Lost My Mom

Well I lost my mom on the 9th. She was told about the cancer in mid June of 07, had 3 different kinds of chemo. & nothing helped. The last 8 months of her life were the worst, sick & never felt like doing anything . I want to say to anyone who knows that they don't have much of a chance , my advice would be to you........ don't do a thing & enjoy what little time you have left doing the things that you've always wanted to do !!! When your family is pushing you to do all this chemo. they are being selfish because they don't want to lose you , but they aren't the ones who will be going thru the pain you will & when you don't have much of a chance just enjoy what little time you have left !
Just my two cents !!

Hi,

I lost my Mom on December 5th, after a 22 month battle with Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. The Chemo made my Mom worse too and she has no quality of life including being feed out of a feeding tube from 1/06 until her passing on 12/5. Chemo is at best pallative symptomatic care and does not cure the underlying cause which is a very sick body. May peace be with you. Your Mom and my my Mom are in a better place out those ravaged and sick bodies.  My sympathies to you and your family.

Tom

 Fruitloop63 and Sleepy123, How sad for you, I do feel your pain.

  I was an oncology nurse who specialized in this form of cancer, Yes it is a hard way to go.  Chemo, not to knock it for everyone as it does help some people, can ruin the quality of life for some.  The doctor I worked with often gave the patient a choice, go home with pain meds and be with your family or choose surgery and chemo and maybe give yourself another year.  A lot of people took the meds, went home and died more peacfully.

Because ovarian cancer is found in such late stages it is a hard one to get into remission. If caught early enough, some of these medications/chemo help.  I survived a deadly fatal cancer by going natural and doing about 10% medical. This is not for everyone and all have to make a choice.  I did notice patients often chose the chemo for their families not themselves.  For all you lurkers, I am NOT SAYING that you should NOT take chemo but you should let the patient choose without family, pressure. Often adding natural with chemo it does wonders,  other times nothing works.  I like the Cancer Treatment Centers of America as they offer both..  A more rounded approch.  So dear ones may you remember the good times with your mothers and the happy times.  The only consolation is they are no longer suffering and now you are left to mourn. my prayers are with you.....MMS

On 2/19/2008 Sleepy123 wrote:

Hi,

I lost my Mom on December 5th, after a 22 month battle with Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. The Chemo made my Mom worse too and she has no quality of life including being feed out of a feeding tube from 1/06 until her passing on 12/5. Chemo is at best pallative symptomatic care and does not cure the underlying cause which is a very sick body. May peace be with you. Your Mom and my my Mom are in a better place out those ravaged and sick bodies.  My sympathies to you and your family.

Tom

 

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. And, I am also an ovarian cancer patient. I learned of my stage 3C diagnosis on July 2, 2007, about the same time as your mom.

During the fall season my chemo treatment was working and then stopped working. I was on carboplatin and taxol. My doctor recommended, and I just completed, surgery to remove the new tumor growth. I also had the procedure called, Intraperitoneal Hyperthermic Chemotherapy (heated chemo inserted into the abdomen immediately following surgery). The next step after I heal (4 weeks since surgery today), is to start chemo again. This time they are growing the cancer in a lab and hoping to find a chemo that works.

I speak from my heart when I thank you for the advice you have given. I am not looking forward to the chemo, and on some days don't want to take any more. I have had a lot of unpleasant side effects from the four rounds I already endured, and do not want to re-live them. I'm still hopeful that maybe this last procedure has done the job, but I'm also prepared if it hasn't.

You are right, people are being selfish because they want me to live, even if it means taking a detrimental treatment. I may have to disappoint them in order to have quality time. Thanks to you I feel confirmed in my justification of this decision should I choose this route. I am 48, which makes it all the harder to make such a choice. I hope I won't have to.... Please take care of yourself, and I hope you are comforted in knowing your mom is no longer suffering. Thank you for writing what you did.

Kelly

 

On 2/20/2008 Kellykil wrote:

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. And, I am also an ovarian cancer patient. I learned of my stage 3C diagnosis on July 2, 2007, about the same time as your mom.

During the fall season my chemo treatment was working and then stopped working. I was on carboplatin and taxol. My doctor recommended, and I just completed, surgery to remove the new tumor growth. I also had the procedure called, Intraperitoneal Hyperthermic Chemotherapy (heated chemo inserted into the abdomen immediately following surgery). The next step after I heal (4 weeks since surgery today), is to start chemo again. This time they are growing the cancer in a lab and hoping to find a chemo that works.

