Missing my Mom

It will 9 yrs this year that I lost my mom. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. My mom and I had our differences but I still love her. We just had different ideas. I sometimes wish I could of spoke to her more before she went so I could tell her how much she meant to me. I did, but she was not coherent. I had a lot of dreams of us fighting after she died. But I rarely dream of her now. I was her care giver until she went to pallitive. She was only 49. Does any one else wondering if your mom still loves you, that when you see her again she will be there for you? I wish I knew.

Dear Goldy: My mother died at age 41--40 years ago. I remember how much I loved her, and still miss her and cry for her. You really can't change anything in your relationship with her because she is gone. I believe that God loves us all so much that this life is not all there is--in fact we are only here--all of us for a short time. But the love in our hearts lives forever, and someday we will be reunited and be with God and our loved ones forever. I'm reading the book: The Purpose Driven Life. It might be helpful to you too. Write to me anytime. Be of good cheer. Reflect on the good times with your Mom.

Dear Goldy: My mom passed on April 13, 2001. We had our good times and our bad ones. I had her for over 56 years. She was almost 94 years old. I still miss her sometimes so much. I reach for the phone to call her for dinner then remember she is gone. Something that helped me a lot was a story I read about a son and his mother. It was kind of extreme but my mom suffered from dementia, alzheimer's type for about five years before she passed on and there were so many things I wanted to tell her and couldn't. I was her primary care giver, too, for the last couple years. This son had actually killed his mother, or been involved in her murder. He repented and asked God to forgive him then accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. When he went to Heaven his mom met him with open arms and forgave him, too. This was a story from a woman who actually died and went to Heaven and saw their reunion. The mother was so excited to see her son and he was so grateful that she forgave him that their tale ministered to me so much. If that mother loved her son that much I know my mom will be waiting for me with open arms and a great big hug. Thank God she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior before she passed. I look forward to the day when I will be there with her. I was diagnosed in February with breast cancer metastasized to my bones and marrow. I don't know how much longer before I will be with her but we never know that anyway, do we? I hope this helps you as much as it did me when I read about that son and his mother. God bless you and try to remember the good times not the bad ones. Ask for forgiveness if you need to for anything and remember how much you love your own children. I love my children so much I would forgive them anything, too. In Jesus love, Louise M.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the strengh will be there for what happens. I pray for your health. Thank you for yourkind words. Very beautiful. Goldy

I can use all the prayers I can get. God is so good to us. Last night I listened to a testimony from a lady that was healed from MS and lesions on her brain. She said the hardest part was between the diagnosis and the proof of healing. Boy, does that seem true. I have the tumor markers checked tomorrow to see where they are since March. She said it always seems worse first before the healing manifests so whatever the tumor markers say I know I am healed by Jesus' stripes, and I'm standing on that! God always has a "word" for us in just the right timing. He is a good God! Louise

Hello all, This is the first time I’ve been on a forum with this topic. I lost my mother to melanoma cancer 8 yrs ago, April 21st. And I’m finding it hard the older I’m getting to deal with this. I was 19 at the time, when I think about when it all happened its like a blur, I didn’t get to say anything to her, we all knew what was happening but its like it just didn’t register, and I wish it had so I could have spent every minute with her, but I didn’t. I didn’t tell her I love her. I miss her more and more every day, more so as my son gets older, who she never got to meet. I fantasize about what it would be like if she was here today. I have my good days and my bad. I know its hard for everybody, I was wondering if anyone has any advice or ideas as how to deal with this? I’m from Australia and on mother’s day a lot of councils organize a tree planting day for children without mothers, in memory of their mother. I missed it this yr unfortunately but its something I look forward to next yr. My mother and I had a pretty good relationship, but I always wonder what it would be like now as I’m a young adult. If anyone has any advice, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for listening.

Hello,

 I woke up tonight and cant sleep.....I was reading all of this messages, and I jsut waned to tell you that i do miss my mom so very much. She died in 2005 she was my best friend, Mom's love there children no matter what we say one old saying where am from " you can go to the stores and get anything you wont but you cant buy MOM or Daddy" and it has big meaning I dont have any they both died from cancer , My father died from pancreas Cancer my mom had in her brain, I miss her so very much , I loved very much I am a mom and soon I will become a mom to second child and I love my children no matter what. So sweetie all you ahve to do is pray for your mom and you have her in ur dreams, she watches you wherver you are. I belive in God very much.

Well I guess am gone close this letter with saying, Love your parents and respect them before they get sick and take care of them thats my advise for new generation,

On Apr 25, 2005 12:00 AM Goldy wrote:

It will 9 yrs this year that I lost my mom. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. My mom and I had our differences but I still love her. We just had different ideas. I sometimes wish I could of spoke to her more before she went so I could tell her how much she meant to me. I did, but she was not coherent. I had a lot of dreams of us fighting after she died. But I rarely dream of her now. I was her care giver until she went to pallitive. She was only 49. Does any one else wondering if your mom still loves you, that when you see her again she will be there for you? I wish I knew.

Goldy,

I see that your post was April 24, 2005. Perhaps you will not receive this message and/or it will come 5 years too late. However, I lost my mom April 28, 2009 to pancreatic and breast cancer. She was 56 years and 26 days old.  She was diagnosed on December 3, 2007 with pancreatic cancer. She almost beat it. Then, on March 16, 2009, she was diagnosed with independent breast cancer. She had a masectomy and lymph nodes removed. She was due to return for chemo and radiation on April 26, 2009.  She died 2 days after she was supposed to return to treatment. So here I am.

