Things I Would've Done Differently-Some Advice

Friends,

My dad passed away about 9 days ago from this horrible disease. A few things I would've done differently:

1) Watch the decadron dosage my dad was on. This is what killed my dad. My dad was admitted to the hospital and the doc. put him on 16mg without doing a CT scan. Decadron isn't for everyone. This high dosage made my dad's legs very weak that he couldn't walk anymore. His immune system became so weak that he got pneumonia and TB. And this is what killed my dad.

2) Start prozac earlier. We saw that my dad was getting depressed and very emotional. So we started him on prozac, but it takes 4-6 weeks for the effects to show. By then it was too late.

3) Be cautious about what the doctors and nurses say/do. Always do your own research and always get 2nd opinions for everything, no matter how small it may be.

Peace to you all...

 Ranju

 

Ranju, Bless your heart. You are in so much pain. Please don't beat yourself up over the "what ifs" and the "if onlys". It won't change the out come. It won't bring your daddy back. Accept that you did the best that you could do and understand it was NEVER your call . God is in charge. There is nothing we can do to change His plan.

Your feelings are natural. It is part of the grieving process and it is a necessary part - it will help you to move on. Grieve as long anmd as hard as you can, but never look back and think that YOU could have changed anything.

It doens't matter how we lose our loved ones. I think we all question if we did all the right stuff. Who knows? But the fact that we do the best that we can do with the knowledge that we have - well that counts for something.

Your pain and the wound in your heart are raw. Take the time to allow it all to heal. It WILL heal. It may leave a lingering pain, but the pain will become less intense as time passes..

It's normal to feel anger , guilt, sadness. It's OK to have that grief. but never , never think that YOU could have changed the out come.

 My brother who is battling this monster ,and I are hoiding you up in prayer and support. Please do not stop posting. We are all here for you as you struggle with this new and intense pain. Unfortunatley that pain is the "glue that binds all of us". We will all be in this same place - sooner or later. There is NO CURE. There are only NEW treatments that may buy time, but ultimately the monster will get our loved ones - some sooner - some later. Its the nature of this insidious disease.

Eileen

My deepest sympathies to you on the passing of your father. I remember most of your posts and I know that you did all you possibly could in the face of such a tough situation. I think you are very brave and your desire to pass along information and advice now that there is nothing more to be done is very self-less of you. Perhaps you can soon distance yourself from the struggle that was your fathers disease and live instead with the positive memories you still hold of him. I don't know what it is like to loose a parent, or to loose some one to this disease, but I do know how it can turn your life inside out just to fight against it. Maybe you will continue to fight this disease in the hopes of finding a cure as a type of activist? What ever path you take forward, I hope you take time now to do something very positive and rewarding for yourself. All the best. Brandon.

Dear Ranju,

I'm so sorry... I read many of your posts, and we communicated a couple of months ago.  I KNOW that you did everything you could for you dad.  Believe me, you really did. Please try not to have the 'what ifs'. I try my best every day not to have them as well.  I was just told today that my mom's tumor kept growing with avastin... This horrible tumor would have done its thing... PLease do not beat your self up about the decadron.  Your dad may have felt alot worse without it.

Please dont let the chains of the "what ifs" drag you with them...

Love and peace to you.

 

-sasha