My Dad Has Cancer Help Me

i just found out my dad has liver cancer and that he has 7 to 10 months to live i'm not sure how to deal with the depression that i'm getting insde myself to deal , i'm going crazy as it seems i mean this will be the last thanksgiving ,christmas haloween with him man i'm not sure what i can do can any body help me with some support?!

that is very hard news to hear.  Stay on these boards and keep posting and people will reply.. it is a hard thing to go through. Love your Dad and let him love you.  He is going to go through trying times as will you.  DO you have anyone close to you that you can talk to when things get rough?  I will keep looking to see if you are ok... hang in there

I am so very sorry to hear about your father. I know how hard this is for you.  I myself have breast cancer and was diagnosed two years ago. Try and stay strong for him. He really needs you now. As a mom, it hurts to know that you are having to go through this.  Do you have any close family? Tell you dad just how much he means to you and try and enjoy the time that you left together. No can say that this is going to be easy, but your time together now will mean more than ever.  Stay optimistic - Miracles can happen!! If you ever need someone to listen or talk to, I am hear.  Please keep all of us informed. God Bless You!

 

On 7/2/2008 Chrissy m wrote:

that is very hard news to hear.  Stay on these boards and keep posting and people will reply.. it is a hard thing to go through. Love your Dad and let him love you.  He is going to go through trying times as will you.  DO you have anyone close to you that you can talk to when things get rough?  I will keep looking to see if you are ok... hang in there

yes i do have family but it is nice and helpful to hear other people that have gone through this as well that is what gives me the support thank you for the reply

Hey mate

Sorry to hear about your dad, my mum got cancer last year.

Check this place out, they have herbal cancer treatments that have not been available really until now. 

This is the pharmacy -

http://www.plurbis.com/content/pharmacy

This is the msg board for the pharmacy- 

http://meditation-mantra.org/alchemy/viewforum.php?f=4

 go here and tell them what type of cancer your dad has and they'll advise a regime of treatment.

Im trying some of their stuff now for my arthritis :-)  im sure they'll be able to help. I also have a thread going on eastern medicine and am including some very good meditative techniques and will be leading it up to self healing, so your dad might find it useful.

G ood luck and God Bless

Sorry to hear about your father.  My mother had small cell lung cancer metastacized to the liver.  She lived for a little over a year once it metastacized to the liver, and despite being sick for some of that last year, she was very thankful for every moment.  

There will be days where you might actually not think about your father's illness but then there will be days when you can't think about anything but.  As cliche as it is, take one day at a time.  There are no better words than those simple ones.  My advice would be to start a small notebook that has two sections. One section should be for upcoming appointments, questions for the doctors, and general notes about your dad's health and symptoms.  Even though I said to myself, I won't forget to ask the doctor that question, it is very hard to remember everything......especially for your father.  And you will want to keep track of his symptoms, medicines, etc, because something might jump out to you on a forum board that might help or make you think about something to try.  The other section of the notebook would be for you. To write notes about your thoughts or things you need to do to make the next year easier. 

Be sure and ask friends for help with things.  I was always too independent and had trouble asking for help until the very end and I wish I could go back and do things differently.  Even just going to a movie with a friend would have been wonderful at times even when things were getting so depressing.  Sometimes you must really force yourself to live your life.  Always try to think about what your father would be wanting you to do.......living your life as best you can and being a support to him.  You won't be able to do everything for him.....just accept that unfortunately.  But he will appreciate things like sending him a funny postcard or getting him a new book.  Going somewhere and taking lots of pictures to show him.   Be sure and fit in some overnight trips to the beach or wherever.  About six weeks before my mother died, I took her and my two kids to the beach for one night and it was probably one of the best nights of her life despite the pain she was having.  

Hang in there. 

LC 

I know what you must feel like,  My Dad had liver cancer and fought a great battle.  Tell him everything you need to say.  My Dad tried anyhting the doctors told him and i supported him with what ever he wanted.  The last two weeks of his life we spent so much time together.  He knew he was dying and was more concerned for my mom. me and my boys.  Tell him how much you love him and in the end give him permission to die,  My da fought until we all tod him it was alright to go. Remeber that it is emotionally painful for them to leave us.  You are in my prayers.  It gets harder when it is all over.I miss him more now It has been 2 and half months since he went to heaven. 

Hi,

Unfortunately, I know all too well what you're going through now.  My dad was diagnosed with hepatocellular carcinoma last October, and passed away on March 22 , only 5 months later.  At his diagnosis, the doctors told us he'd have about 6 months without any treatment, or 9 months with treatment.  Of course we were willing to try anything, but there weren't many options available to him.  Because he had numerous tumors on the liver, he was not a candidate for cyberknife surgery, RFA, or anything  else except Nexavar.  He tolerated it fairly well, and remained on it until the week before his death.  I remember having all the same thoughts you mentioned about this being the last birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. that I'd have to spend with him.  It was made even worse by the fact that my mom was killed in a car accident 6 months earlier, in March 2007, so in addition to knowing it was a season of "lasts" with my dad, it was also a season of "firsts" regarding my mom....first Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. without her.  Add to that the fact that my little brother passed away in 2004, and I've lost almost my entire family in 3 & 1/2 years.  I have one sister, and we've become incredibly close throughout this ordeal, despite the fact that we live 1500 miles apart. 

I think what has helped me deal with the depression and other feelings I still continue to have is knowing I did everything I could to try and help him.  I sold my home, quit my job, and moved 300 miles to live with my father and help him out after my mom died.  He had several other health problems before cancer, and was unable to live alone.  I had almost exactly 1 year to the day with him, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world.  We got to know each other as adults better than we ever had before, and I'm so thankful for the time that we had.  I guess if I can give any advice to you, it would be to spend as much time as possible with him and enjoy it while it lasts.  I can remember just staring at him when he wasn't looking, trying to burn the images into my memory so that I'd have them to hold onto after he was gone.  Prayer has helped me tremendously, as well. 

If I can answer any questions you might have, I'd be happy to help.  I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. 

I also know what you are going through.  I'm very sorry.  I hope the Dr.s are doing everything they can to make him comfortable.  Just try to enjoy what time you guys have.  Even the most simple things like having movie nights or family dinners seemed to make things easier on my end.  But my Dad just accepted he may die. He wanted to finish building his canoe.  That was what really kept him going.  Fortunately for him, he was able to get a living donor transplant that saved his life.  He wouldn't have made it without it.  Keep us posted and you and your family are in my thoughts.

Low Rider,

I'd like you and your father to keep something in mind; if any ONE person has ever beat the disease your father has, than he can beat it! too!!  He has to develop an honest, positive mental attitude and truly see himself in the future, disease-free.  Statistics do NOT apply to individuals, only groups of 30 or more.  What I'm saying is don't give up hope.  On that note, I recommend a book called "There's No Place Like Hope."  It's an easy read and is chock full of bite-sized recommendations and words to live by.   Literally to LIVE by.

Stay strong and make sure you're taking time off occasionally from the caregiver role in order to nurture your own well being.

Regards,

Donald A. W., author

This Time's a Charm; Lessons of a Four-Time Cancer Survivor