Jaundiced And Tired

hey my hubby is in the final count down of stage 4colon cancer he became quite jaundiced but is not in pain because dr and hospice are keeping close tabs on pain meds  he is so very tired all the time but still wants to eat but only small amounts I just dont know what to expect next he has been like this for about 6 wks now  he was originally told a life expectancy of 6/8 mo in jan  i know no one can tell exactly and i am aware everyone is different but just want to know if anyelse out there can shed more light on how this disease will play out sometimes i think he is too tired to keep on and then he will feel better for a day or two  drs and hospice dont like to answer ? about end life symptoms but i think we are probably getting there .....help me to understand what to expect

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  You are in my prayers,  Can i ask if your husband had any type of chemo or surgery. MY husband was diagnosised in October of colon ca with liver mets and has had 2 colon surgerys so for one in oct and one in april. 

You are in my thoughts kim

yes he did try chemo i forget tech names of a couple they were given in
a combination of 2by iv and an oral called xeloda  had bad sides
and did not stop the cancer frm growing because of jaundicing bilirubin
was high hubby & DR decided together since chemo was not helping to
slow cancer it made no sense to continue[it about wiped him out w no
sign of benefits]i hate that so many are having to go through this my
prayers are with you also

I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through and unfortunately can relate all to well how extremely difficult it is.  I lost my Mom after  just less than a year's battle with colon cancer and now my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in February (Mom was only 63, Dad is 65!).

I googled hospice and found extremely helpful information.  Stuff you never want to read and experience but is so important to know what is going on.

My Mom was bedridded for almost two months before she passed.  First food stopped, then drinking.  We never forced, but always offered.  We used a soft sponge to keep her moth wet and chapstick as well for her lips.  She began to sleep more and then talking pretty much stopped.  It was extremely painful and hurtful to watch.  She had delusions of people not there as well as family members who had passed.  We had hospice in and medications helped Mom not be aware so much.  I spent as much time as possible with her, sleeping there almost every night and lying in bed with her during the day.  Her feet became cold, which is the first sign that bloodflow is not working.  Her output became very little as well.  She was cathed since she was bedridden.  I am happy she did not die alone, Dad was with her.  I happy she was free of pain and in heaven.  I miss her more each day and wish NO ONE ever had to experience this.  I still have nightmares, but I know my place was to be there for Mom.  Her brother couldn't handle it and did not come and see her... I get angry because it is certainly harder on the patient and important for them to have the love of family and friends.  Again I am sorry you must experience this.  Try to be strong and although your husabnd knows you are there and that you love him, keep telling him!  I will pray for you and your husband!  Again I am sorry you both must endure this.

hi,

i am really sorry that you are going through this.  this is hard for both your husband and your family. i hope you have support from your family because it really is tough and frightening to do this alone.  my mom passed on 3/10/07.  her situation was a bit different.  she was very tired and on her last days for quite a while, but continued to work (as a nurse) every day until she got hospitalized about 10 days before she passed.  she also was jaundiced and developed a pneumonia.  at that time she had liver and lung mets from colon cancer..the ct scan in the hospital showed "enumerous mets in the liver and lungs".  they had given her very strong antibiotics to kill an infection that they suspected.  those antibiotics knocked out her kidney function.  within 1 day...md said they couldn't do much for her.  she decided to go home.  her hope was shattered and i always remember the ride home....she knew she was going there to die.  what goes through a person's mind?  we got her home and hospice wouldn't start until the next day.  that night was her last night of concsiousness.  the next day, she had periods of agitation and semi consciousness...she ate two sips of chicken soup.  hospice came and we started to give her heavy meds.  one day later she was in a deep coma. she was in this coma for a day and half.  i have to say, we spoke with her and lay with her and hugged her and told her everything.  how good she was and how hard she fought for us.  when she was in the hospital, she started telling us all the things we needed to do...funeral arrangements etc.  we did everything and sat down with her...we told her we completed everything she wanted....that we had purchased a grave plot right next to her father...she woke up for a minute, cried....and then passed.  the positive thing about this illness is that it is generally not a painful death...just keeping them medicated heavily so they don't get anxious about difficutly breathing. for 3 days she her breathing was labored and became rapid and then rare...6-7 breaths per minute...her skin was clammy...she wasn't making any excretions at all...she lay still and peaceful...like she was sleeping...family came to see her and say their farewells.  the time at home was very meaningful to us...we got to say goodbye and when we were ready....we told her she could let go....and she did, she opened her eyes...furrowed her eyebrows and cried..then she took a few more breaths and passed.  i still can't believe it...it's not fair...i wish your family strength in this time....

thank you cookimouse for your caring thoughts i am so sorry about
your mom and you are right it is hard, hubby rarely gets out of bed now
except to eat a little usually once a day i do have a caring family but
they all have jobs and are trying very hard to spend as much time as
they can with their dad and still balance thier own families and
responsibilities sometimes you wonder who is the patient it is so hard
on everyone but at the same time we all want to be close to him and
each other the hospice nurse came today and said he still has a good
heartrate and his lungs are still clear this is good but why is he so
tired he cant even carry on a conversation with more than a few words
and is trying to keep everyone away because he feels so bad i am sure
he is withdrawing because he has always been such a people person sorry
for rambling but it just sounded like you understood where i was coming
from thanks

 

My Mom had such a strong heart too (physically and emotionally) and is why she lasted so long... but too was so tired... there were good and bad days, but the good weren't really good, you know what I mean.  It is so rough on the patient and also the caregiver too... I know the feeling of helplessness and then how you feel bad about feeling bad when you aren't the patient.  I am a childhood leukemia survivor too so I was the patient and a caregiver.  Don't doubt yourself... spend as much time as you can with him... the only thing I can say is you will never regret spending all the time you can in the room/bed with him, but you will regret it later if you feel you did not stay with him enough...this is time you can never get back and time that will be all too short.  Cancer is just horrible and it sucks that all of us are dealing with it one way or another.  I pray soon God gives us a cure... until then I hope we have the strength to get through.  Take Care!