I speak from my heart when I thank you for the advice you have given. I am not looking forward to the chemo, and on some days don't want to take any more. I have had a lot of unpleasant side effects from the four rounds I already endured, and do not want to re-live them. I'm still hopeful that maybe this last procedure has done the job, but I'm also prepared if it hasn't.

You are right, people are being selfish because they want me to live, even if it means taking a detrimental treatment. I may have to disappoint them in order to have quality time. Thanks to you I feel confirmed in my justification of this decision should I choose this route. I am 48, which makes it all the harder to make such a choice. I hope I won't have to.... Please take care of yourself, and I hope you are comforted in knowing your mom is no longer suffering. Thank you for writing what you did.

Kelly

kelly, please don't give up hope! there are many people here with ovca who are also battling, some for several years now! i agree that in the beginning c-speech can leave u reeling, a real cold shower! i actually thought i'd be dead within the year! now i'm 2 years down the road, feeling fine & ready for the next battle when it comes: u never know when they will find a cure so i'm willing to fight until they do, the survival rates keep going up so don't give up yet! you are still young! keep up the spirit. harriet

Kelly,  Don't give up to soon.  My aunt had inoperable ovarian cancer and lived 5 wonderful years cancer free.  It did come back about a month after she hit her 5 year mark and she lived for about another year but FIVE years she had to spend with her children!  That was back in the 80's and statistics are better now.  Good luck and God Bless.

 

I'm sorry for your losses of your mothers!

Thank you Harriet. I really appreciate your advisement to keep the faith, and I promise you I continue to. Some days are easier than others, as I'm sure you have experienced, and I just hope that my story includes years as yours has. I'm so happy for your success, and hope it continues.

Thank you again for your lovely inspiration, and I assure you it has been well received. Being Irish means I don't give up very easily. :-)

Take care always, and keep me posted on your progress if you wish to. I really care to know.

Kelly

i am sorry to hear  u lost ur mom, i too had ovarain cancer  had surgery went threw chemo i  had  carboplatin also it has beeb about 6 months and i now have too more tumors the doctor says it has come bk the cancer so i am going to be having surgery soon my heart  goes out to u  and yes it is very hard i am waitng for my blood test results to  come bk also  tk care

I lost my mom on the 8th of February, 2008.  She was told she had cancer around March of 2007.  She had lung cancer.  It started out as a tumor on her lung and they said radiation would help. They tried her one does of chemo but it almost killed her so they decided radiation instead.  After about 30 treatments, it shrunk alittle, that's it. Unfortunately, another small tumor  popped out on her other lung, go figure.  Then in October, she ended up in the hospital as she was run down. She got built up with blood transfusions and iv, then discovered a lump on her forehead. They gave her 5 treatments of radiation (1 every day)   That shrunk it alittle but it spread to her hips.  From then on she was basically not able to do much at all.  She said to me once...if you ever get cancer, don't do the treatments.  Now I wonder if maybe she shouldn't have. I pushed her to get them as I thought they would help or prolong her life.  Last day I talked to her she was complaining of pains in her head.  The next time I saw her was 3:30 am on Thursday in a coma. She lasted until Friday at 6 pm when she just stopped breathing.  I had to write because I agree with you fruitloop....maybe I should have let her be.  At least then she wouldn't have suffered so much.  I loved her and miss her alot.   Just my 2 cents.

 

On 2/17/2008 fruitloop62 wrote:

Well I lost my mom on the 9th. She was told about the cancer in mid June of 07, had 3 different kinds of chemo. & nothing helped. The last 8 months of her life were the worst, sick & never felt like doing anything . I want to say to anyone who knows that they don't have much of a chance , my advice would be to you........ don't do a thing & enjoy what little time you have left doing the things that you've always wanted to do !!! When your family is pushing you to do all this chemo. they are being selfish because they don't want to lose you , but they aren't the ones who will be going thru the pain you will & when you don't have much of a chance just enjoy what little time you have left !
Just my two cents !!

 

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.  my mom was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma 8 weeks ago and was given a poor prognosis by the doctors at dane farber. I have been doing everything in my power to find alternative methods although my mom is irish and stubborn and believes in the medical doctors.  I am at a loss and am becomming increasingly helpless and don't know how to handle it.  I would do anything for my mom to get off chemo. ANYTHING!  We are living an absolute nightmare.   My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

Sicerely,

Linda