There is not one day that goes by that I do not think of my mom. It always feels like yesterday, yet also so long ago. I will say that it has been the longest year of my life. I talked to my mom every single day multiple times. I saw her at least once each day. So, I feel ya on the absence, loss, emptyness.

I also know that your mom knows how much she meant to you, regardless of how "coherent" she was when she died. She knows. I promise you.

I do my damndest not to remember my mom at her death because she also was not "coherent". She was not "her" any more. She was a shell. I think they all are at that point. I believe that their spirits leave long before the last breaths are taken. I do not know your mom's circumstances, but yet strangely, I do.

I too have had dreams, but always of getting to hang out with my mom, not of fighting. However, I remember fighting with my mom to the point that for roughly one month (while she had this cancer) we didn't speak due to a fight. I also know that neither her nor I were perfect, and neither of us expected the other to be. So don't hang onto the rough times. We all have them. Cherish the good ones.

I wish I could dream of her each and every night because then I could see her. I too was a caregiver. They appreciate that as much as we appreciated the time, although painful.

I am sick that your mom was only 49. I felt robbed because mine was barely 56 and I was 29 when she died.

Your mom still loves you. Your mom will always love you. You will always love your mom. She WILL be there for you. She IS there for you now. You just can't see her.

I can't tell you how I know this. I just do.

God bless,

Brooke

On Jun 07, 2010 5:09 AM brookester wrote:

On Apr 25, 2005 12:00 AM Goldy wrote:

It will 9 yrs this year that I lost my mom. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. My mom and I had our differences but I still love her. We just had different ideas. I sometimes wish I could of spoke to her more before she went so I could tell her how much she meant to me. I did, but she was not coherent. I had a lot of dreams of us fighting after she died. But I rarely dream of her now. I was her care giver until she went to pallitive. She was only 49. Does any one else wondering if your mom still loves you, that when you see her again she will be there for you? I wish I knew.

Goldy,

I see that your post was April 24, 2005. Perhaps you will not receive this message and/or it will come 5 years too late. However, I lost my mom April 28, 2009 to pancreatic and breast cancer. She was 56 years and 26 days old.  She was diagnosed on December 3, 2007 with pancreatic cancer. She almost beat it. Then, on March 16, 2009, she was diagnosed with independent breast cancer. She had a masectomy and lymph nodes removed. She was due to return for chemo and radiation on April 26, 2009.  She died 2 days after she was supposed to return to treatment. So here I am.

There is not one day that goes by that I do not think of my mom. It always feels like yesterday, yet also so long ago. I will say that it has been the longest year of my life. I talked to my mom every single day multiple times. I saw her at least once each day. So, I feel ya on the absence, loss, emptyness.

I also know that your mom knows how much she meant to you, regardless of how "coherent" she was when she died. She knows. I promise you.

I do my damndest not to remember my mom at her death because she also was not "coherent". She was not "her" any more. She was a shell. I think they all are at that point. I believe that their spirits leave long before the last breaths are taken. I do not know your mom's circumstances, but yet strangely, I do.

I too have had dreams, but always of getting to hang out with my mom, not of fighting. However, I remember fighting with my mom to the point that for roughly one month (while she had this cancer) we didn't speak due to a fight. I also know that neither her nor I were perfect, and neither of us expected the other to be. So don't hang onto the rough times. We all have them. Cherish the good ones.

I wish I could dream of her each and every night because then I could see her. I too was a caregiver. They appreciate that as much as we appreciated the time, although painful.

I am sick that your mom was only 49. I felt robbed because mine was barely 56 and I was 29 when she died.

Your mom still loves you. Your mom will always love you. You will always love your mom. She WILL be there for you. She IS there for you now. You just can't see her.

I can't tell you how I know this. I just do.

God bless,

Brooke

Reading these stories reminds me of my own experiences with cancer. My mum died of renal cancer on the 4th august 2008, she was 59 and at that time I was 19. I am now 21 and know without the support of my friends and family  i would not of been able to make it through.

To say my mum and I had the 'perfect' relationship would be a lie, of course we had our moments where we fought but thats what kids and parents do. My mum knew that I loved her and I am sure your mother did to. This is a relationship that has its ups and downs but always there will be love no matter what. I am not at all religeous but I believe that my mum is watching over me from someplace where she is happy with my dad. That is my only consilation - that they are both together and I am sure your mum is watching over you to.

I am angry that I lost my closest friend but I have to get on with my life for her. I want to make her proud of me. The one thing I hate is the fact that now I cant recall her voice, this I find is the worst possible thing but I can still dream about her.

Like brookester I also cared for my mum at the time of her death and I too saw my mum not being 'her' anymore. People always say that the hearing is the last thing to leave so your mum would of known you were there.

 

I cant tell you that things get better as every circumstance is different but it does get easier. I hope this helps. x

I just came across with this website while looking for a "missing my mom" quote for facebook. Thank you guys. I really miss my mom everyday and it has been so long that I never cried not until tonight. She passed away 3 years ago, due to schistosomiasis/brain tumor. The pain is still there. I always think of her the moment I wake up until I sleep... simple things I see around me always remind me of her. I know that she loved us so much, she took care of us too much to the point that we never learned to cook for ourselves or do the household chores (fyi - we are all 3 boys). These past Christmases, we always have surprising menus on the table =). I know she does not want to leave us, we always see a butterfly on every special occasion we have in our family. I wonder how it feels to see my mom celebrated her 54th birthday this year. I wonder how we are making through every year. But I think, she taught us to be strong and love one another. She also taught us to be generous and compassionate person. I just missed you mom... I missed her unconditional love, her good intuition, our conversations... she was my source of strength. I still know how her touch feels, her voice and her smell. I love you mama.