How Can You Help Ease The Pain Of A Very Sore Tongue?

Hi,

My Father has colon cancer, secondary stomach and mets to the liver.  He was diagnosed in September so is now living on borrowed time.  He has had a stent inserted into his stomach to enable him to eat, this is now starting to get over grown with tumor at the top, so sometimes he vomits and sometimes the food stays down.  He had chemo in November/December but it didn't work for him.   He is now reasonably comfortable at home on a syringe driver , with so many medications(too many to name), he is still fighting to stay alive whatever , which I admire because we all deal with things in different ways.  He is just not ready to die just yet. 

I  live two hours away but am still going back home to see him every week and  take him out when possible .  He stills wants to eat but his main problem is his horrendous tongue, its red, like sandpaper, split, the mouth is full with ulcers.  He has been given some stuff for thrush in the mouth, sorry I can't remember the name, a mouth wash and something for the ulcers.  He told me today I can't eat or talk much because my tongue  just hurts so much. He goes to Hospice on a Friday and they are trying to help him.  Does anyone know of anything else we could try to help him feel more comfortable.?  It's such a shame , he has spent two weeks in hospital getting his pain relief right and now something else pops up its ugly head. 

Ever since he was diagnosed in September, each week or month something else has happened ,to stop him from enjoying some quality of life.

I feel my Father has not got long left to live but I would like to be able to take him out and he can at least say "I feel ok today".

I have to say I have appreciated the use of this board because I posted a message back in September because I was not coping well with my Fathers diagnosis but I have been given so much support from some lovely people who have themselves suffered either as the patient or the carer.

It's the most emotional journey I have ever been on and one which I don't wish to repeat in a hurry.

God bless to everyone who is struggling with this disgusting disease. Lets pray for some success stories please.

Gail

You can try a rinse that I have used for my son when he gets mouth ulcers.  It is 50%maalox and 50% liquid benadryl. Have him swish it around in his mouth and then swallow it.  It makes a tremendous difference for my son.  It is all over the counter and you don't have to have a perscription and neither medication should bother any thing else he may be taking.  Good luck.

Cindy

Hi Cindy,

Thank you for your reply, I will certainly look in to that what you have suggested.

Thanks for taking the time out to reply, much appreciated.

Gail

Ms. Cheryl, I am sorry to learn of the recent death of your husband.  I too lost my husband on February 22 to stomach cancer.  I am still grieving so much and miss him desperately.  Just wanted to send my condolences - it's so difficult, isn't it? 

Diane

yes it is..I thought it wasn't going to be so bad because he was in such a shape.. but it is still sad and greiving... I guess i'm selfish,... I jsut miss him so much... I am looking for a bereavment class to join in my area.. May have to start it myself... I live in the bootheel of MIssouri..You?

Ms C

Ms. Cheryl, I live in Rochester, New York and joined a bereavement group about two weeks after Mike died.  I does help to talk with other widows but truthfully, it has only gotten worse (the loneliness and missing him) rather than better.  Oh, I have a full life - I work part-time as a medical transcriptionist from home, have two grown children and four grandchildren (and two cats), but there is such a void.  Some days I don't want to even get up and face another day, but I guess everyone grieves differently.  The only thing that keeps me going is my faith and knowing that Mike and I will be reunited one day.  Until then....

Please keep in touch, it helps to talk it out.

Diane

Hi,

Thank you for the information you supplied to help my Dad's sore tongue. Sorry to hear you are going through the grieving process, it was kind of you to think of others even though you are suffering yourself.

My Dad is now bedridden.  It breaks my heart to see him this way.  I even had to change his underware the other day and held him while he cried his eyes out.   I must admit I don't know how much more my Mum can endure looking after him, she is nearly at breaking point.

It is so cruel, if I start crying I may never stop.

Hope you have lots of supportive friends around you at this time.

Anytime you need a rant I will be here for you too.  I find chatting on this board helps me, only wish my Mum could use it too.

Take care,

Gail x