Mammogram 6/15/05 - Scared

Hi!

I've been here before (on the message board), but it was concerning the loss of my Momma this past February, in the Caregivers section. She had a radical mastectomy when she was 40. I just turned 36. Found a lump, and went to the doctor on Monday, and am having the mammogram Wednesday. Feeling really scared. Just kind-of needed to "talk" to someone. My brother-in-law is dying of adenocarcinoma - doesn't look like he has long left, and just don't want to burden the family with my doc's suspicions.

I'd be grateful for any response.

Thanks!

Scared, Dazed, and Confused
(Lori)

Hi Lori,
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now....I know how difficult this path is to travel...having been there myself. My own mother died of bowel cancer, but had suffered from multiple sclerosis for years, and in May 2004 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and am battling with it as I write. I can understand you not wanting to burden or offload your worries onto your family, as I tended to do the same, but when I finally did open up, the family were wonderful and supportive. My dad who I had feared telling after all he had gone through with his own incurable illness and loss of my mum was marvellous; I did not want to cause more anguish or worry for him, but when I told him this and why I had put off telling him, he told me he would have been upset at me for NOT telling him and that I had done the right thing. He wanted to be part of the process, whatever that meant...and like me, he prayed the tests would be wrong, but when they confirmed what deep inside we already knew....he was absolutely wonderful. Dad lives in England miles away, and I am in Canada far from my family, but I have felt their love cross the miles into my heart and it has given me courage and strength to be brave and keep on fighting. I just want to let you know my prayers and thoughts are with you too, and anytime you feel like writing, do so on this site if it helps you? I have met some lovely ladies on this site, who have been inspirational. We share and learn from each other. Take care Lori. Jane

Hi, Jane!

Thanks so much for writing. I found this site after my Momma died - she'd had breast cancer years ago, but then in 2002 she was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in her left lung; removed 2/3 of it, and in January found that it was back - both lungs, throughout the abdomen, behind her heart, and in her brain. My Dad lives 100 yards away, and I told him even before my husband - Daddy had known that this was a concern for me because of the risk factors - I was taught at a very early age that I had to do exams at least once monthly, etc.

He told me (and my husband said almost the exact same thing) that even if I lost a breast I was still a woman, to never forget that. He said Momma was never less than the perfect lady, regardless of whatever had to be done. I don't worry about that - heck, I had a hysterectomy at 24, no living children, and THAT was when I felt less than a woman. This is just a breast.

Anyway, thank you again for your response. Please write back. I need to go - my appointment is in 2 hours!

Always keep your faith. I'll be praying for you also.

Lori

Hi Lori,

I know how scared you must be feeling right now. My cancer was found in a routine mammogram ten years after my mother died of the disease and neither of us had the gene. I couldn't tell my children until after the biopsy because I wanted to be strong for them. I did find that having support from co-workers and even my customers (I work with the public) gave me a great deal of confidence in handling all that came next. The more people talked to me about their experiences with cancer, the stronger I became and the easier it was to go through treatment. Opening up to others really helped me. I pray that you will be getting good news.
Linda

Hi, Jane and Linda,

I haven't heard it myself, my husband got the messages off our answering machine remotely - we're staying with his parents - my brother-in-law just passed away (cancer, again) but he said that the message was "The mammogram turned out fine" and that "I'm good"!

Such a relief!

Please know that you are in my prayers. I hope to hear from you both soon. We live in NC and are leaving for Mass. about 4 a.m. Friday (my husband's brother was cremated and we had a memorial service here this p.m. and will have his funeral service and burial in Mass.) We'll be back Monday late or early Tuesday, so I'll check on you girls as soon as I'm awake enough!

Thank you both so much!
Lori

Hi rainybrain,

I know this is a scary time for you, but please go to Cancer Treatment Centers of America's hopsital in Tulsa. They are the most caring group of people I know. They treat the whole person.
I know because I had a bad report in Dec. 05 on my mammogram, and I really got the run around in my town. Do not delay any test.

I had stage three cancer and had the whole breast removed and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I have had chemo.and will be going into radiation soon.

You will have superb professionals taking care of you.

The Center Is a place of Hope.

Call them 888.816.5122

My prayers are with you.

Miss k