Sorry for your loss. We are dealing with my father-in-law and he is in the last stages. Sounds very similar. He was originally diagnosed in '98. Treatment commenced around 2001 with procrit shots, eventually leading to periodic transfusions and prednisone to manage the joint pain. There has been marked mental confusion/personality changes in the last two years--probably combination of side effects of medication and/or reduced flow of oxygen from the low RBC. His RBC's have been @10-11 the last couple of years with the help of the Procrit. But this past December, his count was 7, and only bumped up to about 8 after Procrit/and units of blood. Therefore, hospice care was initiated. He increasingly has become immobile, losing weight, sleeping all the time....we are just trying to make him as comfortable as possible.
Just sharing this story so some can see some hope...he was diagnosed at about age 63 and has been able to live and function for over 10 years....only the last 2-3 have been increasingly more difficult. It looks like there are a lot more treatment possibilities opening up......