How Do You Know When The End Is Near?

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How Do You Know When The End Is Near?

by GailEngland on Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:00 AM

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My Father has secondary liver cancer, which is now in the stomach. He was diagnosed in September . He has had a stent fitted to enable him to eat.  I saw my Father this week-end as it was his birthday he was 72 years young.  I was quite shocked at the state of his poor little body.  His skin is now described as wafer thin.  He gets very tired but most of the times is very alert. 

As he has no muscles now I asked him why didn't he have a bed downstairs.  His reply was, " You only have beds downstairs when you are ready to die".  He crawls up the stairs to his bed .  My Mother is also disabled due to a spinal cord injury, so she finds it hard going up and down the stairs.  I have had a granny annexe built, which is for my Mother but have said to my Mother we could nurse him here, as it would be easier as everthing is on one floor.  I asked my Father , "Why don't you come to my house for a little rest bite? Thinking it will help my Mother too.  His reply was , " I will come when I have built up my muscles and I am not a burden to you ".  I don't really now what to do for the best, I live 2 hours away, so can only get back home at weekends to offer support.

I think in a strange way My Fathers is really putting up a fight against the cancer but I fear his time is running out. 

Anyone know roughly what is the survival time of stomach cancer and secondary liver ?  I thought about 5 months but know it can vary .

The death word is not mentioned at any point but know we must approach the subject soon.  How do you when someone appears to be in denial ?

Any messages will be gratefully received.

Gail  

RE: How Do You Know When The End Is Near?

by lablady on Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:00 AM

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Hello,

        I don't know anything about stomach or liver cancer, sorry, but I imagine the time wouldn't be long.

    My husband died of a brain tumour which took him in 5 1/2 months. Ver quickly after the DX he went into denial and never really came out of it. It was very difficult as we couldn't discuss things re. the funeral or anything related to death. At one point he got really angry with me and accused me of being the only one who thought he was going to die.

 I would advise you to make sure your father has done his will and has power of attorneys in order, this is so important.

 I hope you have support, it makes all the difference.

   Bye Anita

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