a while since I have been on here. Thankfully my sis in law has lasted even longer. Unfortuantely, she is back in the hospital and in even worse shape then last time. I hope someone can reply fast enough to this one for me......

As I said, she is back in the hospital. Even more dilusional then ever before. As of today, they have her on oxygen, she is urinateing blood, and they know for sure her liver has shuut down. Yesterday she wasn't urinateing at all and she hadn't eaten in about 3 days. We got her to eat a little yesterday but I think only because today is my daughters birthday, and my daughter is very very close to her. Like a second mother to her. And when she realized it was her birthday, she started crying. I told her it was ok. But right after that, we got her to eat some apple sauce and italian ices and got her to drink some ginger ale. Then she urinated after 28 hours of nothing. SHE FILLED 2 BAGS!!! She could barely talk yesterday but we knew by the end of the night, she would still be there in the morning. SHe has will and we knew she didn't want to die on her nieces birthday. Well....today is my daughters birthday, and lastnight, she spiraled down hill.....as I said, she is now on oxygen, not allowed to eat or drink, (she gags on anything they try to give her) , she is urinateing blood and cannot talk at all. She gave hugs and kisses to everyone today, but I have a strong feeling we will get that dreadful call sometime tonight. We already know her liver shut down, and the amonia was backing up into her body. She is bleeding internally, so bad it's coming out of her mouth....and I am assumeing from the blood in her urine, her kidneys are almost shut down??? Is this really the end. Part of me is so selfish and wants the doctors to try something to save her. And I know that's not possible at this point. And the other part of me is hopeing she will pass away. I know how bad that sounds....but I can't take watching her suffer anymore. I know she isn't in pain right now....but she is so miserable. She is all skin and bones, her viens are all bruised and battered....it is just so sad. And I can't stand to watch it anymore!!!! DAMN THIS CANCER!!!!!!! She is so young....only 33....she hasn't even lived her life yet. She never got a chance to find mr. right....never had a chance to get married....never had a chance to have her own children. It is just so sad. Is it mean for me to say that I hope I get that call tonight???  I just hate seeing her like this. It's not even her anymore....she looks nothing like she used to look. she just looks like a vegetable laying there so helpless and lifeless. God bless all of you who are fighting this and all the families who have had to go through this. My heart is with you all! I guess I can be thankful that she has lasted for over a year. It's more than a lot of you can say for yourselves I am sure. Maybe that is just a miracle in itself!

Dawnmarie I am so sorry that you sister in law is failing fast.  This is just the track this awful disease takes, You can only pray for yourself and your family.  It is not the ones who leave it is us who stay that suffer most.

May you find the strength to get through this and just be there for her with love.  MMS

On 1/25/2008 dawnmarie wrote:

It's been a while since I have been on here. Thankfully my sis in law has lasted even longer. Unfortuantely, she is back in the hospital and in even worse shape then last time. I hope someone can reply fast enough to this one for me......

As I said, she is back in the hospital. Even more dilusional then ever before. As of today, they have her on oxygen, she is urinateing blood, and they know for sure her liver has shuut down. Yesterday she wasn't urinateing at all and she hadn't eaten in about 3 days. We got her to eat a little yesterday but I think only because today is my daughters birthday, and my daughter is very very close to her. Like a second mother to her. And when she realized it was her birthday, she started crying. I told her it was ok. But right after that, we got her to eat some apple sauce and italian ices and got her to drink some ginger ale. Then she urinated after 28 hours of nothing. SHE FILLED 2 BAGS!!! She could barely talk yesterday but we knew by the end of the night, she would still be there in the morning. SHe has will and we knew she didn't want to die on her nieces birthday. Well....today is my daughters birthday, and lastnight, she spiraled down hill.....as I said, she is now on oxygen, not allowed to eat or drink, (she gags on anything they try to give her) , she is urinateing blood and cannot talk at all. She gave hugs and kisses to everyone today, but I have a strong feeling we will get that dreadful call sometime tonight. We already know her liver shut down, and the amonia was backing up into her body. She is bleeding internally, so bad it's coming out of her mouth....and I am assumeing from the blood in her urine, her kidneys are almost shut down??? Is this really the end. Part of me is so selfish and wants the doctors to try something to save her. And I know that's not possible at this point. And the other part of me is hopeing she will pass away. I know how bad that sounds....but I can't take watching her suffer anymore. I know she isn't in pain right now....but she is so miserable. She is all skin and bones, her viens are all bruised and battered....it is just so sad. And I can't stand to watch it anymore!!!! DAMN THIS CANCER!!!!!!! She is so young....only 33....she hasn't even lived her life yet. She never got a chance to find mr. right....never had a chance to get married....never had a chance to have her own children. It is just so sad. Is it mean for me to say that I hope I get that call tonight???  I just hate seeing her like this. It's not even her anymore....she looks nothing like she used to look. she just looks like a vegetable laying there so helpless and lifeless. God bless all of you who are fighting this and all the families who have had to go through this. My heart is with you all! I guess I can be thankful that she has lasted for over a year. It's more than a lot of you can say for yourselves I am sure. Maybe that is just a miracle in itself!

 

Hello Dawn~~ Having read through your messages I feel so sad for you and your family.  Please don't worry about 'exactly when' she will die. She needs your love now. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you face the end of this journey together. She will gain strength from your presence, knowing that she is not alone.  Know that you are helping her -- when I was near death a couple of years ago I felt the presence of the people who were with me and it made me secure -- I could face anything, particularly because they were there.  Cath

Thank you all for responding to my posts....unfortunately my sister in law passed away yesterday. Although it hurts so much....I know there is no more pain, and it helps to get through this. She suffered so much. Thankfully, we were all there with her when she passed, so she was well comforted and she was definately not in any pain. My heart and prayers go out to all of you suffering from this disease. It's such a horrible thing to experience for both patient and care givers. My prayers will continue to be with all of you. RIP HEATHER LYNN.... 10/29/74 - 1/28/08