Saying Good Bye To My Mom

I am 26 and my mom was diagnosed with cancer on march 14 2008. The cancer is all over her bones and parts of her brain and liver but the doctors don’t know where the primary source of cancer is so chemo wont do no good. Also her hip was fractured because of the cancer and she had to have a hip surgery.  Well the surgery went well and she started radiation then she was discharged form the hospital to a rehab facility near my house. She was doing well until about a week ago on April 11 2008 she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t acting like her normal. She went back to the hospital and when I got to the hospital she looked so bad. That night I thought she was going to leave this world. She made it through the night and the following days the doctor told us she had an infection in her blood and her platlets are real low and they are worried about blood clotts. She hasn’t been talking or responding and I have a feeling the end is near and the doctor has told us that he doent think she will live past a month. I keep thinking today is the day or jump at everytime I get  a phone call while I am at work.  Last night I went to the hospital and just poured my heart out to her and prayed that god takes her out of her misery. I have a loving supportive family that has been there for me and my two sisters but I still feel like I am going to blow at any moment. I keep asking myself  how can I say bye to my mom? This has to be the hardest thing I have ever gone threw, seeing her laying there in so much pain knowing that she isnt going to see me get married or see my first child. She isnt going to see her grandson who is only 8 months which she adored with all her might grow up. My mom is the most loving person I know she went out of her way to make sure everyone around her was happy at all times. She loved me and my sister regardless of what we did. I keep asking everyone how do I say goddbye to my mom?

My mother also has cancer.  I was so upset when I found out that she had cancer.  Not my mom!!!  I love her so much and didn't want her to leave.  Now I have excepted it or at least dealing with it. My mother is worried about feeling pain and does not to leave her family.  I am more supportive of her and reassure her that we will do everything possible that she is not in any pain.  Have you talked to hospice?  I know that they will be included when my mother and our family needs them. Just try to be there as much as you can and tell her often that you love her.  Good-bye is a word that I would not say to her but instead "I will see you later." Talk to her about memories and surround her with family pictures.  Just hold her hand and be there!  I am so sorry that you are faced with your mother's illness and that you are so young!  I am sure that others can help you too.  You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Belinda

Thank you so much. Well hospice is getting involved now as i write this. But my mom is so doped on pain medication now majority of the time she is sleeping and when she is awake she doesnt really respond or say anything much. I am just just taking it one day at a time and pray and see her everyday and tell her that i love her. I just dont want to see her in pain anymore.

My Mom left her body on April 17, 2008. The day before my planned wedding. I am 32, but still a baby. It was difficult that day I saw her body laying there in her bed and it is still hard knowing I can not call her tonight. I have to be honest it is a horrible feeling. But, a week or so before my mom left, when I would talk to her, ( w/ no response from her at that time), I told her "everything will be ok, everything will be fine, And I know I will see you again. I believe that Momma." I told her the day before she passed. On Wednesday, I held her hand and said I'll see you again. When I left that day I looked at her, I'm not sure what I was thinking at that moment, but when I got in my car I prayed to God to take her now, do not let her suffer anymore. And that night he did just that. And I feel absolutely lost now. My wedding, we postponed two weeks before she passed. But, she got to plan with me, at least she saw what my center pieces were, the girls dresses, and so fourth. She never did get to see my dress. But we postponed it because I know she will be there in spirit to celebrate that day with me. Because she told me so. Take care. I hope you can find strength in your night tonight. Dani

Thank you so much. My mom passed on April 25th. She took her last breath in front of me. At first it was hard to believe but now i am learing to except it and live my life in her honor. It was a horrible feeling but also its a comfort to know she is not suffering anymore. I also prayed to god the days before she passed to take her out of her misery. I was missing her a great deal a few night ago and that same night i dreamt of her smiling at me. I woke up knowing she is in a better place.