Husband's Stomach Cancer

I just lost my husband to stomach cancer February 22.  Three years ago he was diagnosed with stage IV stomach cancer.  The fact that he survived three years (they said) was a miracle.  He fought so bravely to the very end.  I have lost both of my parents to cancer, but this is different.  I can't believe he is gone.  I cry constantly; I miss him.  The pain is palpable.  I was his caregiver and would do it again; he never complained even though he could not eat and lost over 80 lbs.  I just wish he could let me know that he is with God and happy.  My pain would be more bearable. 

Diane

Diane,

i am so sorry for your loss.  I pray that God will comfort you with the peace that only HE can give.

My son, too, has stomach cancer sdtage IV diagnosed mid December. I think it is a miracle he survved that long.. My son has lost over 80 lbs in the last 4 months.  Luckily for him he was over 250 lbs .. or he would be too thin..

What were your husband's symptoms before he passed?

Thank you and God bless you.

Jockey

On 3/5/2008 Jockey wrote:

Diane,

i am so sorry for your loss.  I pray that God will comfort you with the peace that only HE can give.

My son, too, has stomach cancer sdtage IV diagnosed mid December. I think it is a miracle he survved that long.. My son has lost over 80 lbs in the last 4 months.  Luckily for him he was over 250 lbs .. or he would be too thin..

What were your husband's symptoms before he passed?

Thank you and God bless you.

Jockey

Dear Jockey,

My husband's symptoms a few weeks before he passed were difficulty swallowing, stomach discomfort, nausea.  At the end he refused any food or water.  He was fed with a J tube for a few days, but I stopped the feeding tube.  He was semi-comatose and could respond to me with only with an attempted sound.  He fought to the very end.  When he was first diagnosed, his symptoms were difficulty swallowing - the food seemed to be stuck in his throat.  That was it.  No other symptoms.  He lived three years with stage IV.  It was a miracle.  I will pray for your son.  God Bless you.

 Diane

On 3/5/2008 Anniedips wrote:

I just lost my husband to stomach cancer February 22.  Three years ago he was diagnosed with stage IV stomach cancer.  The fact that he survived three years (they said) was a miracle.  He fought so bravely to the very end.  I have lost both of my parents to cancer, but this is different.  I can't believe he is gone.  I cry constantly; I miss him.  The pain is palpable.  I was his caregiver and would do it again; he never complained even though he could not eat and lost over 80 lbs.  I just wish he could let me know that he is with God and happy.  My pain would be more bearable. 

Diane

I can say that I understand what your going through as I just lost my wife Oct. 31, 2007 @ 11:25 PM. She fought an amazing fight so bravely.

The first thing I suggest if you are not already on it that you try Citalopram to calm yourself and help deal with your emotions.

You said you would feel better if you knew that your husband was "With God"? This must mean your a Bible reader?

I suggest you read Luke 7:12-16 first.

Grief is difficult and crying is good for you (Eccleciastes 3:1, 4) (Proverbs 17:17)

Speak to someone about your feelings with a true companion (Proverbs 17:17 also)

God will give you the power (2 Corinthians 4:7)

Sure Hope for the Dead (Luke 5:21, 28, 29) (Luke 23:43; John 3:16; 17:3; compare Psalm 37:29 and Mathew 5:5)

These are only a few scriptures that helping me cope with the loss of my wife, my best friend, my soul mate of 16 1/2 years. But the pain, sorry & tears seem to never end.

Warmest Regards,

Mark Anthony 

Mark Anthony,

Thank you for your kind words and those specific verses in the Bible.  I don't read it as much as I should and right now, I am prayed out.  Not angry with God just so mentally tired.  But I will start reading those verses.

I am sorry for the loss of your wife.  The most difficult part is that they are gone from us physically.  My husband and I were together for 26 years - we even worked together. 

You sound like a very strong man with a good spiritual foundation.  I believe my husband endured his stomach cancer as a journey to bring him closer to the Lord.  We prayed alot and it brought him comfort even when he could no longer repeat the words. 

Thank you again and warm thoughts to you and your family.

P.S.  My father was named Anthony and that is my son's name - I love it.

Diane

On 3/30/2008 Anniedips wrote:

Mark Anthony,

Thank you for your kind words and those specific verses in the Bible.  I don't read it as much as I should and right now, I am prayed out.  Not angry with God just so mentally tired.  But I will start reading those verses.

I am sorry for the loss of your wife.  The most difficult part is that they are gone from us physically.  My husband and I were together for 26 years - we even worked together. 

You sound like a very strong man with a good spiritual foundation.  I believe my husband endured his stomach cancer as a journey to bring him closer to the Lord.  We prayed alot and it brought him comfort even when he could no longer repeat the words. 

Thank you again and warm thoughts to you and your family.

P.S.  My father was named Anthony and that is my son's name - I love it.

Diane

Diane,

No problem at all. I would like some feedback on if you feel the scripures apply.

As for prayed out? I do understand. Actually I will admit myself that I HAVE been angry at God at times. Angry that I had "hope" for my dearest wife. Hope that we would die together or live forever together.

I KNOW the bible quite well but I'm still human. We all have that sinful tendency to blame SOMEONE for our pain & anger. God seems to be one of the main resources for this.

I know that there is no reason to be angry with God. 

And prayers seemed to not really work for my wife. but then I had to thin about how much pain she was in. How guilty she felt about putting me through the whole ordeal even though "she" did not put me through anything! "Circumstances befall us all" and that's what happened.

I'm babbling. Sorry.

I do hope that the scriptures will help.

Me a strong spiritual man? Yes & No. In this situation I have realized just how far my faith can be tested!

I have no family that cares about me. I am going this whole ordeal alone sodaspeak.

Thank you for your kind words. 

Mark Anthony 

Mark Anthony,

I have read the scriptures you recommended.  I can't really say that I feel better (my pain is still so great) but they were very inspirating and so appropriate.  I also love the 23rd Psalm - "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" - notice it doesn't say we stay in that shadow only through it to something so wonderful ("for you are with me"). 

Today is six weeks since my Mike died and it is only getting harder.   The void created by his not being here is very palpable, he was such a presence - funny, intelligent, handsome, kind.  Hope you are doing somewhat better.  I am sure it must be difficult for you without a support system.  This message board is a good outlet I have found.  So many people are going what we went through - such hope, so many fears. 

Good thoughts and God's blessings on you.

Diane