Recently Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

Hi

My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is having a partial masectomy and removal of lymp glands.

We have been together for approx 6 months and we lost each other very much. Yet since her diagnosis, she feels so guilty that she is going to hold me back from having a fulfilling life. She wants me to leave her and go and meet new people and find someone i deserve. Problem is i love her and i want to fight this with her, and see her through it, so that after she recovers we can be together for the rest of our lives.

She thinks that staying in our relationship while she goes through this difficult time, will make it harder for her...Shes been in remission for 15 years since she had Ovarian cancer @ 21. We are both still very young and she wants me to find someone else to love.

Is this a typical response from a recently diagnosed cancer sufferer? If it were me id want my partner to support me and go through it with me.

Has anyone felt this brush off attempt from their spouse or partner? I know she really loves me and doesnt want me to go, but she knows how hard its going to be.

If there is anyone who has suffered cancer and understands why my partner feels it will be too difficult to stay in a supportive relationship?

What advice do you have for me and how i should handle these brush off attempts, because i dont want to lose her and i love her very much and i want to stick with her all the way...

 

 

 

On 11/30/2007 BadBadLeroyBrown wrote:

Hi

My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is having a partial masectomy and removal of lymp glands.

We have been together for approx 6 months and we lost each other very much. Yet since her diagnosis, she feels so guilty that she is going to hold me back from having a fulfilling life. She wants me to leave her and go and meet new people and find someone i deserve. Problem is i love her and i want to fight this with her, and see her through it, so that after she recovers we can be together for the rest of our lives.

She thinks that staying in our relationship while she goes through this difficult time, will make it harder for her...Shes been in remission for 15 years since she had Ovarian cancer @ 21. We are both still very young and she wants me to find someone else to love.

Is this a typical response from a recently diagnosed cancer sufferer? If it were me id want my partner to support me and go through it with me.

Has anyone felt this brush off attempt from their spouse or partner? I know she really loves me and doesnt want me to go, but she knows how hard its going to be.

If there is anyone who has suffered cancer and understands why my partner feels it will be too difficult to stay in a supportive relationship?

What advice do you have for me and how i should handle these brush off attempts, because i dont want to lose her and i love her very much and i want to stick with her all the way...

 

 

wow i did not have this happen to me i have breast cancer but i think you are right to be there for her i think this will pass when she has made it thru the fog of drs and chemo. it is so overwhelming and she probably doesnt wANt to feel like she has to take care of your needs and attention while trying to survive treatment. i hope you can be there for her my husband was always there and i will never fotget it. jay

 

She probably means this because she loves you.  However, she never needed you more than now.  I really believe in the power of love getting us thru hard times and pulling us closer.  This has happened repeatedly thru my life with my husband.  We've been together twenty five years.  He was recently diagnosed with cancer and will undergo treatments soon.  He has made it clear how much he needs me....and I him!  There can be joy in little moments, even in hard times.  Seek them, explore them and look to the future, only.  Good luck.

You are awesome .  Stick with your girlfriend and fight!!