My Mom Just Diagnosed May 18Th

Metastatic, Adenocarcinoma.   My Mom  had a bad fall a month ago and another on the 18th of May...she couldnt get her legs to move, the message wasnt going  from the brain, I called the ambulance.  She spent almost 2weeks in hospital.  She has 2 tumours on the brain, one deep.  One on the spleen, one around the heart and one around the kidney(adrenal gland), and the largest on the right lung 12cm.

She has had 5 treatments of radiation on the brain, chemo is on the 24th.  She is such a wonderful person, its not fair.  Just like I'm guessing with anyone else here.  I have no support from  my brother or sister, I am moving my parents into my apt building in mid  July.

I know its stage 4 and kinda know what we're up against. 

Sorry to hear you have to deal with all this alone.  My wife had brain mets also, had radiation and took a fall a while back due to the effect radiation had on her balance and eyesight.  Now she has some pretty bad disk and back problems on top of everything else.  She is 53 and is falling apart.  You can be proud of yourself for being at your mother's side. 

Good luck and good patience.  You will need it!

 

On 6/9/2008 Misty123 wrote:

Metastatic, Adenocarcinoma.   My Mom  had a bad fall a month ago and another on the 18th of May...she couldnt get her legs to move, the message wasnt going  from the brain, I called the ambulance.  She spent almost 2weeks in hospital.  She has 2 tumours on the brain, one deep.  One on the spleen, one around the heart and one around the kidney(adrenal gland), and the largest on the right lung 12cm.

She has had 5 treatments of radiation on the brain, chemo is on the 24th.  She is such a wonderful person, its not fair.  Just like I'm guessing with anyone else here.  I have no support from  my brother or sister, I am moving my parents into my apt building in mid  July.

Sounds like you and your parents could benefit from the services of a local support group.  Ask your mom's oncologist if they can recommend a group that is actively involved in helping people cope.  You can also go to www.GoodSearch.com and search for groups in your area.  (I found GoodSearch's results to be more well-defined in the area of health care than Google or some of the other search engines, and you can designate a charitable organization to receive donations with every search you do.)

You could also contact your local hospital or Hospice and see if they have recommendations for local non-healthcare support groups.

Encourage your mom to be as active as she safely can be, including getting out to do things.  (Make sure to protect her from the sun!!!!!)  You might want to ask her oncologist to refer to a home health agency to come to the appt and check it for safety concerns, any additions that might be needed to make her activities of daily living easier.

Stage IV cancer is certainly heartbreaking and trying, but it can be managed well with assistance, and you and your dad can have many more wonderful times with your mom.  The biggest thing to remember is to take care of yourselves - broken caregivers are no good to those needing care.  Find reasons, make occasions to laugh!   And PLEASE do not hesitate to get assistance from home health or
Hospice, etc, if you and your dad need physical assistance in taking
care of her, or just need someone to stay with her while the one or both of you
take a break.

 

Thanks so much everyone.

Mum Wants To Donate Body To Science

 Ok all, Mum was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer on May 18th.  She has asked me to check out the donating  of the body for science..  Her wishes, I'm ok with that except they keep body for 1-3yrs then they cremate and send ashes...how do you go thru the death twice?  Any advice , help etc? 

When my dad died he donated his body to the U of Mn. At the time, my mom directed them to NOT contact her when they were finished, she did not want his ashes returned because she did not want to go through it twice. So there is that option.

I had a hard time grieving, and through loving discussions with my family, we changed our minds. This was about a year later. We were lucky in that they still had him. A couple of months later they returned his ashes to us and we had a small burial ceremony with our minister and immediate family. It was necessary for me, and made all the difference in the world to me, but was very hard on my brother.

My mother was just diagnosed stage 4 NSCLC (AC) with mets to adrenal glands and brain. She has long been set up to donate her body to the U as well, but has told us that we do not have to do that, if it is too hard on us to go through it twice.

I will honor my brother if he wants to skip it. But personally I would not be against it as long as we get her back.

The thing is that the med schools really really need these donations. It's an incredibly selfless act. If you go ahead with it, and decide to NOT have her ashes returned, they will not tell you where her eventual resting place is, at least that is how the U of Mn handled it back in the early 90s.  We were lucky in our timing.

Not an easy decision for anyone involved.

I'll be praying for you and your mom.

Liz

 

 

 

  

Great advice and thanks for the prayers.

I did get my Mum to a support group on Wednesday, wonderful place and she loved it. thanks.

Been a while since I've been here, Mum been in and out of hospital.  In July she was in ER 3days...each time she was stable,  sent home..finally on third day I said to docs..how bout bumping up her decadron (since they were weaning  her off of it)  Amazing!!  It worked.( kinda peed off I had to figure it out), every 12hrs we were rushing her to hospital) ..she was stable until a week ago Wednesday...she is still in hospital  and now  they want to send her to CCC...critacal care centre.  No one has really said too much to us..chemo cancelled etc.  And today they gave her insulin because sugar high..been told its from the decadron.  My Dad is so depressed, My Mum thinks the hospital has given up  and honestly I'm having a hard time keeping it all together.  She has a CT scan scheduled for August 6th. I dont know what to think, I made her so happy by moving her 2 doors down from me and she only got to enjoy it for a week  :(.  I want my Mum home.  They say shes well enuff to leave hospital but not without 24/7 care???