My Hero's

I've only been done w/ radiation for 3 days and I'm already looking in the mirror at the big white spot on the side of my tongue thinking now I have tongue cancer. I cough and think it has spread to my lungs because when I had the original scan before treatment it showed nodules (even though they said most likely unrelated).

I don't know how you people wait the month after radiation for the check-up scan!! You're some tough folks.

I even tried to go hit golf balls today to break my concentration but the heat (i'm in Vegas) on my raw neck hurt to bad.

God forbide. I may need a job!!

Rick

Hi Rick,

I feel for you.  It takes time to recover and we all heal differently.  When my treatment was over, waiting was just overwhelming.  It has been 2 years this week and it just seemed to go in cycles.

I encountered blisters still after treatment and occasionally still today, and I also got Thrush.  I had no clue what was going on, the changes that were happening to my mouth, throat, teeth, eating, etc.  I also, had white spots on the sides of the tongue, then in the middle of the tongue, one time it was black, (it was from coffee and tea) I ran to my surgeon, so afraid and it Thrush. 

Also, my tongue, gums, teeth are easily stained by stuff, so I mostly choose non colored things to put in there, but it was real bad right after treatment, it has gotten better and it will for you as well.  You are doing fine and it is understandable for you to ask, please, ask away.  I feel like I have a weight lifted off my shoulders for finding this message board with good folks who speak very openly about things they are, have experience.  I feel great today!!!

You will be fine & God is with you.

God Bless

Patricia

 

Thanks Patricia.

I'm glad you're doing well. I hurt like heck tonight. The last few days have been worse then while I was getting radiation. I guess I was thinking more on the lines that, ok radiation is over let's go play. It just doesn't go that way, not for a long time.

But, I have a great wife and family for support. My prayers and those from all the folks praying for me are a great comfort.

I only had radiation. I just don't get it how people can have chemo/surgery/radiation that goes on and on and on. I guess you just go through what you must go through to survive. I pray I'm done and the radiation is the only step I'll ever need, but I also pray for all of those not so fortunate.

Time to go watch American Idol and get a good laff to end the night.

Thanks and God Bless,

Rick

Rick,

The two weeks AFTER radiation were the worst for me. Pain, mucus, constant coughing and vomiting--it was horrible.

As far as the waiting goes, I just got to the point where I decided if it comes back, so be it. I prefer to stay really, really busy. But while you are healing up and can't do anything, it's very, very hard. I finally ended up in a psychiatrist's office because I was afraid to leave my house, almost suicidal and had panic attacks. Medication, therapy, my little girl, and my spiritual life have helped me immensely.

Best of luck to you. It's a journey and once treatment is over, I think that's when it really hits you, wow, I'm a cancer SURVIVOR.

And I did watch a lot of reality TV! It's a great escape.

I too was told that the two weeks following radiation were the worst.  My docs and other forum members were right. They said it was like cooking meat.

Anyone who's cooked a steak knows that if you want it cooked med-well, you have to pull it off the fire at medium. The term is "letting it rest" for a few minutes while it continues to cook.

Your neck, jaw and anything else in the radiation path does the same thing. About a month after radiation stops, you'll start to heal for real.  It will then take about a month for each week of radiation.

All of this depends on how much radiation you've had, of course. 

Tom

Right now is the toughest time for you Rick, because you are still barely recovering, and not so active. So your mind has lots of time to think of what-ifs. Once you become a little more active you can immerse yourself in things that will distract your mind. I have found running, as much as I have to force myself to do it, makes me forget I was ever a cancer patient. Maybe some funny books and movies would help you right now.

You guys are awesome. The stories really hit home. I think one of my problems is. I'm 51 and retired. being 51 and retired sounds great, and it is. But right now as I heal, I need more to do but dwell on my problems. That's why I'm on this board so much. I'm not sick enough to be in bed, not well enough to be working out or playing 18 holes everyday. I think if I had a desk job (p/t) I could at least keep my mind busy.

But, I'll get through it as everyone does. You know, beat the wife, kick the dog, shoot the bird, then usual stuff. (and for you whackos, yes I'm just kidding)

Rick

LOL Rick!   While my husband went through recovery from surgery, he burned to CD thousands of his vinyl records (aw, man, just dated myself) and then burned the CD's to the computer, and then went through every single one and titled them.  Drove me crazy!   But it pasted the time for him, and kept is mind off of all of the what if's. 

That's a great idea. I have a ton of old 35mm slides from my childhood days. I could put those on a cd. I just have to figure out how.

Thanks for the suggestion. BTW: What type sounds did your husband burn to disc? Good 60's 70's music. I'll buy a copy from him.

Thanks,

R

Hey Rick, I think we have met before in this board.  I had, or have, thyroid cancer.  I know what you mean about the waiting for another checkup thing.  For a thyroid cancer patient there is alot of wait and sees.  I have finished up my radiation treatment and now I don't return to the doc. until July sometime.  I also find myself thinking I have all kinds of cancers.  I see a spot on my skin, and think yep that is skin cancer.  Or a soar throat is for sure throat cancer.  I am a stay at home mom of two, so I have lots of time to think.  Maybe I need a job too.  It's so hard to move on with life knowing that cancer was in your body, and woundering is that it, or will it return???  I really think I need to see a shrink.  Well I'm not sure what my point is here.  Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.  I don't know much about your cancer, but I do know about dealing with the aftermath of having cancer all too well.  Take care-Skylog