Dont Know Whats Next

My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer about 2 months ago, it has already spread to her lymph nodes and stomach. She is coughing up blood, has no energy, she is depressed, in pain, taking tarceva. She is an incredible woman. I have no idea how long she has. Her Dr isnt saying and she isnt asking. I dont want to ask in front of her. I lost my Dad in Aug 3 of 06 (COPD), my brother 2 days later (heart attack), August 07 my husband (we were seperated but great friends), then found a friend of 18 years dead of a heart attack in my RV this past December. Now my Mom. This is all just too much. I am numb, then pissed, then completely sad. I don't know what to do with all this.

Maggie

Hi Maggie

I'm sorry to hear about your mum and the tragedy you have had with others in your family.  

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in April 2007. He passed away in March this year. The doctors told him he only had three months to live but he stayed alive for 11 months.

Sometimes you feel like you can't cope with these things but you realise you have to, there is no other choice, you can't make them go away. I tried to be strong, to keep my dad company and talk about other things that were happening to get his mind off the cancer. He also likes listening to audio tape and the radio.

My advice is to spend as much time with your mum as you can and tell her that you love her.

regards
Jen

Maggie,

I'm so sorry to hear about all you have had, and continue to go through, in your life. You hang in there, dear. Your mother is counting on you. As I am sure you are aware of. 

I would suggest you doing as the last person that posted on here, has suggested for you to do. Did that make sense? I hope so.  I'm a cancer patient. I would want to know anything, and everything about my condition and the like, from my doctor. So, why not talk with Mother about your concerns and what you'd like to do about them. I'm sure you'll do the right thing. May God give you the strength that you'll need to get through all you have on your plate, now. Hugs.

Sincerley,

Rosie

Savannah, GA.

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 Jennifer,

I'm sorry for your great loss, dear. I wonder if you'd mind sharing with me, on what type of lung cancer it was, that your father died of, please? I have extended small cell lung cancer. I have since, Dec. of, 2007. I already had mets to my liver and bones. That is why I am asking you to share with me, on this topic, please. Thank you kindly.

My Very Best to You,

Rosie

So sorry for all of your losses. My mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March of 2006, she was given 6 to 12 months....she made it 14, she passed away on May 19, 2007.

I know where you are coming from, my mom didn't want to know how long the doctors thought she had but instead of asking her if she wanted to know they just blurted it out...very unprofessional to me.

She said it just made her sad to think she had been forced into hearing a time limit and would have rather not known at all.

I am sure if you go to the doctor with your mom they will be more than willing to tell you...but honey are you really sure you want to know????

I can understand why you would want to know...but somehow knowing just makes it worse and it's not going to change anything. Just because the doctor might tell you 6 months don't mean JACK!

My grandfather also died from lung cancer...the doctors gave him 6 months he lived over TWENTY FOUR months. My friend died of skin cancer she was given 12 months at the most, she lived over 17 months...so doctors can guess but they really don't know for sure, every case is different!

My mom said pi** on her doctor she wasn't following his timeline anyhow...and she didn't. They really didn't expect her to live long enough to even start chemo....she proved them wrong! The doctor told me months later after she was taking chemo that when he initially saw her in the hospital he expected her to die within two weeks....so what does that tell you? They are making their best educated guess!

Just spend time with your mom enjoy it! Please don't be like me and let the disease take over every aspect of you and your moms life! I did with my mom and I will always regret that!!

Best of luck to you and your mom and hon I hope she beats it!!

Sandy

My mom was diagnosed in April of 2006 and passed away in June of 2007. My mom never asked the doctor a timeline or at least not when I went to the doctor with her. I did ask the doctor privately and he told me but said if she got an infection it could be myuch quicker, which is apparently what happend in the hospital. My mom was a remarkabel woman as she did not let this diseasd dictate her life. She never talked about if jus tto say she had a doctors appointment or chemo treatment. My mom I believe was trying to protect us and not dwell on her condition. She always tried to act as everything was fine. I wishh I talked to her about it to ask if she was scared so I could comfort her. If the doctor does give you a timeline it is not always accurate and noone knows for sure just be with your mom and enjoy her company as much as you can.

Sandi