Please Help

First of all, you are NOT alone.  My husband will be 44 next month and was recently diagnosed with the same thing.  I also have a young son at home, he's 7.  My husband is at a stage 4, BUT all of our doctors say he has excellent chances of beating this.  Started with a lump in the side of his throat and CT scan indicated a necrotic lymph node.  We went to the David C. Pratt Cancer Center in St. Louis and met our surgeon on March 11th.  He had a biopsy on the 12th, diagnosis on the 13th and he was in for a tonsillectomy and neck dissection on the 14th.  Talk about a whirlwind!!!

I know how you feel.  The hard part is all the waiting.  But be strong.  Have faith.  The mind is VERY powerful and you just have to tell yourselves you can do it!  It's not going to be easy.  But it will all be ok. 

 Be there for each other.  Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family.  And don't be afraid to take some time alone for yourself as you go down this road.  Just take it one day, one hour at a time.

 Take care...

I am 5 weeks out of radiation for tonsil cancer of the left tonsil. If he is a non-smoker, then most likely the cancer was caused from the HPV virus. The HPV virus responds very well to treatments. I was given a 95% survival rate. The treatments were not fun and are a rough road to travel, but soooo many have traveled them succesfully, your husband will too. He'll have some rough days but with a loving family of support, he'll manage. Just understand that this type of cancer is very treatable and remember. There are more people living w/ cancer than dieing from it. Just make sure you are at the right place with the right doctors. That makes a big difference. I went to MD Anderson in Houston. Your drs can give you all the tips and things to expect and what to do. But if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask here. There are a lot of us that have all the experience, both as patients and caregivers. Five weeks later and I am almost 100% back except for taste bud and saliva gland damage from radiation. I can tell by your words how worried you are and that is normal, but try to settle down and understand that he can beat this. Of all the cancers out there, this is a painful one to deal with, but also a very curable one.

Once you know the game plan for treatments, let us know and we can tell you more what to expect and what to do.

Hang in there and God bless. It'll work out.

Rick

My hubbie was dx w/ stage 3b - lower throat primaty and neck lymph node. Our daughter was 2 at the time. One year after treatment he's in remission and life is better than it was before in many ways.

As the caregiver, you will be pulled in ways unimaginable, but I truly believe that none of us are given more than we can handle. I am a total control freak, type A person - well, before cancer anyway, and while my hubbie was sick I had to work ft since his insurance was w/ my job, raise our daughter and deal with all aspects of his care. I just let go during his treatment. You will be fine, so will your children and your hubbie. One day at a time, baby steps and soon you'll be on the other side of this.

 Like Rick mentioned, HPV may be the culprit. My hubbie was a non-smoker his whole life, too.

If you want to talk by phone or email, I am availible. Julie

like Rick said...this is a very treatable cancer.  I was devastated when we were told that my S.O's. cancer was stage IV.  His doc quickly reassured us that with this type of cancer the cure rate was the same even in this stage.  The treatment is tough - there is no getting around that. We learned quickly that you have to ask lots of questions and be proactive in your care.  We bought an accordian file to keep every insurance form, prescription record and handout together in one place.  When we had an emergency trip to the hospital I was able to take the file and I had all his info for the dr.'s & nurses in the ER.  We now can joke that getting through this is his new full time job!  I thank God every day that I have a flexible job that has allowed me be home when he needs me.  I am sure it will be challenging for you with small children, don't hesitate to accept help from family and friends.

This is great place to come to for support and information. Stay positive and find as many ways as you can to bring humor into your life!

~meesh

At 47 my husband (non-smoker) had stage 3 tonsil cancer (right tonsil), and our kids were ages 3 and 6, so I know what you're going through.  This is a very good message board with a ton of great advice.  I would go back and read all the postings.  There's a lot of information on different types of radiation, chemo, and other treatments.  We learned more from this message board than we did from any of the doctors ( and we saw a lot of doctors).   

I remember how it felt when my husband first got the news.  I couldn't eat and I was so stressed that I felt like sleeping for a few days. The first thing you need to do is remember your own health.  You're going to be the main caregiver for the next few months, so you're going to need to focus and keep eating.

You're gonna need to get a calendar to keep track of not only appointments and medications, but also keep track of his body weight everyday (that's what we did and it really helped).

Help from family and friends will come in handy, and with 2 babies and a 6 year old you're gonna need help.  When people offer to help, take them up on the offer.

...and remember that tonsil cancer is very cureable and treatable, and even more so if it's caused by HPV ( and if he's under the age of 50 and he's a non-smoker, then it sounds like HPV).

Hang in there, and if you ever need to talk or if there are any questions, we are always here to help.

- Amy

My husband just completed treatment for nasopharyngeal carcinoma, stage 4, 2 neck lymph involvement.  It was definitely a rough road.  I must tell you that the people on this website will  help you in unimaginable ways.  Stick with them and try all the suggestions.  YOu just never know which one will work!  It is so different for everyone and the more you know the better.

A wise person (NPC survivor) told me in the beginning that this whole thing in many ways was harder on the caregiver.  In my case, I am grateful that this was not the case.  But, I suspect it often is.  What was hardest for me was simply watching what was happening to my husband and not being able "to fix it."  As the problem solver in my household, I had to accept that this one wasn't within my power to fix.

After that, I learned to let a lot of things go.  I accepted, for the first time in my life, help from friends and neighbors.  Even now, they still help out with our nine year old daughter, take the trash cans to the curb, shoveled the snow, whatever needed to be done that I couldn't get to.  I even asked the guy next door to carry the water bottle cases in for me.  I just couldn't risk pulling out my back.

These things, as they come to you, you must pay attention to.  Most of all, take care of yourself.  Grab a book, soak in the tub, take a quick brisk walk with the dog/neighbor or whatever it takes to not "live cancer" for a little while.  It will rejuvanate you!

The road will get rough but your hubby and family unit will be okay in the end.

My best to you,

I'm about 6 months out of treatment for tonsillar cancer, left side, stage 4a. Your husband stands an excellent chance of beating this.

I found this board about halfway through my treatment and it is a Godsend. Go back through some of the posts here, you'll find all kinds of info you wont find anywhere else. If you dont find what you are looking for, just ask. Someone will have an answer for you.

Keep us posted on your husband's condition.

Best wishes,

Mike

My husband was diagnosed in January 2007 - stage 4 tonsil cancer; he had 33 radiation treatments with concurrent chemo treatment all at MD Anderson.  This was followed up with a neck dissection that proved to have no residual cancer cells.  While the treatment is extremely rough, his outcome has been great.  His spirit and zest for life is back.  Your husband will survive, there is light at the end of this treatment, and you need to keep looking to us, to family and to friends for that support.  While I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it has left me and my husband with a special appreciation for life and for eachother that I could not have imagined.  Hang in there -- this to will pass, one day at a time.