We Had No Idea Until Yesterday

Yesterday my grandfather had to be rushed to the emergency room. They got the test results back and he has pancreatic cancer, which cannot be removed because it already spread. He's almost 90 years old, and I'm also extremely close to him because he is my legal gardian (I'm 16)

I'm at my friend's house now because I'm not allowed to visit the hospital without my parent, who happens to be in the hospital, so I got to get it straightened out. I was wondering if any of you have support or simular problems...

-Elizabeth M.

You are very young to go through this with your grandfather.

This isn't going to be easy for you or him. Most hospitals have cancer support groups; you should look into one. If your against them for yourself, going to some might still help you learn things for him. How to help him cope, what kind of things to expect if he's going to undergo chemo.

If you are enrolled in regular high school, you should make your counselor/teachers aware of his illness. This way if you need "exceptions" for assignments or tests or anything, you've mentioned it ahead of time.

Whatever happens, always remember that none of this is your fault. Pancreatic cancer is very asymptomatic, you can have it a very long time and have no obvious "symptoms".  Most of the time no one see's it coming; and them BAM!!

Support your grandfather as best you can, and cherish your time with him.Just don't forget to find some type of support group that can help support you.  My guess is most of your friends won't understand what your going through.

You are very young to go through this with your grandfather.

This isn't going to be easy for you or him. Most hospitals have cancer support groups; you should look into one. If your against them for yourself, going to some might still help you learn things for him. How to help him cope, what kind of things to expect if he's going to undergo chemo.

If you are enrolled in regular high school, you should make your counselor/teachers aware of his illness. This way if you need "exceptions" for assignments or tests or anything, you've mentioned it ahead of time.

Whatever happens, always remember that none of this is your fault. Pancreatic cancer is very asymptomatic, you can have it a very long time and have no obvious "symptoms".  Most of the time no one see's it coming; and them BAM!!

Support your grandfather as best you can, and cherish your time with him.Just don't forget to find some type of support group that can help support you.  My guess is most of your friends won't understand what your going through.

On 3/21/2008 sexyhockeystar wrote:

Yesterday my grandfather had to be rushed to the emergency room. They got the test results back and he has pancreatic cancer, which cannot be removed because it already spread. He's almost 90 years old, and I'm also extremely close to him because he is my legal gardian (I'm 16)

I'm at my friend's house now because I'm not allowed to visit the hospital without my parent, who happens to be in the hospital, so I got to get it straightened out. I was wondering if any of you have support or simular problems...

-Elizabeth M.

Hi Hocky Star Elizabeth.

I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather.  How long will he be in the hospital?  I agree with an earlier post about seeking help from the pastorial care at the hospital.  Or find the patient advocate in the hospital.  It would seem to me that with help from these people you may get in to visit with your grandfather without parent in tow.

 My mom has stage 4 lung cancer and my neice is just out of high school.  She is having a hard time dealing with grandma's cancer.  And her friends really don't understand her pain.  They are busy with their own lives and I do not blame them, but she needs them now.  We family members of course are offering her our support, but the support of a peer would be helpful for her.

Please  Elizabeth, find someone to talk to...  A support group would be good.  Keep posting here on Cancer Compass, there always seems to be someone here on the site with the right words to say....

My best wishes to you.

Serenity.