Telling Past Partner

Hi!

I have a bit of a random question. I recently found outI have HPV and emailed my previous boyfriend that he might have been exposed. I am horribly nervous about having told him (i even wish I could recall the email!) but I know it was probably the right thing to do. Can anyone confirm with me that this was correct and that I should just let it go now? I know deep down it was right so that he can inform any of his partners of potential risk, but i still feel like it would be my fault if they actually got it - would they assume it was from me? I know there is no way to know where anyone gets HPV or when they got it - but im just nervous as heck.

 has anyone had a similar experience? or, can anyone just affirm that it's out of my hands now and that my only obligation was to let him know of the possible exposure? thanks!!!

I am new at all of this as well. and who is to say that you did not get it from him? like i have learned here, it could lay dormant for a long time or the nurse that called me had said it could be a recent exposure , one just never knows. Just like Rick said his was possibly dormant for 20 years.

You know just like Herpes 2.. 1 out of 4-5 people have it. Some have symptoms and outbreaks and others have it and nothing happens.

 I believe for me with what everything in my life and health siuation has brought about is the fact that sex can be a very dangerous game so many play. With having come to a relationship with God, I have truly seen what true intimacy and love is all about. You know I just wish at times that I would have lived as the bible says.. no sex until after marriage. It is a hard temptation. However, casual sex can rob one of so much, especially for a female, our hearts and emotions get way involved much more so than  a guy. Also, the risk of sexual diseases is rampant. Thank goodness it is just HPV that we are facing and not Aids. Things could be alot worse.

 I have a 15 year old daughter and I worry about her all the time and her sexuality.

 I think by you emailing him, it helped clear your consience somewhat. However, the hard part is one does not know when and from whom it came from.  I have the thoughts at times when I suspect that my boyfriend may have been messing around that I just want to call that woman and confront her and say, by the way have  you and so and so been intimate in the last year? Well if so, did he happen to tell you that he has been sleeping with me unprotected, and I have Herpes 2 (which I found out 5 months into dating him) he was tested and was negative) I had gotten an email from a past partner.. ) an has he told you that now I am having a procedure done due to Mild dysplasia and exposure to HPV.  I struggle with that thought but tell myself that deep down would it really do any good? I guess it boils down to what my motive would be- would it be to "get back at  him" or would it truly be that I care for the health of another woman and would hope that she would get tested for possible exposure and be able to see what she needed to do. As for the Herpes 2, once you have it.. you have it forever..

For me, I had come to the decison of sexual purity about 5-6 weeks ago before any of this diagnois happened.  I just realized that living life my way and such was not getting me anywhere and that I needed to learn to treasure  my body and not give of it so freely anymore in my life. I had a strong conviction from the Lord in regards to all of that.

I have a burning passion within me to help young women especially teen girls. I have always said if there is any way that the Lord could use my brokeness to help prevent  one woman going through in life what I have been through it would be so worth it.  I need to start with my own daugher first.  

I have quite a testiomony.. but don't we all? Have a great day and hang in there and I hope the folks that are not so new here and more experienced will chime in.

NYGal

Your perspective was great, thank you. I agree with you - i cannot believe some of the actions I took last year that almost definitely were the cause to my current situation. I keep wanting to punch myself over it - how was I SO stupid? I hope those feelings go away soon though, cause honestly, now that we have this "situation" what is the point in dwelling on the when/how/why? We should just accept it and move on with treatment, etc as necessary. Easier said than done though...hmmmph.The cool thing is that we have this great message board full of people who have felt and thought the same things we are currently feeling and thinking. We are not alone.I have started thinking about all the women in the world who are infected and don't even know it - and who don't keep up with routine exams. In some ways I am glad I found out because at least now I am in the driver's seat. I might not be able to change the past, but I can make new decisions and hopefully positively affect my future. 

 Hugs! 

You are so welcome

You wrote:

In some ways I am glad I found out because at least now I am in the driver's seat. I might not be able to change the past, but I can make new decisions and hopefully positively affect my future. 

 Hugs! 

You are so right there, we are in the drivers seat and I wish all women would realize that. and we cannot change the pat, but we can make new decisons and positively affect our futures!

You have an awesome day!

This car is mine is is high gear and looking forward to a better life!

Hugs back

NYGAL 

I spoke to a Pathologist just two days ago. He said the question isn't who has HPV or what strain they have because it has been around for so long, lies dormant, and it is estimated that as many as 90% of the adult population may have one form or another since there are 100 strains. The real question science is working on is why in the past ten years has it started causing cancers, first in women in the cervix area and now in men. While I believe it is admirable to let past partners know. The reality is, there is no testing for men and most forms of std. transmitted hpv shows up as genital warts. Then a person will know!

I've been married over 20 years. My wife does not have HPV, she's been tested. I've never found out if my tonsil cancer is from hpv because my dr's have said it doesn't matter. But if it is, then that means it has been dormant in my body for 25 years.

People should not view HPV as they do other more obvious and well known std's.

PS: I agree with both of your assessments of monogomy w/ no sex until marriage. Hopefully my 18 year old daughter concurs. It just isn't worth it these days.

Rick