But whether that's good or bad isn't yet clear
by Heute_Zaehlt on Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:00 AM
On Dec 5th 2007 I went in for a LEEP procedure to address a CN3 abnormality caused by HPV. I have lived with HPV and all of its subsequent coloscopies, and biopsies for about 8 years now. This is also not my first dance with cancer. Four years ago, at the age 24, I was diagnosed with Melanoma of the skin and was rushed through surgery. In both cases, this recent precancerous condition, and the development of my melanoma tumor, the conditions were caught ‘just in the nick of time.’
In comparison to the fear and uncertainty I experienced with the melanoma, the idea of having a LEEP before cancer developed seemed like commons sense. Aside from breaking out into a bit of an anxious sweat when I received the news of the CN3, there was no profound emotional impact. Last week I scheduled a few days off work and went in for the LEEP. Based on my doctors input, even the few days off were supposed to be unnecessary. This I discovered was not true in my case. I had no preparation for the flood of experience that would come in the days after the procedure.
First, let me preface that I have a very sensitive system and am very connected to my body. That body awareness has been a conscious cultivation through nutrition, training in martial arts, and dance for a number of years. Furthermore, I had endured sexual, physical, and emotional abuse in my past. Much of that trauma has been locked up in my reproductive system most of my life.
On the second day after to procedure strange feelings began to overtake me. I felt like a wounded animal, like a dog that was sick or had been hit by a car. Unfortunately, my best coping mechanisms for suffering and stress are physical training and thus off limits to me while healing. Due to the timing during the week, I had limited access to emotional support and company as well. Not only did I feel utterly alone with my experience, I was. In the subsequent days my awareness was assailed by abuse trauma. I felt out of balance. While I have my mind, and emotionally I am not distraught, my physiological experience has been that of crisis. General anxiety, panic attacks and night, mild depression, strange cravings for physical pain (--left unanswered), lots of tears, and irrational feelings of hopelessness. I have been in a state of suffering.
In response, I took the time to clarify where I felt my issues were coming from. Then I pursued non-western techniques for releasing this trauma from my body and nourishing the healing process at every level. I have lined myself up with massage, cranial sacral therapy, and reproductive acupuncture. Furthermore, I have devoted myself to quality food through macrobiotics to support healing, supplemented with vitamins and lots of water. I have spent a good amount of time doing my best to meditate, rest, and working on breathing. –breathing is huge. In addition, I have become selective about who I spend time with in respect of my stress load and reduced my demands as much as possible at work. The net result of these efforts has been a steady reduction in suffering and discomfort, and an increase in functional stability.
No doctor prepared me for even the notion of this kind of thing. If I had not Googled LEEP “emotional side effects” I would have continued to feel a little crazy for having my experience, but I find I am not alone. So there are a few things that I would entreat you to take with you if you resonate with what I am sharing:
I wish my sisters all the best!
by herenow on Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:00 AM
by Frazier418 on Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:00 AM
I had my LEEP July 2nd, 2007, back in November 2006 I was diagnosed with atypical cervical cells, my obgyn and I decided the best option is to wait three months and hopefully my immune system will fight it off.
Due to insurance issues I was unable to go back for six months. Went and had a pap with a new obgyn and he calls me a week later explaining i had CIN3, and it was BAD.
I was sent to a oB Oncologist the very next morning. I was scheduled for my leep two days later. This ALL came so fast.
There is such a stigma with Cervical Cancer and Dysplasia. My oncologist explained to me, very rudely that I was now dealing with the "consequences" of my actions. THANKS!
You are right, no one prepares you for the emotional turmoil. And no one understands it unless it's someone that has been through it. I felt so alone even though I was with people who loved me. Most of all i was angry, with myself
I found the best way to get through this for me was to forgive myself. I hadnt a clue when I decided to have sex it would lead to HPV, I didnt even know what the heck it was until my pap came back "abnormal"
It has taken a lot of therapy. I have come to terms that I will have to have a pap every three months until six come back normal. I will always live with the fear of having to deal with another LEEP, and colpo. and biopsies again I'm sure.
From here on out I am comitted to awareness. I will make sure people know about HPV.
by SydsMom on Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:00 AM
It's appalling that a doctor would give you a hard time about your sex life and your choices. The last thing you need is a lecture about "being a bad girl." You can get HPV from your partner who might have contracted it from someone else. Having HPV doesn't necessarily mean that you were promiscuous and it's not a doctor's job to judge you.
I'm 54 years old and I was monogamous for over 30 years, yet I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in January 2007. I had very few partners prior to that. I have come to find out that my now ex-husband had numerous affairs while married to me and I had no knowledge of that until after we divorced. No one is going to tell me that it was MY actions that caused me to get cancer.
