Mom given a short time to live

Hello,

I am new to this board.  My Mother was diagnosed with Liver cancer in october.  They think it is pancreatic because of the markers, but have not found it anywhere else in her body.  She was started on Gemzar and has done fantasticly well.  She even went to Italy a month ago!!

She was off the Chemo for 3 weeks as she came back from her trip and was ill (maybe caught something on the plane).  Her liver has now grown to twice its size and they say it is pressing on other organs.  She is unable to eat much and is living on liquid suplements.

We feared the worse and yest. got confirmation.  She was given 6 months to live.

I am realing.  BEfore the doc wouldnt give any time frame, being so positive and vague.  I realize this was best for my mother. she has been great feeling that miricles were possible.  She still doesnt know and we arent going to tell her.  Her docs agree with this.

I am in virginia and she is in florida.  I just came back from a great 2 week visit with her, but did see her feeling not so great.  She is frightened of the appetite problem.

Any support I can get and give here will be much appreciated.

I dont know what to expect and dont know when she will go from being well enuf to get out and see friends, etc (she has been very active she is  a young 70.) to being bed ridden.  We have a family vacation scheduled late july.

Thank you and God Bless all of you and your families.

What was the experimental drug used on him for colon cancer? How much and what duration.  If that didn't work, that is important to all of us who might need an experimental drug in the furure should colon cancer occur again.

Hi Arnod!

 Great news on your scan,I'm very happy for you.  I am pretty sure that one of the drugs was called Leucovorin but I am not positive. I will call him in the morning and get back to you. He had 5 treatments all 3 weeks apart through a port that lasted 2 to 3 hours. He was told that there was not really any good chemo drugs for stomach cancer so they were going to experiment with other drugs.

 

So sorry that you got this news.  Doctors give  a timeframe to get you ready but noone knows for sure what or when or if.  The only adivse i can give from someone who lost their Mom to this (she survived more that a year after the 6 months they originally gave her )is to love and enjoy her now.  Tell her everything you want to tell her and let her do the same with you if she wants.  You may not tell her but her body may give her signals at some point.  Then she will really need someone to talk to. I have no regrets as I promised my Mom when she did start to know that i would "see her gently into that good night" just as she saw me gently into the world when she gave birth to me.  May God bless you, your Mom and your family

 Hi Saucey  - I think it's spelled leuvocurin - something like that.  That is one of the chemos they gave me for colon cancer along with two others.  Dose you father have colon or stomach cancer?  Thanks for  the congrats!

Hi Arnold!

He has stomach cancer to the liver but they were experimenting with a drug for colon cancer.

Thank you so much for your support Chrissy.

I have healed a lot of old resentment I had for her and we have become so much closer.  she has said that she almost counts her cancer as a blessing to give her the time to really appreciate people, and she is so blessed by all the love and support she has received.

 What was your mother's primary cancer?

I really am vacilating on what to tell her.  i want her to know to do the things now that she really wants to do.  she has been a big time procrastinator and that hasnt changed.  But I also dont want her to create what she is told and feel worse than maybe she would thinking things are still going well.

What are some of the first signs of really ill health?

Hi Arnold! My Dad just brought all the information down.They gave my dad eloxatin and 5-fluorouracil and leucovorin(5-FU/LV). The book my dad gave me says that eloxatin is given for stage 3 colon cancer after surgery to remove tumors.I have the book if you want more info. He also said that for the first 2 treatments only,he was given docetaxel.

Camille,

 Your Mom is at a critical stage right now, in my experience.  She can react two ways from the "6-months to live" input.  She can agree with it and worry until it eventually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Or, she can go 180 degrees in the opposite direction.  She needs to live life to its fullest; eat healthy every meal, exercise daily (walk at least 30 minutes), and learn how to meditate.  I would also recommend she do some form of charity work when she feels up to it.  All of these things quell the mind of worry and replace those feelings with a gusto for living.  It's one thing for people to "say" that they have a positive attitude about living with cancer.  It's quite another, in the face of a death sentence, to actually "believe" that you'll be ok.

 I'm keeping positive thoughts and energy for you and your Mother.

Donald A. Wilhelm, author

This Time's a Charm; Lessons of a Four-Time Cancer Survivor

her primary cancer was bile duct and it was in liver too.  I also knew she was dying before she did.  I think for sometime she was scared to know so i took cues from her on how much to tell her. Then one day she just asked me if she was dying and i told her that i thought she was.  We had hospice care at home for her and social workers and nurses really gave me good support and advise and were there to help her emotionally on things that were sometimes too painful for me. If she starts to get worse check into that, i think i would have  had a breakdown without it.  speak to you soon.