Different Story To Tell

Two years ago, my husband was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the neck.  They did a PET scan, and the primary never did show up.  He had one lymph node removed and they recommended 6 weeks of radiation and chemo.   He underwent not quite 2 weeks of radiation and had 1 chemotherapy treatment.  The chemotherapy made him extremely sick (although they had given him something), and he vomited constantly for almost 2 days.  He quit his radiation and chemotherapy at that point.  Now he has 3 lymph nodes enlarged on the left side of his neck and 1 on the right side of his neck.  Yesterday he had a PET scan, and today we go to see the oncologist.  I asked my husband last night if he was concerned that the cancer may  have spread and he said no.  He feels it is just in his lymph nodes in the neck.  I am not so sure.  He has been having sick headaches frequently and has kind of a gray pallor to his face.  I want to say how much I admire those of you who took the treatment and stuck with it.  I am not anxious to be a widow.  I thought we would have many years together yet, and now I am very much afraid that is not going to happen.  I was very much against him discontinuing treatment.  At the time, however, all 3 of his daughters told him he was doing the right thing, so no support from that direction.  I am afraid and would like to stay home today and not go with him, but of course, I am not going to do that.  Thanks to all of you for being here.   

 

So sorry to hear this story. As you know, quitting treatment was not the right thing to do. Once cancer gets into the lymph system it is like being on a highway in your body. It can spread almost anywhere. That's what it does. Unfortunately it usually doesn't stay put. With this type of cancer it often tries to get to the lungs. Once it is there it is more difficult to treat. I hope the best for you and your husband. Have him read some of the posts on this site if you can. Maybe it will help give him the strength to stick with treatment. It worked for me. During my treatment I vomited everyday for months but stuck with it and now at 55 my life is better than its every been. It just takes perseverance and he can get through the difficult part. After that, everyday is a gift and a beautiful thing to enjoy. 

Good luck!

Joe

PS: No disrespect intended but tell his daughters that they don't know what they're talking about. Have them read this board also. 

Thank you for your kind words. 

Thousands have walked in the same shoes, experienced the same things. I kow he feels alone, but we've all been there. No better, no worse. You just can't give up. Again, thousands have fought and one. Nobody has given up and won. Gotta get back w/ it and just have strength in knowing sooo many of us have been there and it can be done.

Go to www.spohnc.org They have many things that'll help.

Please fight the fight.

Never give up, never give in!

I agree with Joe. Quitting treatment is the wrong thing to do.

Treatment for this kind of cancer is a tough row to hoe. The treatments make you sicker than a dog, I had empty coffee cans scattered all over the house, I vomited so much.

Get the daughters to read some of the posts here, and have them talk to the oncologist, before it's too late.

Good luck,

Mike

I'll pray for you.  My husband was ready to quit after three weeks of chemo and radiation.  He said he was not going back.  But I told him in no uncertain terms that he was going back.  I also enlisted our six children to back me up.  They came through for their dad and talked to him and offered him support.  I am so thankful for that because I, like you, could never agree to his quitting treatment. 

How is your husband doing?

 

Thank you for your kind words and prayer.  At present we are waiting to go to Hopkins in Baltimore for a consult prior to a radical neck dissection.  They have told him if he does not complete his course of treatment, there is no point in doing the surgery.  He is saying things like, "well, I'll try."  Unfortunately we do not have children in common, and his children agreed with his decision to stop treatment 2 years ago.  I am trying to not look too far ahead but just take one day at a time.

 

On 2/2/2008 Scared50 wrote:

Thank you for your kind words and prayer.  At present we are waiting to go to Hopkins in Baltimore for a consult prior to a radical neck dissection.  They have told him if he does not complete his course of treatment, there is no point in doing the surgery.  He is saying things like, "well, I'll try."  Unfortunately we do not have children in common, and his children agreed with his decision to stop treatment 2 years ago.  I am trying to not look too far ahead but just take one day at a time.

Yes, one day at a time is all that any one of us can do.  And even that seem overwhelming at times.  I'm still praying for you. 

 I'm sorry your husband stopped his treatment.  But I can understand somewhat how he felt.  It is scary watching someone suffer the side effects of chemo and radiation.  It must be much more frightening to actually experience the side effects firsthand.  Is there someone that your husband could talk to for support - someone who has actually experienced chemo and radiation? 

My husband had access to good friends and a very supportive family member.  These people would tell us about someone (neighbor, relative or friend) who had gone through the treatments.  My husband was actually given phone numbers of people to talk to.  He also linked up to an oncologist who deals strictly with head and, kept us going forward - but it was not easy.

 Take care.

 

On 2/4/2008 ecmb709 wrote:

 

On 2/2/2008 Scared50 wrote:

Thank you for your kind words and prayer.  At present we are waiting to go to Hopkins in Baltimore for a consult prior to a radical neck dissection.  They have told him if he does not complete his course of treatment, there is no point in doing the surgery.  He is saying things like, "well, I'll try."  Unfortunately we do not have children in common, and his children agreed with his decision to stop treatment 2 years ago.  I am trying to not look too far ahead but just take one day at a time.

Yes, one day at a time is all that any one of us can do.  And even that seem overwhelming at times.  I'm still praying for you. 

 I'm sorry your husband stopped his treatment.  But I can understand somewhat how he felt.  It is scary watching someone suffer the side effects of chemo and radiation.  It must be much more frightening to actually experience the side effects firsthand.  Is there someone that your husband could talk to for support - someone who has actually experienced chemo and radiation? 

My husband had access to good friends and a very supportive family member.  These people would tell us about someone (neighbor, relative or friend) who had gone through the treatments.  My husband was actually given phone numbers of people to talk to.  He also linked up to an oncologist who deals strictly with head and neck cancer and that has kept us going forward - but it was not easy.

 Take care.