Please Help Me Be Strong.

I have just found out that my grandma has pancreatic cancer. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to show her that I am afraid, she needs me to be strong. The other day when I spoke with her I started to cry as soon as she picked up the phone. I really don't want to do that again becasue then I won't want to call or go see her. How do I deal with it? I am not used to dealing with type of crisis. Could someone please give me helpful advice on how to deal with this.

Kitten,

I lost both of my parents to cancer about 2 years ago. They both died within 6 months of each other at the ages of 55 and 56. It was and is a scary thing to watch and accept. Your grandmother is scared too and it is ok for you to let her know that you are scared too. You will go through a lot of different emotions throughout her illness. I will tell you that you should spend as much time with her as you can. That you will never regret. Talk to her and listen to her. Be there for her. I will never regret the months I had with both of my parents before they died. This thing with cancer isn't just that, there is more to it. There are things that we have no control over. I was not a strong believer in all of this, until I experienced it first hand.

The doctors will do what they can for your grandmother and then it is in God's hands. Hang in there. Death is not as scary as you might think. We will all be there one day. If you have ever seen a baby born, you will know what a PRECIOUS gift that is. Well, I now feel that being with someone when they die is also a gift.
I am no longer afraid of dying, because I know I will be in a better place when that time comes and I will be with my parents again. I am surely not ready any time soon. I am only 34, and have a child to raise. So, hang in there and enjoy your time with your grandmother. They really might be able to give her more time, so keep on praying.

I certainly know how you feel. My mother was diagnosed in October 2004. It is the most horrible news you can hear. It is scary, emotional and you feel very angry with God and everyone. The only advice I can give you is to be there because they are just as afraid and scared of this horrible diagnosis. I have been watching my mom/dad retirement years going to doctor’s appointments and chemo/radiation instead of boating, traveling, and spending time with family and friends. But we wouldn’t change a thing right now because we still have her with us!! It is hard and we are all dealing with it the best we can and also helping her to get with it by being there for her and spending as much time as possible. I hope this helps. You have many people that are going through this and we will get through it.

Hi Katy,
I share your pain and feelings of scaredness. My very healthy father of 60 was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just last week. My whole family is devastated and in shock and disbelief. He has lived his whole life leading and preaching a healthy lifestyle and has never had a medical problem until this. My mom, sister and I stay strong around my dad and let him do his everyday activities and talk to him about everyday things. We want him to be as positive and strong as possible because we strongly believe that having faith will help you overcome, no matter what doctors say. I say prayers throughout the day and just think to myself that becasue this doesn't make any sense and because we are willing to do everything in our power to help my dad, we will all come through this having won the battle with cancer. My advice to you is to let out your sadness, anger and anything else you are feeling, it's natural, but try to stay strong for your grandmother and have lots of faith and positivity and make sure she is in good spirits. I also think exploring alternative therapies is the way to go to supplement any medical treatment she may receive. Please know that you are not alone. I wish you and your grandmother the best of luck and will pray for the best.

Dear Kitten-- My father just passed away this past Sunday of Pancreatic cancer. It was hard to see him like that at first. It never gets easy. But the Lord has been our comfort from the begining. We prayed and stood on the word of God. I remember praying to the Father in heaven Saturday before my dad went home to be with the lord, for his mercy and grace to be poured out on my mom and my dad. And he did answer my prayer. My dad did not have to go through all of the effects of that horrible cancer. My dad recieved Jesus as his Lord and Saviour long befor he went home to be with him. I thank God that my dad was spared the pain. My dad was not in pain like we thought he would be. He took tylenol with codine, but not all that much. You need a good support system. Your family, church, friends. We have hope-- who know Jesus. The world does not have the assurance like we do because of their unbelief. Sure, I believed that my dad would beat this thing, but in the way I wanted him to. I believed for his healing and so did he and our family. The Lord heard our prayers and he was healed the day he went home to be with Jesus. I have comfort in knowing that God is still on the throne and is in control. We may not think that our prayers are heard or answered sometimes, but the Lord knows what he is doing. It was time for my dad to go home, his suffering of any kind was ended.My dad believed to the very end, and the whole family was there to be with him, that was a blessing also. I still hurt and grieve for my dad. But I have peace and comfort in knowing that he is in glory with Jesus, not hurting, not sick, not sad.I know that I will see my dad again one day. I know that he is doing well where he is. I wouldn't have wanted him back the way he was. His body was breaking down and it wasn't living, it was existing--barely. Pray for your granmother and trust God to do what only he can do. God is faithful. Sometimes we have to look beyond what our physical eyes can see, and look through our spiritual eyes in faith, believing. I don't know what kind of cancer your grandmother has, but give it to God, and pray that his will be done, and believe that you recieve and thank him for it.I will keep you and your grandmother and family in my prayers. God bless you and your family. I just remembered that you wrote that she has pancreatic cancer. Have faith and lean on Jesus. We were strong for my dad, but we were also not so strong at times. And they need to see that as well at times. Just because you cry doesn't mean that you aren't strong. We are human, and we have feelings. I learned not to cry for myself, I was crying for the thought that they were going through all that they were going through.I learned not to be overwhelmed at times by calling on the name of Jesus for strength and courage. Let me know how you and your grandmother are doing. God bless you all, Linda

Hi, I am sorry about your Dad...I am going thru the difficult time too at the moment, my Mom was diagnosed of having cancer of the pancreas...like your Dad, she does not have much pain, the only pain she feels right now is like an indigestion. She has been healthy..a month ago she turn yellow, yellow skin, yellow eyes, and her urination turn yellowish...went to doctor for a month already, and finally they found this out...can you tell me how long did your Dad lived from the time he found out? Thanks, and again...I am truly sorry.