10Mths Have Passed Since My Beautiful Mom Passed

 It's been 10mths and I still feel like I'm in a daze. Our nightmare started in april of 2005. First my Aunt (clse sister to my Mom)found out she had breast cancer. Two wks later my Mom (a healthy non-smoker) found out she had lung cancer. Miles away from each other living in diffrent countries, they were going through the same treatments. First surgery, chemo, radiation(for my aunt only), then remission in 2006 for both! Through it all they kept in touch everyday on the phone hours at  time. In late 2006 my Aunts cancer came back...she passed on jan. 19,2007. My Mom took it very, very hard. In May we found out my Mom's cancer came back too. My beautiful Mom fought hard. We  did everything humanly possible, anything that was available, best doctors, medicines,new treatments, I was like a maniac trying to find anything on the web..talking to her oncologists pushing them to find something...but towards the end, when i saw her suffering i was going crazy I just wanted to pick her up from that hospital bed and runaway with her...run far away...I know its sounds crazy but to see my precious Mom go though that...it was hard. One afternoon, on rare ocassion i was alone with my Mom..everyone had gone to cafeteria, I was holding my Mom's hand, I felt a squeeze...I told her i loved her and to go with her sister who was waiting for her. She squeezed my hand one last time.....at last her suffering was over..but mine will never end. My beautiful, precious Mom passed july 19 2007. Two sister's seperated by life...together again for eternity.I know I willse my Mom one day until then my suffering will stop... I love my Mom so much,,she was everything to me. I feel so alone, sure I have family but your Mom's love is unique...."oh Lord give me the strength I need"....

So many of us share in your sorrow.  I am so sorry that you too had to lose your Mother.  Eight months have passed since I lost my beautiful Mom to this horrible disease (stage IV sclc) and still I don't understand why she had to die this way?  

There are so many wonderful organizations out there that are trying to help save lives and help with the suffering.  I'm trying now to redirect my anger and efforts towards helping to fight against this disease.  We need standardized early detection programs, more research, less prejudice about lung cancer and more funding!  This is not just a smokers disease and is killing far too many people.  All patients deserve a fighting chance, regardless of what type of cancer they have and what stage they are in.  Each patient is someone special and loved dearly by their families and none of us can fathom being without them....

So please, we should all advocate for better cancer care while we are able to. The next life you save may be your own.  

Wishing you all one of those "good days" where the joy of the day is much bigger than the sorrow.

LostWithoutHer in California

 

 

I share your pain. The one year anniversary of my mom's passing is on June 18th.  Not a day has gone by that I don't think about her and miss her.  I've found that doing things she would of loved; remembering her great advice during times of contemplation, and "talking" to her brings me some comfort. I celebrated her birthday and, just a few days ago, got back from Germany. It was the first time her family had a family reunion. It was in the town that my mother's grandmother (whom my mom was very close to) lived in and that my mother was born.  It was very unexpected that I found out about this at the last minute.  I felt such a need to go, and prayed.  All the pieces fell into place and I was able to go. We went to the house her grandmother lived in and the factory her grandfather owned and toured it.  I remembered many of the stories that my mom had shared about her childhood there and could envision her.  Unbelievably, this was very healing for me.  I really believe that God has guided me to do the things I need to do to heal, and I'm more and more sensing that my mom is playing a role in this!  While the pain does not ease, and I know it will never go away, it does get more bearable.  On June 18, I will take the day off from work and go to thrift stores in search of treasures... this was something my mom loved doing.  I will have coffee and cake with the the coffee cups I saved that she and I used to sit and have coffee in the afternoon and talk (when I was there).  When I do these things that she and I did together, tears do stream, but at times a smile emerges and for a brief moment, I feel her comforting presence.  

God bless and hang in there ... hope this helps.

 

 i completety undersatand what everbodie is going through. my beuutiful mom passed on thursday the 29th of may, 2008 and laid to rest today at 4:00 pm a very hard thing to go through.

I lost my wonderful beautiful mom 8months ago to sclc.  She was dx on Aug. 11, 2006 - the day that changed my life forever.  She lived for 14 months.  She made it possible for me and the rest of our family to go on.  Never once did she feel sorry for herself - she accepted her cross graciously.  She lost her father to the same disease when he was her age.  Her strong faith is what got all of us through this dreadful and excruciatingly painful experience.

I was so close to her. Next to my husband she was the first person I told everything to.  (sometimes I told her before I told my husband!)  She was my cheerleader, my mentor, my disciplinarian, my adviser ...  Not an hour goes by with me not thinking about her.  It is so hard to believe that I will never see her or hear her words.  She knew everything about my kids and always wanted to know everything!  Even the crazy little nothings that no one else cares about.  When they do something cute or silly or wonderful I always tell her in my heart.  I have to believe that she is still with me and my family in our hearts and our minds - I feel her presence - I talk to her.  I wear her jewelry (which she loved) and this makes me feel closer somehow.  I know she is in heaven and she is the one much better off than the rest of us but that doesn't take away the emptiness and loneliness and painfulness that I feel at all times.

 I wish that there would be a support group for young women that lose their young mothers. 

My heart goes out to all of you that wrote in and responded with similar stories - I feel that we are so connected.

My faith has kept me going,

You are all in my prayers,

tracyg

June 21 will be one year since I lost my wonderful mom to lung cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her and wish she was still here with me..I have ran to the phone countless times to tell her something. I wish she was stillwith us. Sometimes I feel so all alone as I lost my dad 6 years ago to a heart attack. I have my husband and kids but I fell they really don't understand. I am trying to get on with my life because that is what my mom would want me to. It does get easier with time but you never forget.

 

Sandi