Finally At Peace.........

My husband lost his battle with esophageal cancer on April 26th.  He had a vicious chemo treatment the previous Friday, and by Tuesday, he had so much blood in his urine it looked like a Beaujolais, his lungs were so wet he sounded like a coffee percolator and his vitals were way off.  By Friday night, he could no longer communicate and by Saturday evening, he finally stopped breathing and his heart gave up.  I had just finished combing his hair again, and I guess he felt neat enough to go.  

 He was mistreated by the medical system........no...not a long wait for cancer treatment, but delays by the gastrologist who refused to scope him for 6 months because his hemoglobin was ok, and then the hospital who delayed him for 5 months because of overbooking.

 When they found the cancer (at last) there was a rush to diagnosis, and then a meeting with the oncologist, a chemo class, a catscan and a chemo treatment in one day.  

NEVER EVER did they mention that this cancer often spreads to the peritoneum, and they should have done a laparoscopy to see if there was any cancer there before starting treatment.  

 In less than a year since the diagnosis, my sweetie lost over 140 lbs, and catcans revealed it was in his lungs, kidneys and possibly his brain because of temperament changes.

IF YOU EVER GET THIS DIAGNOSIS, INSIST ON THE LAPAROSCOPY.  IT WILL SAVE YOU THE CHEMO, RADIATION AND SURGERY IT TOOK THEM TO LOOK IN THE ABDOMEN, BECAUSE THAT IS THE DEATH SENTENCE.

ONE MORE QUESTION TO ASK IS WHY WOMEN WHO GET THIS SECONDARY CANCER AFTER OVARIAN CANCER HAVE A HIGHER SURVIVAL RATE THAN GASTRIC PATIENTS.  I FOUND 3 TREATMENTS THAT MIGHT HAVE STOPPED OR SLOWED HIS PERITONEAL CARCINOMATOSIS, BUT HIS ONCOLOGIST WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE COMMONLY DONE IN OTHER AREAS.  

I  found a triphase antibody that would have helped my hubby, and it is in wide use even in Russia, but only in clinical trials here in North America.  There is something wrong with the system. 

 I miss him so much.

I am so sorry about the loss of your dear husband.  Please accept my condolences.  I, too, lost my husband on February 22 of this year to stomach cancer.  He waged his battle for three years and fought like a warrior to the end.  I understand your loneliness - I miss him desperately.  There are days I don't even want to get up in the morning but then I think of how he fought for life and I go on.  I know we will meet again eternally, as will you and your husband, so until then...

God bless you and give you peace,

Diane, Mike's wife

I am so very sorry to hear your dear husband lost his battle to this awful disease. I can only imagine how you feel. Just keep on keeping on. Keep his memory alive. Talk to other's to keep his memory alive. Because that's what he left you with..... memories.

May the dear LORD hold you close to comfort you.   Marlene. From Lafayette, Indiana. 

So sorry about the lost of your husband.  I'm sure you miss him.  My husband is getting ready for his surgery, and they did tell him they would 'look around' before doing his surgery. (He has already had 6wks of chemo and radiation). Did your husband have surgery?                             

Joy

On 5/16/2008 JoyFL1947 wrote:

So sorry about the lost of your husband.  I'm sure you miss him.  My husband is getting ready for his surgery, and they did tell him they would 'look around' before doing his surgery. (He has already had 6wks of chemo and radiation). Did your husband have surgery?                             

Joy

Yes.  He had his Cisplatin and Ironoticam chemo treatments, his radiation and his surgery was on September 10th of last year.  They opened him up, explored the chest, then the abdomen, saw the peritoneal carcinomatosis (aka peritoneal seeding because the cancer is so tiny it's hard to see) and took a lymph node out of his chest to make him uncomfortable, and then closed him up and called me.  I don't know if I asked what the prognosis was, but he told me he would be lucky to last 3 months.  He told me he would be telling my hubby when he was awake enough to understand, and I got a call from my hubby that night asking me how I felt.  I told him upset, and he said "life goes on" which baffled me.  When I went to see him the next day, he couldn't understand why I was so upset, and I couldn't understand why he wasn't more upset.  I asked him how long they would be keeping him in hospital, and he said 3 weeks, and I told him "that really cuts into the time you have left", and he said how?  I told him to do the math, 3 weeks into 3 months is a big percentage, and he asked me where I got the 3 months........ it turns out the doctor just told him he was terminal, and based on conversations before surgery, he thought he had 2 to 5 years to live.  When the realization of 3 months hit, his heart started to race and palpitate, and all the monitors went off.........   Poor beggar....  and I broke my heart that I was the one who told him.  I ripped a new one off the surgeon when I saw him doing general rounds, and he was quite embarrassed, and went to the social worker for the cancer centre and asked her to tell me that from now on, when he wanted to see Richard, I was to leave the room.  I told her that this was not bloody likely, and he would have to act like a man and a doctor and put up with me.  I had another occasion to rip him a new one when he lied about something he had told us, and I repeated his words to us.  He doesn't like me, and neither does his oncologist, but I used to be a nurse and doctors don't scare me.  I told them they don't have to worry about having to deal with me personally....... if I get cancer again, I will put my head between my knees and kiss my rear end goodbye .......  I am sure I can fight the cancer myself without them trying to kill me with their chemicals and uncaring attitudes.

That was terrible about the way that doctor treated you and your husband.  I would be pissed too!!!  So they didn't get a chance to do the surgery where they remove the escophagus?  I was wondering how long it took?  They did tell us, if they show any cancer, when they opened him up, they would not do the surgery.

Joy