Diagnoses At The End

My mom was diagnosed 01/28/08 and assigned Hospice within three days.  She has Adenocarcinoma of the stomach with mets to the liver and peritoneal wall.  Surgery was not an option as the cancer started in the top portion of her stomach and involves the whole stomach now.  She has a J-tube which doesn't seem to be taking well.  She has alot of nausea and vomiting (bile).  She can take nothing by mouth. 

My biggest question is this; I have a son in the USAF stationed in Florida.  He is planning leave the first week of April.  Is there anyone with experience in this area able to tell me if they think this is soon enough or should I get Red Cross to get his behind home now? 

Our heads are spinning.  Mom is only 70yo, doesn't drink, smoke, and spent her life taking care of everyone else.  Dad passed away in 1999 and it makes me feel better to think that he got tired of waiting for her.

Any advise or information on how much time (general of course) we can enjoy her presents.

RhondaH

I am sorry to hear about mother's condition. There are some options that you can discuss with the family.  She can ask her own doctor to get her on TPN, which can help her for some bonus times,  in the meantime you can contact Clinical trial to see if she can qualify for the trials. My brother,51 yrs old, he had TPN and survived 8 months more, even though it was not a quality time, but it can buy time for more treatment in Clinical trial.

God Bless you and the Family,

 

On 2/14/2008 RhondaH wrote:

My mom was diagnosed 01/28/08 and assigned Hospice within three days.  She has Adenocarcinoma of the stomach with mets to the liver and peritoneal wall.  Surgery was not an option as the cancer started in the top portion of her stomach and involves the whole stomach now.  She has a J-tube which doesn't seem to be taking well.  She has alot of nausea and vomiting (bile).  She can take nothing by mouth. 

My biggest question is this; I have a son in the USAF stationed in Florida.  He is planning leave the first week of April.  Is there anyone with experience in this area able to tell me if they think this is soon enough or should I get Red Cross to get his behind home now? 

Our heads are spinning.  Mom is only 70yo, doesn't drink, smoke, and spent her life taking care of everyone else.  Dad passed away in 1999 and it makes me feel better to think that he got tired of waiting for her.

Any advise or information on how much time (general of course) we can enjoy her presents.

RhondaH

I hope I am wrong and please remember I am no expert but, when my mother experienced your mother's symptoms, it seemed to be a matter of weeks.  My mother was vomitting bile when her body rejected her J-tube near the end.  Keep in mind she chose not to have an IV or TPN for extra fluids or nutrients.  Those could be an option for your mom though.

I am so glad that you do have some comfort in knowing your Dad will be there for her when it is her time. 

My prayers are with you and your family.

 

Please speak to your hospice nurses, they will know best as they have seen this many, many times.  My father was in similar state as your mother, however he had been vomiting for weeks before j tube placement.  His oncologist said 4-6 weeks remained.  However, the hospice nurse assessed him that same day and recognized he was not tolerating the feedings and could see the decline daily.  She told me my father had more like 4-6 days.  He found eternal peace 10 days later.

 

On 2/14/2008 RhondaH wrote:

My mom was diagnosed 01/28/08 and assigned Hospice within three days.  She has Adenocarcinoma of the stomach with mets to the liver and peritoneal wall.  Surgery was not an option as the cancer started in the top portion of her stomach and involves the whole stomach now.  She has a J-tube which doesn't seem to be taking well.  She has alot of nausea and vomiting (bile).  She can take nothing by mouth. 

My biggest question is this; I have a son in the USAF stationed in Florida.  He is planning leave the first week of April.  Is there anyone with experience in this area able to tell me if they think this is soon enough or should I get Red Cross to get his behind home now? 

Our heads are spinning.  Mom is only 70yo, doesn't drink, smoke, and spent her life taking care of everyone else.  Dad passed away in 1999 and it makes me feel better to think that he got tired of waiting for her.

Any advise or information on how much time (general of course) we can enjoy her presents.

RhondaH

Hi Rhonda! How are things with your Mom?  I'm so sorry, stomach cancer is a bastard of a disease.  I lost my Dad (only 55 yrs old) to stomach cancer last Nov, and once he went into hospice, he had about two weeks.  I was still in denial, thinking hospice was just temporary for him until he got stronger.  My Dad had a J-tube as well, and he also had a lot going on with the bile, etc, until the very end, when he was just in and out.  I'm prior Air Force, and I'd suggest they contact Red Cross, and send him home on emergency leave.  God bless to you and your family, **hugs**....

