You have EVERY RIGHT to find an oncologist that you can relate to.
I have had breast cancer twice: once in 1996 when I opted for a lumpectomy with chemo and radiation and then again in late 2006-2007 when the cancer returned to the same spot and I had a mascetomy and chemo. During both occasions, I "interviewed" the surgeon and oncologist. I insist that I have a doctor that relates well to me and understands my wishes. I don't like to be treated like a number instead of a person.
This past February, I was given an oncologist that was very hard headed and not very personal. After the first visit, I called in to make the next appointment and asked for a female oncologist. During the appointment with the next oncologist, she made me feel welcome, but I was concerned that she was too young. I stayed with her for 2-3 visits, but she didn't know enough about alternatives and wanted to stick with "standard protocol". I worked with her until my chemo was finished and then asked to be changed again. The third time worked like a charm. My current oncologist is my age (50) and the head of the department. She understands my needs much better than the other two doctors, and is willing to work with me to learn about vitamins and herbs. I feel that they help me and I don't want a third occurrence, so we are marching through this together.
It's your body and you have to feel good about the people that are treating you. You don't need nagging thoughts and negative impressions. Are their other oncologists at your medical facility?