On 3/3/2008
cliffsqueen wrote:
Hello, this is my first post. First i want to say that my prayers are with all of you!! Next, i want to know how everyone deals with this situation. My husband is 40 yrs. Old, was diagnosed in 2003, had his right kidney removed. Was cleared, just had scans done every 6 months to watch the other kidney. Missed 1 set of scans due to insurance reasons and on the next set of scans, there was a large spot and several small spots on his kidney, and some spots on his spine, chest, and hip. He took sutent for about 7 months, scans done, another spot showed on his abdomin. So now he is on nexavar. I look at him everyday and i see him slowly slipping away from me. We have 3 children at home boys 7, 3, and 2. And he has a 18 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son, not living with us. Life is so hard, most days i dont want to open my eyes.. So i dont have to deal with everything.. How do you all do this??? Ps thanks for listening!
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can somewhat relate. My husband is 43 and has stage 4 esophageal cancer. He is not a candidate for surgery and chemo is our only option. It is tough. I know exactly how you feel. I watch my husband every day and I feel like he is being taken from me a little bit every day. Some days are hard and I cry at the drop of a hat. Some days are pure fear and panic. But some days are also us enjoying every moment that we have together. There are days that I feel that I am falling apart and I pray to God to be exactly what my husband needs me to be. We have 3 children also but ours are much older. Somtimes the only thing that you can do is take one day at a time and cherish all that you have. It is too hard to try to look into the future. Stay strong and find a good support system. Don't keep your feelings in.
I will pray for you and your husband. I am posting something below that I wrote not too long ago about what I am going thru . I think you will be able to relate
Somebody stop the world......
Somebody stop the world,
I want to go back.
I want to go back ,
Before cancer
Turned our world upside down.
I want to go back
this wasn't supposed to happen to us,
not to you .
I want to go back ,
To our carefree days
And future plans.
I want to go back
before doctors and chemo
and losing your hair
I want to go back,
When you were so strong
You seemed invincible
I want to go back,
When I didn't cry every day
for fear of losing you.
I want to go back ,
To where people didn't avoid me
Because they don't know what to say.
I want to go back ,
To when we still had forever
And weren't living on borrowed time.
I want to go back ,
To a point in my life
I wasn't so angry with God.
It wasn't that long ago,
Though it seems like forever
Somebody stop the world,
I want to go back…………………
Author
Robin