New to boards....just started chemo & radiation

Have hope & courage.  Your attitude regading treatment and your belief that it will "kill the beast" are an important part of your recovery.

I was diagnosed with Stage III rectal cancer last August. Complete shock since no one in my entire family ever had any kind of cancer.  I made it through 4 weeks of daily Xeloda and radiation with no real challenges except fatigue. Then severe diarrhea hit & I had to be hospitalized for 6 days to be rehydrated.  Octreotide injections were the only thing that worked to stop the problem. Completed radiation for total of 28 treatments.

Waited & healed 2 months until low anterior resection surgery in January.  The wonderful news following my pre-op exam was that the chemo-radiation had destroyed the tumor!!  Pathology report showed negative margins, negative for ovaries & fallopian tubes, and only 1 out of 18 positive lymph nodes. So right now...I'm CANCER-FREE.

I'll have an ileostomy for 8-9 months, but I look at that as temporary inconvenience for permanent improvement...like a highway construction detour.

Due to the positive lymph node finding, I'm doing a 6-month XELOX preventive treatment regimen.  But I believe with all my heart that I'm going to come through all of this a SURVIVOR!!!  In fact, I'm going to do volunteer counseling with children & teenagers who are being treated for cancer at my hospital.  I want to give back the care that has been given to me by family, friends, & the terrific staff at the PSU Medical Center.

You are so very lucky to have a wonderfully supportive family around you. I'm not a very religious person, but one thing I do each morning on the way to work is say prayers of thanks for all of the good things in my life.  It reminds me I have so many great blessings.  And it gives me courage to meet the challenges necessary to be well again.

My prayers will now include you too.  You may e-mail me privately if you wish.

 

On 3/9/2008 KMomIA wrote:

Whew, I made it a whole week.  Fatigue set in on day 3.  My head feels foggy, my hands and feet itch a bit but I use Cortisone cream for that.  The constipation is taking turns with the mild diarrhea.  My mouth has mild sores and it helps to rinse with warm salt water every few hours.  I take anti-nausea meds and Extra Strength Tylenol when necessary.  I think the dizziness affects me most of all.  I got some Ambien from my family doc a month or so ago and use that a night or two a week. They started me on 5-FU Chemo last Monday ( now I know what the FU stands for...) with the fanny pack the same time I started my radiation treatment.  The pack came off on Friday.  Tomorrow I am to start the IMRT radiation therapy for 5-6 weeks then I will have the chemo again the last 4 days.  Its hard to know what to eat.  Constipation....diarrhea.....what to eat!  Trying to stay dehydrated is a pain with mostly water because lemonade hurts my mouth, Pepsi has no flavor whatsoever.  What I think works the best at least twice a day is an Instant Breakfast.  My husband is cooking whatever I need.  Boy, a good cup of coffee sounds great right about now, but the heat would be disastrous.  I am just taking this one day at a time.  I cannot dwell on what is going to happen.  Everyone is dealing with this damn cancer the best they can.  I must say I hate it.  Can I say that?  I hate it so much that I am going to beat this monster. I know it will get much harder before I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but bear with me, folks, and hang in there with my complaints and fowl moods that I may display.  Some of these posts may not be edited properly!   Have a great Sunday, everyone.  The sun is shining, and spring is coming soon.  Thank goodness for that. 

KMomIA

 

Dear KMom

Just a note to say that I am thinking of you -- and hope you are doing well.  Keep fighting -- and mark each day off the calendar -- you are one day closer to the finish line. I'm impressed by the way you are handling symptoms from the treatment.  My motto is "no cell left behind."  And it is fine to hate this disease.

Spring has arrived in the old North State -- and hope springs eternal in each daffodil I see (and we have tons of them!).

