A Not So Good Best Case Scenario

My husband who was diagnosed with metastatic rectal cancer in September last year, has been struggling with a small bowel obstruction for about 7 weeks now (has an ileostomy).  He has no quality of life (pain, vomiting & distension).  He has lost a great deal of weight and is now below 50 kilos, has little energy and looks dreadful.

Tomorrow he is having surgery.  The surgeons "best case scenario" is that they will be able to resect the small bowel without complications, then two weeks of recovery, with him coming home on a normal diet.  After his wound has healed they expect him to start on chemotherapy.  All this with a view to an extra six months with us!

And that's the 'best case' scenario.

If there are complications, if he can't handle food, if he isn't deemed ft enough for chemo - then how long - less than six months.

I know he has to have this surgery.  If he doesn't then we lose him faster and he has no chance of coming home first.

I always knew this was a possibility, on diagnoses we were told one to two years.  And this 'best case' scenario means he'll have made it just to one year.  i guess hope and optimism can lead to dissapointment.

Now i'm facing widowhood, lonliness and single motherhood much sooner than i had hoped.  And just how am i supposed to manage a career as well!

Remember that you might get the best case scenario.  I was diagnosed with Stage IV colo-rectal cancer in December 2005.  Since that time I have had three surgeries- colon and liver tumor resection, ileostomy reversal, and subsequent liver resection, been hospitalized three times for small bowel obstructions, had chemo-embolization and Radio frequency ablation and been hospitalized four other times for various problems.  I am currently on chemotherapy and am doing well.  I have no idea how long my future will be but today I feel ok and am able to spend it with my family.  I will fight to get as many good todays as I can.

Bowel obstructions were among the most painful complications that I have had.  Hopefully your husband will respond well to the surgery and be given an unspecified number of good todays to spend with his family.  All my best wishes are being sent your way.

I know that this is very trying on you and your family.  My mother has recently been diagnosed with Rectal and Vaginal Cancer.  Surgery, however is not an option for her.  I know that you have alot of questions and just feel the need to know "why, and how...and how long" over and over just as I do.  I could not imagine your posistion, but hang in there the best that you can.  Take care of yourself as well along your journey.  Your children are going to need you in the months and years to come.  I will remember your family in my prayers.  It helps me to know that someone else (many, many people) face the same fears and trials that I am going through.  I would love to hear from you and see how your husband is doing. 

Best Wishes,

Lisa

I know what you are talking about... I had a total of 4 abdominal surgeries last summer because of bowel obstruction.   I was in the hospital for 3.5 months andI was hooked up to a TPN for the better part of 5 months.  My last surgery was August 1st, it was successful and I was on chemo by the end of the month (although I wasn't able to eat fairly well for 2-3 months after that).

Hopefully, they will be able to start him on chemo 4-6 weeks after his surgery.  They started me on  a limited dose and worked up from there.  Now I am on the full dose of Fullfox.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

My husband has undergone his surgery now and has been transferred to a hospital closer to home.  The recovery has gone reasonably well, in that it has resulted in the problem of the bowel obstruction being resolved, however due to massive fluid retention my husband was still unable to eat until a few days ago - when they drained 4 litres of fluid from his abdomen.

Since the drain he has eaten well, however, today he is unwell again with nausea and sweats. I am fearful that it is a sign that the fluid is building up again.

It is my understanding that the presence of fluid retention like this results in a much shorter prognosis. 

I'm struggling today - he's been in hospital for six weeks now and i'm really feeling like a widow already!  The only difference is that my husband is still alive and I'd love to spend all my time with him - but i can't because I need to look after my kids and kids and hospitals don't really mix all that well.

On 2/23/2008 skirky wrote:

My husband who was diagnosed with metastatic rectal cancer in September last year, has been struggling with a small bowel obstruction for about 7 weeks now (has an ileostomy).  He has no quality of life (pain, vomiting & distension).  He has lost a great deal of weight and is now below 50 kilos, has little energy and looks dreadful.

Tomorrow he is having surgery.  The surgeons "best case scenario" is that they will be able to resect the small bowel without complications, then two weeks of recovery, with him coming home on a normal diet.  After his wound has healed they expect him to start on chemotherapy.  All this with a view to an extra six months with us!

And that's the 'best case' scenario.

If there are complications, if he can't handle food, if he isn't deemed ft enough for chemo - then how long - less than six months.

I know he has to have this surgery.  If he doesn't then we lose him faster and he has no chance of coming home first.

I always knew this was a possibility, on diagnoses we were told one to two years.  And this 'best case' scenario means he'll have made it just to one year.  i guess hope and optimism can lead to dissapointment.

Now i'm facing widowhood, lonliness and single motherhood much sooner than i had hoped.  And just how am i supposed to manage a career as well!

 

I am sorry to hear about what is going on with you and your family, and sorry for myself which is so close to what you are going through.  My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 rectal cancer last Feb.  He has bravely gone through 3 surgeries (one was a total flop on the lung!), radiation and chemo.  We were all hopeful until his last surgery which he was supposed to have the last known tumor removed from his lung.  During recovery, 3 more nodules grew in his lung and became inoperable.  He started chemo just last week and found that the 5FU is inducing heart attack symptoms and he had to stop it right away.  I have 4 kids under 13 and a full-time job.  The oncologist sounded grim when describing the situation to me. He does not want support from anyone and is near giving up and refuse even to discuss about options.  I hang in there but is hard.  Every morning I wake up to the reality of fighting another day.  There is not at moment I don't think about what else I can do, what if something happens, how do handle my kids' emotions and how do I carry on?

God bless

Cecilia