My husband died

 

On 2/28/2008 Kellypicco wrote:

I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom 69 days ago from pancreatic cancer.  She sufferred terribly.  We were glad that her suffering ended and did not realize how our suffering was beginning.  Our lives are so empty w/out her.  I constantly think of her.  I do not cry everyday anymore.  Its a very difficult journey to watch your loved one suffer from this disease and then they are gone.  We are fortunate we have our memories, our photos and lots of video tapes of her --which my kids watch.  At first my brother would call me and he actually laughed--i was so mad at him.  I said how can you even smile, let alone laugh, he told me mom is not suffering anymore and that makes me happy.  His words really helped me.  And i hope they help you.  My mom was only 63 yrs old. 

Some days I am actually jealous of my friends because they dont realize how lucky they are to have their mom.  No one knows how you feel, unless you go through this.  My therapy was keeping extremely busy and at night --it was hard and i would cry and cry.  Its no easy, but life does go on.  Some days/weeks i feel like i am just existing.  Surround yourself with your loved ones and celebrate your husband life and memories.   

 

Hi,

 my father has been fighting his pancreas cancer for 2 years now.... and he is in the last stage of his life the doctor said.  My father is 61 years old.  He has been suffering for the last 2 years.  In the last weeks I have been wishing him to die in peace and to go towards a better place, a place with no pain, no humilation, no confusion,.... and now that his end seems to be coming fast... I don't know what to think.  I am so sad to think he is going to leave us, but at the same time I'm thinking about my mother who is all alone to take care of him and for her own sake, I think this needs to end.  I feel lost.  My father still thinks he will make it.... but we all know he won't.... it is horrible to see him being so diminish....  I wish I hadn't had to see him like that.  It will be difficult to remember the good times, after seeing him in so much pain, physically and mentally.

Slinky

I know exactly how you feel.  My mom was diagnosed 4/24/07 and died 12/21/07.  She had an unsuccessful whipple with many complications.  She went from 150 lbs to 65 lbs.  She did not eat anything for 21 days before dying.  We all prayed for her to go as it was horrible to see her like that.  She suffered terribly as hospice had a hard time controlling her pain. This is a wicked disease and unfortunately there is no hope.  I am sorry to hear about your dad.  As he is young like my mom.  My mom had fought for awhile and at the end of november she had had enough--she told me and my brother and she just gave up.  It broke our hearts, but how can you be mad at someone for giving up when there is no hope.  I pray that your dad goes quickly and peacefully. I was right there with my mom when she died.  I sat with her for 45 minutes after.  She looked so peaceful for the first time in a 8 months.  The funeral was the easy part, i know that sound terrible.  But you have your friends and family there.  Then you have to come home back to your life and get back into your normal routine, which i could not remember what it was--as my mom was very ill and spent 55 days in the hospital and lived with me about 5 months from june to december.  I am fortunate to have a good husband and some great friends and other family.  That call me constantly and lend a shoulder.  Some days i would not say a word others i would.  I will keep you and your mom and especially your dad in my prayers.  If you want to talk please respond back.  After my mom passed i used this board as my therapy.