Best, stjohn

 Kmomia: Everyone has given you excellent advice. I was given a death sentence but here I am 4 years later.Yes we were all scared, fearful, and soooo sick and so much pain. That is a given in most cancers. I put down my recovery to a strong mind , great support and never believing I would die, although the doctor kept telling my husband we were being unrealistic. HA what do they know about the human spirit and the will to survive.  One great technique is to meditate 30 minutes a day. Seeing yourself alive 15 years from now and being healthy.  Imagine killing off all those nasty cancer cells and replacing them with new ones.  Pretend you are on "Extreme Makeover" and you are giving yourself a total makeover by eliminating the cancer. This helps a lot. Healthy diet, and lots of laughter. reject the fear. Takes practice. All the best.MMS

On 3/3/2008 KMomIA wrote:

Hi everyone,

I just started chemo and radiation today for Stage II rectal cancer.  I am 50 years old and have a wonderful husband who has been my rock since being diagnosed.  Well, before, too, but he has really stepped up this time, bless his heart.

Truly, I am scared to death.  I know that I will be feeling like total crap soon and I will want to give up.  The docs and the research I have done say this is highly curable, but I am still freaked out.  I suppose what I am looking for is emotional support at this point.  My husband is wonderful, and I wouldn't kick him outa bed for eating crackers, but I would really appreciate some words of wisdom or something uplifting to keep me going through all of this.  I am such a chicken.  I appear brave to my friends and co-workers, but most nights I can't sleep and grab a cold washcloth and lots of kleenex and cry my eyes out.  My kids say to "stay strong, mom" and I repeat that to myself many times a day.

Thanks for letting me vent.  I would appreciate some positive feedback.

 

Oh my goodness, you all have been so supportive and realistic as well..  Today is a good day.  I never really understood what that meant until I was diagnosed with cancer.  How true it is.  The onc doc said the tumor is 25% reduced after 3 weeks of radiation and the first four of those days I had the 5FU.  Not sure if that is good or not, and by my calculations, I will need 9 more weeks of radiation to clear this up.  But the doc said it doesn't work that way.  He has been very honest with me, and very thorough from the beginning.  I am pleased with the docs so far, and the RN's who are a wealth of information and don't seem to mind at all the stupid questions I seem to ask.  The radiation techs are also great.  They turn down the lights and plug in whichever cd I happen to bring with me each day.  I even got them to like Jonny Lang.  :)   I am in a bit of pain in the radiation site, but it is expected.  I have suppositories that I call butt bullets, I use Aquaphor like its going out of style, and the squeeze water bottle is my new best friend.  My hair started falling out a little bit yesterday and I was freaking.  The onc RN said it probably wont all come out.  She has been right so far on everything.  I hope she is right about this.  I did go to a local wig shop and pick out some hair just in case.  I also have to see my colorectal surgeon next week so he can assess the situation so far.  Maybe recommend a colostomy if necessary, or say to stick with what I am doing, including more radiation, I dont know yet.  He says the cure rate is 90% and the onc doc says 70%.  I am stickin with the surgeon's belief.  The hospital has some dvd's and classes on Reiku and meditation.  I am seriously going to invest some time on these subjects.  It cannot hurt.  So many of you sent private responses and I am so grateful for that.  I may take you up on that but for now, I think I will just do it this way because sitting at the computer for any length of time gets to hurtin' if ya know what I mean.  Thanks again, everyone, for helping me try to maintain a positive attitude and know in my heart and soul that I can beat this.  Some days it is really hard, but I have to stay determined.  You all have been so wonderful sharing your stories of courage and determination, I am so impressed, and happy that I found this website.  Bless you all so very much!

KMomIA

Hey KMomIA, You'll get through this. It won't be pleasant but you'll get through it. If you can't sleep at night, I couldn't, books on tape or cd helped me. I also listened to a cd called 'Wilderness' and one called 'Decades' by Narada. They were very relaxing and I listened in my bed with my eyes closed and even if I didn't sleep I felt rested in the morning. I also spent a  lot of time in prayer. I got through it and so will you. The kids will never know you're not as strong as you seem.   Charlotte

On 3/3/2008 KMomIA wrote:

Hi everyone,

I just started chemo and radiation today for Stage II rectal cancer.  I am 50 years old and have a wonderful husband who has been my rock since being diagnosed.  Well, before, too, but he has really stepped up this time, bless his heart.

