Mom's Cancer

My mom just passed away on Monday Feb. 25.   I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but when the time came, I wasn't ready...but I guess "who is?".  Anyway, yesterday was her cremation that's what she wanted, and I know this is only the beginning for me and my family to start missing her, crying, etc.......I am ok when I am busy but in the night that's when it really hits me, and I start thinking "did we do everything we had to do?" was there more we could of done?  was it her time or maybe we just didn't help her enough?  All these things, come to my mind and that's when I start getting upset.  

Why can't I remember only the good times instead of the last days of her suffering in the hospital?   Will that ever go away?   People tell me she's in a better place, but that's not helping me.....I feel like death is a punishment not a blessing.  This is our first close relative that passes away in my family so it's hurting like heck!

 thanks!

Maggie

On 3/4/2008 maggs09 wrote:

My mom just passed away on Monday Feb. 25.   I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but when the time came, I wasn't ready...but I guess "who is?".  Anyway, yesterday was her cremation that's what she wanted, and I know this is only the beginning for me and my family to start missing her, crying, etc.......I am ok when I am busy but in the night that's when it really hits me, and I start thinking "did we do everything we had to do?" was there more we could of done?  was it her time or maybe we just didn't help her enough?  All these things, come to my mind and that's when I start getting upset.  

Why can't I remember only the good times instead of the last days of her suffering in the hospital?   Will that ever go away?   People tell me she's in a better place, but that's not helping me.....I feel like death is a punishment not a blessing.  This is our first close relative that passes away in my family so it's hurting like heck!

 thanks!

Maggie

 

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I can't even imagine how much you must be hurting. I wish I had the words to make you feel better and take away your pain>  People never know what to say in a situation like yours so they say the only thing that they can think of.  Stay strong and take heart knowing that you took the best care of your mother that you could. Don't second guess yourself , as hard as that may be.  Take care of yourself and your family and hold tight to one another to support each other through this difficult time.  God Bless you
Robin

My mom passed away on June 21, 2007 and i too even today think maybe there was more I could have done pushed the doctors more, but I know my mom would not want me to dwell on that and think it was somehow my fault. I will  tell you it does get a litlle easier with time. I do not cry on a daily basis but I have not reached the stage where when you think of your mom you think of the happy times. I still see her in the hospitl and I miss her so much as I am sure you do. If you need some one to talk too I am here as are others on this board. I still come back here after 9 months.

Sandi