Dad

Another sleepless night. My father was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic Cancer in February, and since then I have been in a fog. He is shrinking before our eyes, and it is so hard to watch. It is so hard to "Go on" when I know he can't. He has been so brave and strong, and it might sound weird that a child says this about a parent, but I am so proud of him. His diagnosis came out of the blue and went from a stomach bug, to a bladder infection to this. This cancer is horrible, in that there were no symptoms till it was too late. We have been blessed as a family to never had to go through anything like this before. He started Chemo Monday, and had few side effects, which is good, and is in little or no pain. He is so weak, and not eating much, which is scary to all of us. I guess it may be a weird question, but how do we do this? I feel so helpless and selfish, as it is him who is really suffering. The night is the worst for me, when the house is quiet and I close my eyes. The reality of the situation hits, and here I am. A lot of the stories are so similar, so sad.

My Mom has pancreatic cancer as well. Her Doctors give her a, "bag of nutrients at night". She has a port and we hook her up at night. It seems to have helped curb the weight loss. She still has to eat though so that her mind doesnt tell the body to shut down the stomach. I know quite well what you are feeling. I'm sorry.

 

 

On 3/19/2008 lisazl wrote:

Another sleepless night. My father was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic Cancer in February, and since then I have been in a fog. He is shrinking before our eyes, and it is so hard to watch. It is so hard to "Go on" when I know he can't. He has been so brave and strong, and it might sound weird that a child says this about a parent, but I am so proud of him. His diagnosis came out of the blue and went from a stomach bug, to a bladder infection to this. This cancer is horrible, in that there were no symptoms till it was too late. We have been blessed as a family to never had to go through anything like this before. He started Chemo Monday, and had few side effects, which is good, and is in little or no pain. He is so weak, and not eating much, which is scary to all of us. I guess it may be a weird question, but how do we do this? I feel so helpless and selfish, as it is him who is really suffering. The night is the worst for me, when the house is quiet and I close my eyes. The reality of the situation hits, and here I am. A lot of the stories are so similar, so sad.

You are such a positive and supportive person.  I know it can be difficult to watch a loved one experience pain and suffering right before your eyes.  The important thing is to stay on top of what the doctors recommend, get your father to appointments, keep talking to your dad about what hurts, how he's feeling, record what he's eating, record his bowel movements etc.  Document his behaviours.  This is important info for the doctors.  Keep a journal, I did and it helped me remember info.  Your father loves you and appreciates everything you have done.  Take care, stay strong,

Eriko 

 

 

On 3/19/2008 lisazl wrote:

Another sleepless night. My father was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic Cancer in February, and since then I have been in a fog. He is shrinking before our eyes, and it is so hard to watch. It is so hard to "Go on" when I know he can't. He has been so brave and strong, and it might sound weird that a child says this about a parent, but I am so proud of him. His diagnosis came out of the blue and went from a stomach bug, to a bladder infection to this. This cancer is horrible, in that there were no symptoms till it was too late. We have been blessed as a family to never had to go through anything like this before. He started Chemo Monday, and had few side effects, which is good, and is in little or no pain. He is so weak, and not eating much, which is scary to all of us. I guess it may be a weird question, but how do we do this? I feel so helpless and selfish, as it is him who is really suffering. The night is the worst for me, when the house is quiet and I close my eyes. The reality of the situation hits, and here I am. A lot of the stories are so similar, so sad.

You are such a positive and supportive person.  I know it can be difficult to watch a loved one experience pain and suffering right before your eyes.  The important thing is to stay on top of what the doctors recommend, get your father to appointments, keep talking to your dad about what hurts, how he's feeling, record what he's eating, record his bowel movements etc.  Document his behaviours.  This is important info for the doctors.  Keep a journal, I did and it helped me remember info.  Your father loves you and appreciates everything you have done.  Take care, stay strong,

Eriko 

 

 

On 3/19/2008 Eriko wrote:

 

On 3/19/2008 lisazl wrote:

Another sleepless night. My father was diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic Cancer in February, and since then I have been in a fog. He is shrinking before our eyes, and it is so hard to watch. It is so hard to "Go on" when I know he can't. He has been so brave and strong, and it might sound weird that a child says this about a parent, but I am so proud of him. His diagnosis came out of the blue and went from a stomach bug, to a bladder infection to this. This cancer is horrible, in that there were no symptoms till it was too late. We have been blessed as a family to never had to go through anything like this before. He started Chemo Monday, and had few side effects, which is good, and is in little or no pain. He is so weak, and not eating much, which is scary to all of us. I guess it may be a weird question, but how do we do this? I feel so helpless and selfish, as it is him who is really suffering. The night is the worst for me, when the house is quiet and I close my eyes. The reality of the situation hits, and here I am. A lot of the stories are so similar, so sad.

You are such a positive and supportive person.  I know it can be difficult to watch a loved one experience pain and suffering right before your eyes.  The important thing is to stay on top of what the doctors recommend, get your father to appointments, keep talking to your dad about what hurts, how he's feeling, record what he's eating, record his bowel movements etc.  Document his behaviours.  This is important info for the doctors.  Keep a journal, I did and it helped me remember info.  Your father loves you and appreciates everything you have done.  Take care, stay strong,

Eriko 

 

When you are in the middle of it all, often it seems like no hope. But as long as there is  life there is hope. It is so overwhelming at times, and unfortunately some drs lean to the doom and gloom side and because PC has such horrible statistics it is hard to keep going. You must keep hope for yourself and your dad. Cherish the time you have with him.

Do as much research as you can-sometimes that is hard too because of all the negative statistics. But there is good news too. People do survive this giant! My husband was diagnosed last April with stage 4. He responded remarkebly well,at one point Gemzar quit working so he went to 5-FU but is now  off chemo and back to work full time. It is an up and down thing,sometimes even in one day.

But hang in and don't give up hope.

Jan

 

Thank you, it is nice to hear positive stories. Dad goes in today for another stent replacement (2nd time this week) so we are hoping that this one will take and the can figure out why it keeps leaking. He also is having trouble swallowing and we are not sure if this is some sort of allergy or just part of the disease. My sister said the felling in his throat did get better as the day wore on. Today is the 2 year anniversary of my grandfather's (my dad's dad) death, who died at 92. We always assumed Dad would too. He's in a fighting spirit though, so that is good.