My Daughter

I'm new to this type of thing (messages) but wanted to find out if anyone has dealt with not eating anything other than getting supplement food thru an I.V.

My daughter, age 55 was diagnosed in August with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer and in the liver. . Went thru a clinical trial at Stanford but didn't do well and they cancelled her out. Since then, she does not eat and we had to have her in the hospital to help regulate her pain. Now, she is home and the pain is better but she won't eat! I feel she just want to die but I want to help her if I can. Any suggestions?

Unfortunately this is a part of the disease and one of the end stages of the process.  Love every moment of your time together and discuss this with her.  You can try to make her drinks with supplements to keep her strong if she is willing.  Eating food may not occur, but drinking is something she will still need and ask for.  She will probably require a straw from now on.  The last week of my mothers life she would only drink and stopped eating.  God Bless you as I know this is the most challenging time and the one where talking is most important. Don't wait

 

 

Thank you for the quick reply. I think I realize this is about the end but at times she seems so coherant but she doesn't seem to want to talk about her disease. How do I approach her to get her to talke about the end. Or, do I just let it be and enjoy each day with her and not worry whether she talks to me or not?

My Mother died March 7th, 2008.  In the beginning we talked about the cancer and made all the plans.  Then we just focused on trying to enjoy what time we had left.  As she got sicker and wouldn't eat I just focused on keeping her as pain free and as comfortable as possible.  Rent a funny movie and hang out with some popcorn for you and a popsicle for her and enjoy the laughter!!  We just got tired of thinking about the sad.  Take her mind off the sad!!

Your right! We need to take her mind off of her pain, etc. I will work on that this week. She needs to laugh a bit! And I do to! Thanks for your help!

Is she home on hospice or other type of home care?  They may be helpful in keeping her comfortable and out of pain.  I would not force the talking issue and just take your cues from her.

We have her at home with Visiting Nurses Assoc. once a week to change her Pic dressing and take blood, otherwise no help at this time. I have been staying with her at night because her husband has a very demanding job and needs his rest. He is at wits end and I know she would rather have him near her but he and I feel it's better that he has some rest so he can work. I don't think we need Hospice right now but will be soon. Thank you for your advice on talking to her - I know you are right so will wait for her to give me some clues. Thanks again

My father went an entire month without eating. We were able to get him  to eat some shakes and/or drink Ensure. I really think the Ensure helped keep some nutrients in him. Some days he drank up to 3 a day but towards the end we were able to get him to drink about one a day. The shakes were basically Ensure with either ice cream or sherbert. If nothing else we all had fun experimenting with them - it's actually a find memory. My dad's favorite was black cherry ice cream with chocolate Ensure. Another one he liked was vanilla Ensure and orange sherbert.

It was hard for us not to watch him eat so like the others have said focus on doing others things. He was very alert up to three days before he died (12/06) and from what I've seen of others it's not abnormal.

 I wish the very best for you and your daughter, and pray that God gives you both the strength you need in the days ahead.

 

On 3/13/2008 CarolJan wrote:

I'm new to this type of thing (messages) but wanted to find out if anyone has dealt with not eating anything other than getting supplement food thru an I.V.

My daughter, age 55 was diagnosed in August with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer and in the liver. . Went thru a clinical trial at Stanford but didn't do well and they cancelled her out. Since then, she does not eat and we had to have her in the hospital to help regulate her pain. Now, she is home and the pain is better but she won't eat! I feel she just want to die but I want to help her if I can. Any suggestions?

yes i have had to deal not eating and drinking, best thing I have found is Enshake, which is a powder to mix with fresh milk, you can add ice cream etc to these, my husband is also stage 4 with liver mets diagnosed in oct 06, started chemo but following severe reaction had to stop, keeping on top of him foodwise has been trying to say the least, but small meals plus 2 supplements over the day, boosted by pieces of chocolate helped with weight, i find it works beter by not making an issue of food/drink, just slipping it in during the day, not nescessarily at mealtimes

also omeprazol tabs have helped with the feeling of nausea and boosted appetite......good luck

 

It is very hard to make that call to hospice-it seems so final.  We had hospice come the day after Thanksgiving, which turned out to be the last day that my husband  worked.  Please think about calling them asap.  At least you will have everything in place.  They will keep your daughter from pain and they will be a great support to you and the family.  They will get you equipment and things to make it easier.  It is better to be prepared and to do it early. They were wonderful to my husband and to our entire family.  We couldn't have done it so well without them.

Good luck.

Bonni