Study found that widows and their friends/family often bonded via the monthly checks
by FriendofAngela on Thu May 15, 2008 12:00 AM
Hello, I'm unfortunately no stranger to cancer (breast cancer) and when my friend Angela's husband was recently dx's w/ leukemia I urged her get involved on a message board where only those having experienced the illness could truly relate. She posted on the ALL board where there isn't much activity and hasn't rec'd a response. I don't want her to become disillusioned and give up on a message board that helped me immensely, so I'm reposting out here on the general leukemia board in the hopes that someone can give her some guidance. Please see her post i've pasted below and if anyone can offer any sort of advice on how she can get thru this tough situation (and what her husband might need the most from her), we'd be grateful. Thanks to everyone on the board and wishing you all the best!
My husband was recently diagnosed with ALL at the age of 32. He has been through his first round of chemo and is doing very well so far. He is tough, they caught it extremely early and I truly believe that he is going to get through this. In the meantime, I'm very worried about myself. I'm an emotional mess and every attempt I've made to try to find professional help has turned into a debacle of epic proportions.
I'm tired and angry that my life has been completely put on hold. I worry about him constantly and can't sleep. Is there anyone else out there that is going through this that can relate? My family and friends are very supportive (most of whom live far away), but if one more person tells me to be strong for him, I might have to strangle them. I'm just looking for any advice to help me get through this so I can give him what he needs to fight this disease.
by Elaine1027 on Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:00 AM
God bless you in your struggle. My parents both have leukemia. My father has AML, my mother CML. Those three little initials don't begin to cover what cancer costs. The person who has it has an internal battle, and those of us who are caregivers must fight as well.
I agree that telling you to be strong is ridiculous. There are days I am strong and other days I'm so mad I can't see straight. I have quit my job to care for my parents, and my brother's girlfriend has been a saint helping with them. I am blessed to have her, as are they. I pray ALL THE TIME! On bad days I cry and scream on the way to the hospital to see whoever is in there, on days when they have a good day, I am thankful. Let me tell you something. I tried the anti-depressants. My parents are still terminal. It did nothing to help that be more bearable. My mother is miserable, in pain, and suffering. Prayer is the only thing that has worked. Faith in God and my Lord Jesus is the only thing that seems to help me. I also try very hard to live my life with her so that I have no regrets. I put lotion on her and massage her, polish her nails so she remains "pretty", and tell her I love her as often as I can. I kiss that dear sweet face as much as possible, and I am allowing myself to feel however I feel. It's okay to be mad. It is okay to be sad. Life is NOT FAIR! No one said it would be, but still, I want it to.
Don't give up. Cry, scream, but don't forget to LOVE & LOVE & LOVE. It heals you as it comforts them. God bless you all! Elaine
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