Mum, 53 - Stage Iv Stomach Cancer

Hi, my mum was diagnose with stage iv stomach cancer this mth. She did her regular checkup yearly & the most recent was in april but doc found nothing. Due to her constant pain she went for CT scan. Doc found the tumor btw her stomach & pancears. It has spread to the lymp node at her neck, above her kidney & stomach linig. She was hospitalized for a mth & doc said she has only a few mths left. Chemo will help but only a 30% chance that it will shrink the tumor. With the chances so slim, my mum has rejected chemo.

Because the tumor has taken most of her stomach space, she only able to consume liquid food & manage to drink only 50ml milk/glucose/honey, at a time (total: 1 cup/day) & 2 tablespoon (flat) of liquid porridge.It is because of this reason, doc have warn against chemo as her body is not strong enough to recover from it.

To make matter worst, she has been vomiting blood as acids in her stomach is also digesting the tumor. She's becoming weaker & weaker by the day. I fear her time is nearing faster if she doesnt eat & drink more to recover her strength.

She has accepted her fate in gd faith, she isnt scared to die but she scared of pain. Anyone out there experiencing similar situation? 

Hi. Although our mom's cancers are different( my mom stage 4 cervical cancer) I feel my mom also has accepted this and also said she is not afraid to die  just of pain. Just keep her as comfortable as possible. My mom just told me this morning the docs are talking about more rad & chemo, she is not done with her first round yet. She doesnt want anymore. She feels ok with the treatments but doesnt know. I asked her why she feels that way. She said because its not like its going to be cured. I told her that although stage 4 may not be able to be cured it can go in remission. There is hope. Her only problem is that I dont think she has it. I pray my positive attitude will help to believe alittle more. I asked her if she is going to the car wash this morning. I call chemo a car wash- its bubbles are washing away the dirt. I told her to meditate - I think of her tumors and I ask them to melt like a m&m under the sun. Although this sounds like I'm crazy- thats how much I believe that positive thinking can really help a person and family going though this. I wish you and you're mom luck. And I hope you can enjoy your Christmas! Danielle

 

On 12/18/2007 spl317 wrote:

Hi, my mum was diagnose with stage iv stomach cancer this mth. She did her regular checkup yearly & the most recent was in april but doc found nothing. Due to her constant pain she went for CT scan. Doc found the tumor btw her stomach & pancears. It has spread to the lymp node at her neck, above her kidney & stomach linig. She was hospitalized for a mth & doc said she has only a few mths left. Chemo will help but only a 30% chance that it will shrink the tumor. With the chances so slim, my mum has rejected chemo.

Because the tumor has taken most of her stomach space, she only able to consume liquid food & manage to drink only 50ml milk/glucose/honey, at a time (total: 1 cup/day) & 2 tablespoon (flat) of liquid porridge.It is because of this reason, doc have warn against chemo as her body is not strong enough to recover from it.

To make matter worst, she has been vomiting blood as acids in her stomach is also digesting the tumor. She's becoming weaker & weaker by the day. I fear her time is nearing faster if she doesnt eat & drink more to recover her strength.

She has accepted her fate in gd faith, she isnt scared to die but she scared of pain. Anyone out there experiencing similar situation? 

Wow...  Yes, I guess I can speak of a similar situation.  My mom was 53 and was also diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer last June.  She too was told that chemo might prolong her life slightly but, it would be very tough due to the fact my mom (like yours) was unable to eat or hardly drink and was very weak already.

My mom did have a "j-tube" placed into her intestine and was fed through it for about 2 months before the her body ultimately rejected it.  It also served as a way to get some of her medications into her more easily as she could not take them orally towards the end.

As for pain, my mother's was managed by a pain patch that was changed every 3 days (the name escapes me) and Dilaudid (liquid form) for breakthrough pain.  She did find that the more meds she took the more tired she was.  She too had to battle with nausea/vomitting and that was more difficult for her to have controlled. 

My mother had battled a different cancer 10 years earlier and beat it but, knew this time was different.  She opted for no treatment this time in hopes of a little quality time.  We unfortunately did not get much time.

I hope for you, a different scenario.  I hope that whatever your mother decides, your time together is peaceful.

My mom was a very strong woman and it sounds like your mom is much the same.  My thoughts and prayers are with your mom and you both.

Please take care.    

 

I am very sorry to hear of your Mom and your situation. My mother is currently trying to battle stage 4 stomach cancer with chemo treatments.  Mom is not currently in any pain and I am hoping that she stays that way.

 

Again, I am sorry to hear of your mom.  Hang in there these people on here are very nice.

 

Terry

wow wow... doc have also suggested my mum do a opt to insert a tube from her intestine for feeding & medication. Did it work for ur mum for that 2 mths? Did she felt better after having the tube? My mum is indecisive about it cause she doesnt want an alternative that prolong her life which means prolonging her pain too.

If u dont mind me asking, how long did your mum had? How are you handling it?

 

On 1/1/2008 spl317 wrote:

wow wow... doc have also suggested my mum do a opt to insert a tube from her intestine for feeding & medication. Did it work for ur mum for that 2 mths? Did she felt better after having the tube? My mum is indecisive about it cause she doesnt want an alternative that prolong her life which means prolonging her pain too.

If u dont mind me asking, how long did your mum had? How are you handling it?

Hi.  I think you are referring to my mom's experience with her "j-tube".

Well, on June 20th/2007 my mother was to have her stomach removed but, during the beginning part of the surgery the surgeon decided to not continue, as it was more obvious to her then that the cancer was just too far advanced.  She instead inserted a feeding tube in my mother's intestine and gave us a bleak outlook of 3 to 6 months.  I am making the surgeon sound very cold but, she wasn't at all.  She was so sad she could not do more for us.

The "j-tube" was an adjustment, I will say.  It is hard to get used to living off something other than oral food and drink.  It doesn't feel natural but, it is all we had as my mom could not eat at all and fluids were even very difficult to try and swallow.  It did help to give her some strength as I am sure her time with us would have ended much sooner had she had no nutrients.  It also helped at the end to give some of her medications through it.

Ultimately her body rejected it within 2 months of having it inserted.  It no longer worked for her and at that time she could have chose to have nutrients given through IV form.  My mother chose not to, which meant no fluids or food, just pain management.  It was not easy for me to watch but, my mom was more prepared than I.  She was so strong and had come to terms with her impending death.  She passed away on August 21st/2007.  Less than a week after her 54th birthday.

I am not sure of your mother's case?  Your mother may be on a different path.  I know there are some people who need the "j-tube" to get extra nutrients so their bodies strengthen and are able to undergo more treatment options.  In that case, it definitely makes sense.

You asked "How am I handling it?"  During those months when I needed to be there to help my mom I found this strange strength that kept me going.  My friends and family say it is a gift that my mom too had but, I suspect most people come across it in terrible circumstances.  It has taken a while to learn how to relax again and I find that when I relax most is when I have the chance to come to terms with my incredible loss.  Something huge is missing from my life.  My mom assured me plenty of times that she would always be with me so, I know she is but, its different.  I think it is going to be a long process but, I will make the best of it.  I want to do more with my own life now and experience all that is wonderful.  

I hope I have helped to inform you even a little and I am here if you have any more questions.  Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and family.