20 Yr Old Neice Has Oc

I am writing because I need some advice/support.  I just got the news today that my neice, who's only 20, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  She is scheduled for surgery this Friday, Jan 11th and then is going to need chemo after that.  She has tumors on her ovary, on her uterus, and her adrenals glands.  She lives 900 miles away and is like my little sister.  I'm terrified and don't even know what to say or how to help her.  She lives with my mother, who raised her.  Can anyone point me in some kind of direction on how I can help and support her?  Is there ANYTHING positive I can share with her?  How can I help keep her morale up as she goes thru this.  All I can think of to tell her seems so stupid, like "imagine your healthy cells are like pacman, eating up the cancer!"  I'm lost! Help!

Dear Myrooni, how sorry I was to hear the news of your your niece, her surgery will be sometime today and I have said a little prayer for her. By what you say in your message it sounds like the cancer is contained to the ovaries. The surgeons will give the staging after surgery. I would imagine it is in the early stages l or ll which means a very good chance of a full recovery. The only advice I can give is for the family to stay positive and strong for your niece and to encourage her to have a healthy diet and exercise (cutting out red meat and all dairy I have found to be very benificial)  I was diagnosed in April 2006 with stage lllc OC and finished my second line chemo last Nov. Theres not a day goes by without me thanking God that I am still here and feeling well. I am a positive person by nature and its the love I have for my family and them for me that keeps me strong. I wish your niece a speedy recovery and do tell her that this OC is just "naughty cells misbehaving, and that she is in charge!"  Very best wishes to you and your family. Lin

 

On 1/11/2008 Angel of Hope wrote:

Dear Myrooni, how sorry I was to hear the news of your your niece, her surgery will be sometime today and I have said a little prayer for her. By what you say in your message it sounds like the cancer is contained to the ovaries. The surgeons will give the staging after surgery. I would imagine it is in the early stages l or ll which means a very good chance of a full recovery. The only advice I can give is for the family to stay positive and strong for your niece and to encourage her to have a healthy diet and exercise (cutting out red meat and all dairy I have found to be very benificial)  I was diagnosed in April 2006 with stage lllc OC and finished my second line chemo last Nov. Theres not a day goes by without me thanking God that I am still here and feeling well. I am a positive person by nature and its the love I have for my family and them for me that keeps me strong. I wish your niece a speedy recovery and do tell her that this OC is just "naughty cells misbehaving, and that she is in charge!"  Very best wishes to you and your family. Lin

Lin, Thank you so much for your concern and kind words.  They were helpful and insightful.  I agree with you about staying positive and upbeat.  I am finding it helpful to also stay in the moment and not let my mind run too far ahead.  Jessie had her surgery yesterday and she came thru well.  She did lose both of her ovaries and lymph nodes plus she apparently had something wrong with her gallbladder and they removed that as well.  The Dr. hasn't said what stage she's at but that she'll need 4 months of aggressive chemo and that he felt her overall prognosis was good.  Needless to say, we are thrilled!  I realize she still has a battle ahead of her but at least she's getting the opportunity to fight it!  She'll WIN!  At any rate, thank you for your kindness to me, a complete stranger, trying to understand:O)

Myrooni, I was also very saddened to hear about your niece.  She is very young to be going thru this.  It sounds as if her surgery went well and that her prognosis is good at this point.  Right now I am currently under treatment for GCT which by the way was diagnosed in June and now I am considered cancer free and only finishing up my treatments as a precaution.  I will have taken 6 cycles. The treatments will be hard on her but with the love and support of family around her it will be much easier.  Don't let her get down!!!!!  Remind her everyday exactly what all she has ahead of her that makes taking the treatments woth it.  I promise you there will be days that she will say this is the last treatment I am taking.  Over the course of my treatments I have said it several times.  Just give her all the support that you can and listen to her fears.  In  the beginning my family tried to down play all the fears that I had.  Don't do that!!!!  Hear what she is saying and address the issue.  There may be nothing at all to her fears but in her mind they are very real.  This can be a very hard mental game as well as a physical one.  Get ready she will have lots of ups and lots of downs. Just be there for her because that is really all you can do at this point.  It is in God's hands now!!!  Tell her good luck and give her a hug from someone who has been there but has beat Ovarian Cancer!!!!!  That someone is ME!!!!!

Luckygirl gave you some excellent advice.  A lot of the literature shows that we, as survivors, feel the need to be positive for others and that that is just more pressure for us.  Don't try to be too positive.  I am so glad her prognosis is good but this cancer is very scary.

There is a young survivor's group on www.acor.org that you may suggest WHEN she feels ready to talk to others.  Timing is impt.

I'm glad you are here for her.