I'm sorry your doctor was such a jerk. Just concentrate on your health. Good luck.
by herenow on Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:00 AM
On 12/13/2007 Frazier418 wrote:I had my LEEP July 2nd, 2007, back in November 2006 I was diagnosed with atypical cervical cells, my obgyn and I decided the best option is to wait three months and hopefully my immune system will fight it off. Due to insurance issues I was unable to go back for six months. Went and had a pap with a new obgyn and he calls me a week later explaining i had CIN3, and it was BAD.I was sent to a oB Oncologist the very next morning. I was scheduled for my leep two days later. This ALL came so fast.There is such a stigma with Cervical Cancer and Dysplasia. My oncologist explained to me, very rudely that I was now dealing with the "consequences" of my actions. THANKS! You are right, no one prepares you for the emotional turmoil. And no one understands it unless it's someone that has been through it. I felt so alone even though I was with people who loved me. Most of all i was angry, with myselfI found the best way to get through this for me was to forgive myself. I hadnt a clue when I decided to have sex it would lead to HPV, I didnt even know what the heck it was until my pap came back "abnormal"It has taken a lot of therapy. I have come to terms that I will have to have a pap every three months until six come back normal. I will always live with the fear of having to deal with another LEEP, and colpo. and biopsies again I'm sure. From here on out I am comitted to awareness. I will make sure people know about HPV.
I'm horrified anyone would blame you for getting infected with the HPV virus. That's as bad as blaming women for getting raped. Most of the women I personally know who got infected with HPV had only one or two partners. Tragically, about 1/3 of women who get HPV were practicing safe sex and using condoms. That's how I got infected. As I had always been told using condoms prevented HPV, I was angry when I learned the truth.
Please don't blame yourself for your infection with that dangerous virus. And anyone who would blame your "actions" for giving you HPV is not worthy of your time.
by blondraider on Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:00 AM
I just wanted to add my little story, knowledge is so much power and these forums have helped me while going through the whole process until final diagnosis of "Invasive Cervical Cancer 1A2" I actually never got to the leep! I had my abnormal pap come back in Aug and was sent to an oncologist/GYN who performed a colposcopy. I was told if this came back abnormal I would then have a leep. My colp results came back 1 week later as "adenocarcinoma in situ" and they then sent me to another doctor ( I am so very great full to have this doctor on my side) Anyone diagnosed with cervical cancer in Las Vegas please contact me so I can put you in touch with this wonderful doctor!! Anyway I got an appointment with him one week after my colp results thinking it was for a leep but to my surprise the doctor had me scheduled for surgery the very next day for a cold cone biopsy and some other test too. I got the results form my cold cone on 11/28/07 and I have cervical cancer and am now scheduled for a radical hysterectomy with lymph node removal and the ovaries are going too. I am scared. I actually think we all know our bodies and like for me I didn't have a leep but I was a little crampy after the colp and I bleed a few days and was a wreck when I found out I had to have an endometrial biopsy. I had no problems or issues with that at all. I bleed for about 3 weeks after the cold cone had cramping and soreness for a few days. I think some times the doctors just think we can get up and everything is fine but healing is different for each and every one of us. Know one needs to feel bad about how long it takes them to recover. Good luck everyone:)
by herenow on Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:00 AM
by mirandaella on Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:37 AM
I've had HPV since I was 20 and I turn 23 this year. My OBgyn gave me an extra year to fight this off myself but it didn't quite work. Since cancer is on both sides of my family, they don't want it to progress further.
I am scheduled to have my LEEP procedure on Februrary 7th. Originally I was going to have a freezing treatment done but my last biopsy results came back that I was close to developing cancer in my cervix but that part connected to the vainga looked okay if only a little irritated. They scheduled my surgery fairly quickly and it's only slightly sinking in that I'm going to be doing this next week.
It is also coming on top of a bunch of other distressing news. It is very emotionally taxing. I have been looking around on the internet to see how long it might take me to recover but it seems almost as if no one had a similar healing issues that I have.
My colosopys weren't as bad as I thought they would be. My second one went okay until a few hours later. My suggestion if you go back for anymore is to have it done after your period because when you get it right before it, the cramping is so bad and my personal experience has left me with the cramping for a year up to date.
I'm fairly scared that it could take me a very long time to recover from this and I have doctor appointments that I cannot afford to miss. Has anyone who has already gone though this surgery have a poor immune system or takes forever to heal cuts and/or get over colds?
by garzange on Mon Jan 05, 2015 10:14 PM
Hi ladies!!! I keep reading how it appears all of you all were diagnosed with HPV, I however was not diagnosed with it, I had my LEEP completed 2 weeks ago and he told my mother that at minimal a partial, I go over my symptoms with him, and he tells me it is not normal but normal for some of the diagnosis, but when I searched dysplasia, I did not share those symptoms as I share with actual cervical cancer.. He did tell my mom that he had to remove more than anticipated.. am I reading to far into this???
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