On 4/10/2008
CelerySisters wrote:
Hi,
I am writing because yesterday my 25 y.o. sister was told by her oncologist to "prepare for a cancer diagnosis." We are many states away from one another and all I want to do is fly out to be with her right now but I have a husband in law school and three children at home, so I have to wait another week before I can get out there. She is so afraid and has so many questions, but she was so overwhelmed by this news that she didn't ask any questions while she was in the office and isn't scheduled to go back until Monday.
She had a needle biospy done yesterday. I'm not sure of all the logistics of this (I have zero knowledge of cancer, we have no family members who have been touched by the disease thus far) so forgive my ignorance. In front of her, they put the specimen in some kind of solution and told her that if it floated, it meant that it was "fatty deposits/cysts." Well it sunk.
My question is how likely is it that it can still be a cyst? The oncologist did not give her a good vibe when he said, "Prepare for a cancer diagnosis." Words of knowledge or advice from anyone with experience with this would be greatly appreciated.
My sister is just so petrified. She has a 10 month old baby girl.
Thank you for listening.
Dear CelerySis,
Ah she's so young! I pray the diagnosis isn't cancer but the oncologist's words seem to indicate otherwise. So I will give some advice. If the diagnosis is cancer, then first, make sure your sister gets a second opinion and has a different lab look at the slides of her biopsy. Some women get more than 2 opinions. She should ALWAYS have someone go to appts with her. Two heads remember more than one and the other person should be an advocate for her if she's not feeling up to questioning the drs. Interview at least 2 oncologists and get their recommendatins for treatment. Go with the one she feels most comfortable with and whose treatment recommendations she agrees with. Vitally important to remember that she gets to choose her treatment. If it's possible where she is, going to a cancer center is a good idea--having a team of drs. (oncologist, radiation oncologist, gynocologist, dietician, surgeons) working together helps. If not, it's up to her to coordinate information btw drs. Don't assume they talk to each other!!!! VERY IMPORTANT: Have her get copies of every dr and lab report, bills, insurance explanation of benefits, etc. Keep them organized in a 3-ring binder. I did this and it's extremely helpful.
Get Dr. Susan Love's The Breast Book (most current edition) which is a wealth of information about types of cancer, treatments, reconstruction (except it's missing the latest reconstruction--microsurgery with DIEP flap). If your sister's diagnosis is inflammatory BC, she will want to move quickly with treatment. If not, then she has a bit more time to decide how she wants to proceed. Dr. Love's book doesn't really address complementary treatment so do some research on that. Diet is important--she should be eating an alkaline diet (again research on Web). Although insurance probably doesn't cover it, a visit with a dietician familiar with cancer patients is incredibly helpful (remember drs. typically get about 1 course in nutrition in med school so a nutritionist is much more knowledgable).
She will need someone to organize a group of family, friends, neighbors, etc. to help her during treatment. They can do laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, baby sitting, bring meals, whatever. Your sister will need to focus on herself (something very hard for a young mother to do but very very necessary!!) and put her energy into getting well.
I believe that cancer affects not just the body, but also involves the mind and spirit. Certainly there are studies out there that confirm there is a mind/body connection. An important book for me was Jean Shinoda-Bolen's Close to the Bone, Life threatening illness and the search for meaning. I read the updated 10th anniversary edition and found it so helpful even 2 years after my diagnosis.
As a sister you could also set up a CaringBridge website (free) for her so her friends & far-flung family can keep in touch. My husband did that for me and I wrote on the website (it became like a journal) so everyone would know what was going on. Reading the encouraging messages everyone send me was very uplifting. I printed out the messages and took them to the hospital with me (my "support group".)
A support group for young breast cancer patients would be very helpful for her if that's available in her community. She will also find support on this website. There are also several magazines I'd recommend: MAMM, Cure and Heal. MAMM is specifically about breast & gynecological cancers, Cure covers all cancers and Heal is for those past initial treatment.
If I can help with any more info please feel free to send me a private reply and I will get back to you quickly. My prayers and best wishes are with you both.