Wife Just Diagnosed

My wife of 30 years was diagnosed on 3/28/08 after endoscopy/biopsy due to abdominal pain. We are scheduled for pre-surgery consultation on 4/8/08. Needless to say, we are devastated and depressed, not sure what to expect.

Should we consult an Oncologist prior to surgery or after. Why would we seek a second opinion if a biopsy shows it is cancerous? Our HMO is Kaiser Permanente in So Calif. City of Hope hospital is near by us.

My wife is 57 and I am 58. We are so confused and lost. 

I'm sure you are just dizzy with all sorts of thoughts right now, but just try to think of only what needs to be done right now and stay in the present.

I always think it is a wise idea to get a second opinion. Sometimes, chemo is given for a short while before surgery is had. Don't make any big decisions without exploring all other options.

 You and your wife are in my prayers.

ladyboom

Yes, I agree with ladyboom.  You were wise coming to this site.  I wish I would have known about it when my journey began in October.  All I kept reading was discouraging prognosis, but after finding this site you hear more success stories.  Good luck with your journey.  I can attest that it's a difficult and very stressful journey, but we must ride the waves that come our way.

One suggestion I have is to get a 2nd opinion.  You need to feel very comfortable with your treatment plan and know what your options are.  We found that doctors don't tell you too much about syptoms because everyone is different and they don't want to scare you, but if you and your wife are the type of people that like to know all the facts, you should get them from your doctor.   We have found that out the hard way.

Also, make sure she starts on Ensure, Boost, or the Carnation (Very High Calorie) drinks early in the process.  I've had a terrible time having my husband drink them although he knows he should.  They really help with your weight and give you the protetin that your body needs for stamina.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post them because you will find that others have also had to deal with that same issue.

Best of luck to you and your wife. 

If you can, take her to City of Hope. My mother was there many years ago. MD Anderson in Houston is number one, but if that isn't doable. City of Hope is very very good. If they can't offer her much, then I'd try one of the Cancer Treatment Centers of America.

Good luck. Our hearts go out to you guys and God bless you all through this.

Rick