Tom Lost His Battle On 11/21

Hi all,

Tom lost his battle with RCC on the 21st.  He had gotten pneumonia and was in the hospital from 10/9-10/16 then he was in a "Hospice House" until 10/26.  Then he was in a nursing home until the 21st.  He was having quite a rough time for a few days and so on the 21st around 7:30 p.m. they transfered him to the Hospice House and he died about a half hour after that.  I wasn't there with him unfortunately, but his parents were there with him so at least he didn't die alone.  I was having problems with his mom so I stayed away while she visited with him.  His Dad said he went peacefully and I went in to say my "Good Bye's" and he really did look peaceful.  It's been REALLY hard for me to deal with, I'm trying but it just doesn't seem to get any easier.  I know it hasn't even been a week, but I am an absolute mess.  It doesn't seem real to me sometimes.  I guess that's normal though.  That's what I've been told.  I know this msg was supposed to be about him and I'm just going on about me & what I'm going through, so Thank you for letting me babble.  

Hi Cindy611.  Have been away from this site since July, as my lovely hubby lost his battle at that time.  I just read your message and just had to reply.  It is now 4 months and we still feel devastated.  I dont know your past history but i DO know how desperate you must be feeling.  I honestly couldnt imagine a day dawning when i would want to get out of bed, I adored my husband and still cant believe i am never going to see him or hear his lovely voice again. BUT life has to go on, i am keeping myself busy with my family and it is working.  My hubby is with me every minute of the day and im hoping that the bad memories of the last few hours will gradually fade as i am sure they will for you.  Please try to keep busy and know that you are not alone in how you feel, but it will get easier.  i dont really know what to say, i only know that i just had to let you know i was here and going through the same.  be strong......... luv J

Hi Cindy611,

I have been away from the message board since my husband passed away from RCC on Cotober 2nd. He was my soulmate, my best friend. I understand how devastated you are. At first all I could remember was our cancer battle. Now the good memories are flooding back. I journalized our battle and now I have continued the journal during my grief journey. I have found tremendous help from daily emails from griefshare.org and our family and friends are fantastic. I am thankful that others are are benefitting from the new RCC chemo. We only had 10 months after my husband was diagnosed with RCC with mets to the brain and lungs. He was fortunate to not have pain until the last 3 days of his life. I wish you the best in your grief journey.