Truly, I am scared to death.  I know that I will be feeling like total crap soon and I will want to give up.  The docs and the research I have done say this is highly curable, but I am still freaked out.  I suppose what I am looking for is emotional support at this point.  My husband is wonderful, and I wouldn't kick him outa bed for eating crackers, but I would really appreciate some words of wisdom or something uplifting to keep me going through all of this.  I am such a chicken.  I appear brave to my friends and co-workers, but most nights I can't sleep and grab a cold washcloth and lots of kleenex and cry my eyes out.  My kids say to "stay strong, mom" and I repeat that to myself many times a day.

Thanks for letting me vent.  I would appreciate some positive feedback.

I am also new to this site- I am a 48 yo women who was just diagnosed about a month ago with anal cancer. This is so crazy, as I just finished a bout of chemo and double mastectomies for breast cancer, which was diagnosed in may 06. The anal cancer is a second primary site, and NOT a metastisis form the other cancer, which is a good thing. I am also afraid, although I have a strong personality and can be "matter of fact" about things. Yesterday I was at the hospital having a port a cath inserted, and I cried quite a bit, not because of pain but because being there made this all real and I am feeling fine now, but know in a couple of weeks, probably won't be. I try to take things each day, sometimes hour to hour. While I am feeling well, I have been tasking advantages of as much as I can, so if I am sick later, I will have had chinese food 100 times already. Cancer itself is such a scary word, and the way I made it thru the first diagnosis, was that it was detected early, and I did everything I could that was rec. to me to hopefully not have it ever return. I feel the same way about this. It was caught early(stage 1) has an excellent cure rate(85-90%) and IT SUCKS but it is what it is and I feel confident with my doctors and I also feel like I am doing all I can again, and I WILL BE OKAY. As long as the prognosis is positive, you can make it thru anything. I think about these poor people that have a bad prognosis, and still are being treated for any little bit of time they can get. Stay strong, think of us others that have made it, and will again. I am also on Prozac, which I have taken for years, however is that something you would consider for 6 mos(short term) to get thru this time? It might help. Good luck, DEB

Hi Deb,

Thank you for your message.  I will be thinking of you as you go thru all of this.  I am wondering what the docs recommend for you as far as treatment.  My docs had me do 5 weeks of radiation (IMRT) and chemo was the fanny pack the first 5 days and days 29-32.  How they figured that out is beyond me.  I got sores in my mouth from the first round of chemo, and lost about a third of my hair.  I had to stop the radiation last week with only 3 treatments to go because of burning and blistering.  I soak my whole pelvic area many times a day with Domeboro liquid and I use a ton of Aquafor.  It is so sore down there, but I notice it getting a tiny bit better each day.  Doc says to do the frog leg airing out as much as I can.  I am still so fatigued from the treatments that I am not working.  A co worker came by tonight with flowers and angel figurines and a gift certificate to Appleebee's from all at work.  I cried.  I knew they missed me, but it touched my heart so much, I could not help it.  I know  that I am not alone, even though I feel so desperate most days.  I just have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary and I will feel better soon. My husband cried with me earlier today when we were at the doctors office for a checkup.  I know physically I will heal in the pelvic area, but what made me break down was the notion that the treatments are not going to work and the tumor will still be there.  I really have to stop the negativity.  It is something that I struggle with each day.  I will get thru this, I know.  My colorectal surgeon said he wants to see me a month after all treatments are done, then another month to do a biopsy to see what, if any, is left of the tumor.  You have been thru so much already and I pray that you keep your strength.  Lets stay in touch and if you want my email, please let me know.  Bless you.  KMomIA

Thanks so much for your message- Please send me your email, I would love to be in touch. What state do you live in? Sounds like you and I have similar cases, although I know every one is different. I am a breast cancer survivor of 2 years and went thru a lot with that, but one thing I always did was keep my eye on the prize which was a favorable prognosis and getting thru little by little until I was done. It is hard not to be negative and scared that this cancer is in your body, and what if??? Well, what if a lot of things, and I am gearing up for a looong unpleasant bout with radiation but I have managed once before, which almost makes things a little easier, even though having to deal again, is miserable. I have good supports from my friends, family and work, and I feel lucky. 2 friends from downtown drove 1/2 an hour last night to deliver jelly beans(my favorite) kind, I was so touched. Stay strong, and take it hour by hour if you need to. peace