Uk/Usa/Canada

As this appears to be an International Board, we find it very difficult to offer advice or to take the advice of others when it seems that there are so many different ways of dealing with MM

My husband has suggested to his Consultant that he try some of the recommendations made on this Board and he has dismissed each one without entering into discussion.

The problem is that we have no viable alternative.  We can't take our 'business' anywhere else;  we can ask for a second opinion but it seems that there is an Old Boys Network which means that solidarity in the medical profession prevents any ground-breaking and the tried and tested methods are the only ones on offer.

Frustration caused this post (as well as lack of sleep, loneliness and financial worries).  I speak from the UK of course

Good Morning and Welcome;

You can add to the "good ol' boys" a very large dose of EGO. I'm not certain if these Drs. are born with it, taught it in med school or acquire it on the job. But most are of the opinion that we "serfs" would do better if we just shut up and do as we're told. After all they're the ones that are educated. Want to really get frustrated and test their stress level? Read up on diet and nutrition and then question them if eating habits can affect cancer and its treatment. Pat close attention to the "deer in the headlights" look in their eyes. They only know how to prescribe pills. But we need them for just that reason!

Visit this site often and learn! It's a wonderful exchange of people who are experiencing exactly what you are. Keep in mind that MM is relatively a newcomer and these Drs. don't like to admit that they just don't know. It's our job to teach them. Read as much as you can about this horrific desease. Education is what is going to save us.

My advice would be if you're not pleased with your present Dr. then go to another one. It's your money paying those bills! They work for us! It's not a gratis relationship, they are amply compensated.

Again, welcome to this wonderful site and learn as much as your mind will allow. We will over come this desease! We just need to learn more!

God help us all;

Kevin

Having been witness to that kind of god-like behaviour from the doctor who treated my father, and not having the option of switching doctors available to us, the only suggestion I can offer is to do your research online, and bring copies of what you discover with you to your doctor - especially if you can download the information from official research sites.  Do your research from your local library and you will discover even more information is available through their subscriptions.  It generally helps to try to get more than one reference, too.  It might also help if you can find a way to communicate to your doctor that you are representing the patient and that you are only trying to ensure they explore every avenue possible, which they too, would do for a loved one.  I think that in order to deal with cancers, some doctors have to turn their patients into objects, to reduce the emotional toll it would take.  You have to turn the patient back into a human and force the doctor to see the whole picture.  

Do not let doctors intimidate you.  I know my father died sooner and more painfully, because of their arrogance.  Every doctor My Dad saw refused to consider that he had multiple myeloma, although he knew it himself from researching his symptoms on the internet.  I suppose it was because he felt that he was not getting through to them that he asked me to attend his appointments and to act on his behalf.  Unfortunately, I wanted to believe the doctors and hoped that it was not serious, but he was really sick by that time.  He was not diagnosed until 2 weeks before he died and then if you can believe it, the hematologist was angry that my Dad wanted to start chemo because in his infinite doctor wisdom, he had determined that it was too late to intervene.

Don't ask, tell.  If you are armed with the information, tell them you want to investigate it and to put you in touch with whomever provides that therapy.  Sometimes our approach allows us to be run over.

I have found few doctors here in Canada who are not under the spell of the drug companies, but they do exist and are willing to listen if you can find one and are able to switch.  I am fortunate to have one and he has changed my life through diet.  (See the celiac-multiple myeloma connection thread in this forum)  He has also told me to do research online, but to be careful about your sources. 

I wish you the best.  I know you have enough of a battle to deal with already, without having to battle the medical system and my sympathies really are with you.

Thank you Pirate and KC.  We needed a bit of support and strength from somewhere and your replies have certainly given that to us.  Our wonderful National Health Service gives us almost no control over our health and the option to choose another Consultant is not there.  Nevertheless, I have every intention of confronting him (politely) and reminding him that we paid for his training and are now paying his wages and expect to be treated in a civil and intelligent manner.

He will not dismiss our questions or suggestions ever again by telling us that we "don't need to know" which is what he has said in the past.  I now realise that this is probably because he doesn't know the answers.

On 12/4/2007 Lucymac wrote:

Thank you Pirate and KC.  We needed a bit of support and strength from somewhere and your replies have certainly given that to us.  Our wonderful National Health Service gives us almost no control over our health and the option to choose another Consultant is not there.  Nevertheless, I have every intention of confronting him (politely) and reminding him that we paid for his training and are now paying his wages and expect to be treated in a civil and intelligent manner.

He will not dismiss our questions or suggestions ever again by telling us that we "don't need to know" which is what he has said in the past.  I now realise that this is probably because he doesn't know the answers.

hi! my name is buang. I  am also a cancer survivor.  My lung cancer has been in remission for over 12 years. In the past my original health provider for over 27 years and I had confrontation over my untorelable pain in my muscle and nerves. I have been complaining about it for quite sometime and before confrontation happened I was presribed vicodin to just ease the pain. meds. doesn't really take away the pain but minimize it to be able to move around. I also developed anxiety that often send me to er as if I was having heart attack. I also having nerve pain that often make me throw up to this day.  He wanted to whin me off of all meds reasoning FDA will be after him. He suggested seeing shrink. That irritates the living hell out of me because I'm not depressed. I'm in pain. I do not think of my cancer. I told him that he cannot take me from the drugs that works for me. His respond is the most irritating than most. Telling me he is the doctor and I just the patient. I responded to him and told him I'm the patient with the pain and his the doctor who gets paid by my insurance. I then told him to send my files to pain management because I'm had it. I have to deal with the everyday pain and deal with him too. At the end of conversation his remarks was so sickening by him saying I should of had been dead already so I should not complain too much. His no longer my healthcare provider. I changed even when he said I do not need to go to another doctor. Too late for that. My trust on him washed out. Insurance makes the huge difference. When you have good insurance you can change doctors just as fast as you change underwear. Sorry this is to long of story. But my point is if you're not in medicaid or hmo you do not hav to be stock with the can careless doctor and most likely the arrogants.

hope this gives a little pointer to already desperate patient to survive and have to deal with some other things. They get paid good for their service.   by the way my pains are being manage and I'm very thankful I survived and functioning.

Good Morning;

You are most welcome and I regret that I don't have more encouraging words for you. But rest assured we have all encountered this "medical arrogance" at some time. Apparently the Drs. feel that the Hippocratic Oath is only something they must say in order to receive their license!

Frankly, I've been rather fortunate, my Drs. are very approachable and at least allow me the courtesy to be active in my treatment plan. But then, I wouldn't have it any other way. This is my life!

Pirate Gen nailed it. Present them with written findings from other successful hospitals. But keep in mind, these people tend to confuse easily when presented with facts. And they always get their dander up when we peons offer an alternative approach to their "tried and true" method of treatment.

On a side note, I've spoken to people from Canada regarding their national health plan and quite frankly I'm not too impressed. It appears, just as with yours, that there are some pitfalls that need to be overcome before we have one here. Unfortunately, our politicians, who don't suffer from co pays, deductables, etc. are looking into trying to start one.

Take care and good luck;

Kevin