I am so confused I was diagnosed with later stage 5 for head neck and throat cancer , when i went into the hospital I think was at my worst and that was for a feeding tube I went thru rounds and rounds of radiation I was burnt to a crisp , lost all taste buds , that of course made me loose weight , i went down to 70 pounds and was given 3 weeks to live , I came home and hospice was waiting for me .. Ive been with them for the last 2 years . My nurses come to my house keep me on pills and liquid morphine telling me I have to make oiut a will , that I wont make it 3 months , then it was 6 months , then I got sick but they wouldnt allow me to go aggresivelly after my cancer , so I make out my will, and live knowing Im dying , there is something wrong with this picture , Im still alive and now after all this time the drs think ive gone into remission hurray I prayed to be alive , I am a single mom of a 14 yr old boy , we had lived with the idea that cancer was the end for me , now do we get our hopes back up that im going to live....how could it all just disappear Thank God for this miracle , now do i get my hopes up that im going to live and only to get sick again I dont think we can go thru this again..it tore us up hard , I have learned who really aare my friends and which ones really werent there for me when I needed someone , being 50 and single going thru this with a little boy uis just so uncool , i have no adult to talk to because all my friends disappeared when they found out i had cancer .. they acted like i was contagious or something ... but if they knew i was in remission theyd be the first to say something like I knew you could pull thru how the hekk do I start all over again .. Im confused after all of this , just confused ..ive lived so long with the thought i was dying that I think i forgot how to live I think....I guess it will become more normal as the days go on in the mean time Im going to live
God Bless
cathy & Dustin