Hi, My father in law was not diagnosed with stage iv until his surgery.  I am not sure why, since they knew the lymphnodes by the stomach were infected.

 

First of all, Rhonda, God bless you and your family during this difficult time.  I am also going thru the same thing with my Mother.  She was diagnosed last Oct - had part of her stomach removed in Nov.  Went home and was doing reasonably well and then all of a sudden we are on downward spiral.

 My Mother began having extreme pain during bowel movements and started vomiting bile.  After 5 days of vomiting we finally found someone to admit her and get an IV going.  We thought it was temporary.  She has been in the hospital for about a month now.  I would guess she has less than a week right now.  We tried hospice - it lasted for one day.  It just proved to be too much for the family and for her.

 She never had a J tube but she did have an NG tube (nasal gastric).  Since she kept vomiting the bile - the tube goes down her nose into her stomach and sucks the bile out for her.  It would seem what was left of my Mother's stomach has quit working.  We don't know why.

The cancer had not spread to any organs or lymphnodes - we and the doctors thought we caught it early.  When they opened it up - it was everywhere in her pelvic cavity.  She was diagnosed as stage 4.

This is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my whole life.  I sit with her everyday and tell her that I love her.

We had to call my sister home from Iraq.  We contacted the Red Cross and she was at my Mother's side within 48 hours.  It made them both happy.  My sister is home now and her base has transferred her to a local base near my Mother so she can be with her.  We are so fortunate to have this time.  I would say call your son home now while your father is still awake and can speak.  Sooner than later you will be administering more and more drugs and they just don't wake up or when they do they are very confused.

God Bless you and all that have to deal with the dreadful disease.

Cancer patients have a very special dignity.  They all seem to hold their head high and face it head on.  My Mother is the bravest woman I know.  I'm so honored that she was chosen to be my Mother.

Excuse me, Rhonda  - I meant your Mother - not your Father.  I apologize.

 

On 2/18/2008 tashfish wrote:

 

On 2/14/2008 RhondaH wrote:

My mom was diagnosed 01/28/08 and assigned Hospice within three days.  She has Adenocarcinoma of the stomach with mets to the liver and peritoneal wall.  Surgery was not an option as the cancer started in the top portion of her stomach and involves the whole stomach now.  She has a J-tube which doesn't seem to be taking well.  She has alot of nausea and vomiting (bile).  She can take nothing by mouth. 

My biggest question is this; I have a son in the USAF stationed in Florida.  He is planning leave the first week of April.  Is there anyone with experience in this area able to tell me if they think this is soon enough or should I get Red Cross to get his behind home now? 

Our heads are spinning.  Mom is only 70yo, doesn't drink, smoke, and spent her life taking care of everyone else.  Dad passed away in 1999 and it makes me feel better to think that he got tired of waiting for her.

Any advise or information on how much time (general of course) we can enjoy her presents.

RhondaH

Hi Rhonda! How are things with your Mom?  I'm so sorry, stomach cancer is a bastard of a disease.  I lost my Dad (only 55 yrs old) to stomach cancer last Nov, and once he went into hospice, he had about two weeks.  I was still in denial, thinking hospice was just temporary for him until he got stronger.  My Dad had a J-tube as well, and he also had a lot going on with the bile, etc, until the very end, when he was just in and out.  I'm prior Air Force, and I'd suggest they contact Red Cross, and send him home on emergency leave.  God bless to you and your family, **hugs**....

 

 

Hi Tash-

 Mom' s J-tube was plugged and they have replaced it.  She is very weak and can barely stand long enough to get to the commode.  Hospice is keeping her nausea and bile problems completely under control and she is in very little pain.  She is now having problems with constipation but Milk of Magnesia seems to work for now.  I am amazed every day what a strong woman she is.  She is taking what time she has and writing down family history and writing letters to those she loves.  I am just concerned that she will linger with no quality for months.  She is a very dignified lady and I just can't see her going out like this.

I was so glad to hear from others that had gone through this as most of what I was reading were people who had the surgery and chemo.  I guess no one wants to talk much about the bad stuff but I needed to know that I wasn't alone so I thank you.

Rhonda