Subject: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
Just finished yesterday ,third round of 5/23. 1.overall,i feel pretty good,my temperment is bad,i snap out on my wife,who doesn't deserve my abuse, i'm looking for an answer in that area. Most importantly,tho,is this:"we all knowvery shortly,the end is near,but we punish ourselves for a few precioudays,"maybe".i as one person,if i knew then what i know now,maybe would have not opted for surgery,etc.i don't know how to get out,now.got any valid ideas for me.i've contacted my local va,they have facility for me now,should i go ,and leave my family at ease???
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
On 7/6/2008 woztoo wrote: JUST FINISHED YESTERDAY ,THIRD ROUND OF 5/23. 1.OVERALL,I FEEL PRETTY GOOD,MY TEMPERMENT IS BAD,I SNAP OUT ON MY WIFE,WHO DOESN'T DESERVE MY ABUSE, I'M LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER IN THAT AREA. MOST IMPORTANTLY,THO,IS THIS:"WE ALL KNOWVERY SHORTLY,THE END IS NEAR,BUT WE PUNISH OURSELVES FOR A FEW PRECIOUDAYS,"MAYBE".I AS ONE PERSON,IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW,MAYBE WOULD HAVE NOT OPTED FOR SURGERY,ETC.I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT,NOW.GOT ANY VALID IDEAS FOR ME.I'VE CONTACTED MY LOCAL VA,THEY HAVE FACILITY FOR ME NOW,SHOULD I GO ,AND LEAVE MY FAMILY AT EASE???
I am so sorry you are experiencing the side effects in body and attitude, but it is very common. Are you ready for hospice care in your home? You and your family may find this more comforting then you going into a hospital setting. You say you are feeling well; is this accurate? You sound as though you are in a post-operative stage of recovery from surgery. This is always rough, especially if there is a lot of pain. Support, both emotionally and physically, is needed for you and your family. I hope your doctor or hospital's social worker can provide the answers and agencies you need. Bless you and your family. I know this is tough.
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
You sound like a wonderful man who is trying to think of and do the best for his family. Since you are still on Temodar, it doesn't sound to me like the doctors think you are ready for hospice which is when they stop trying to do "curative" treatments like chemo and radiation. But you deserve to do your best to try to treat this if that is your desire, and shouldn't think of going off to "a facility" without talking to your family. They probably are not thinking of you as a burden at all, It is natural for good hearted people to worry that they are a burden to their family, but given the choice between taking care of my husband or having him go to a home....well I want to be with him! Having been on the receiving end of attitude issues from my husband, I can tell you that it will probably help her to understand and cope if you explain often that you realize she doesn't deserve it, and to tell her you appreciate her often. You are fortunate that you realize your behavior may be a problem, some patients don't. This gives you an opportunity to talk about it with her when you are not feeling angry and irritable. My husband once thought that he was too much trouble and should give up because of what all this was doing to me. He was so wrong about this. I love him so much and want to take care of him and be with him as long as we can. Sometimes I have been frustrated or have felt unappreciated temporarily, but having him go away? Never! Take care of yourself.
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
Oh, Woztoo. I've read all of your posts over the several months I've been here. You've always been so upbeat. A real fighter, you are. Well, fighters get attitude sometimes. I know. I've always been kindhearted, keep my opinions to myself, very long fuse--but since this GBM I shoot right from the hip, often hurting the feelings of the people I love. Then I, too, feel guilty--even though I was just being 'truthful.' But my guess would be my family would rather have my snippy self here than anywhere else. Bet the same holds true for your people. Give yourself a break. We are battling a fierce enemy. Mary, 53, dx Sept 2007
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
Hey where's the guy we all love? Having a bad day huh? Well guess what? You are entitled. Yes your wife doesn't deserve the attitude, but that isn't the REAL you and she most likely knows rhat! Don't give up on us now. Talkjto her when you are in a better frame of mind. It seems you are a far cry from hospice. Big Hugs Eileen
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
On 7/6/2008 cozymel wrote: You sound like a wonderful man who is trying to think of and do the best for his family. Since you are still on Temodar, it doesn't sound to me like the doctors think you are ready for hospice which is when they stop trying to do "curative" treatments like chemo and radiation. But you deserve to do your best to try to treat this if that is your desire, and shouldn't think of going off to "a facility" without talking to your family. They probably are not thinking of you as a burden at all, It is natural for good hearted people to worry that they are a burden to their family, but given the choice between taking care of my husband or having him go to a home....well I want to be with him! Having been on the receiving end of attitude issues from my husband, I can tell you that it will probably help her to understand and cope if you explain often that you realize she doesn't deserve it, and to tell her you appreciate her often. You are fortunate that you realize your behavior may be a problem, some patients don't. This gives you an opportunity to talk about it with her when you are not feeling angry and irritable. My husband once thought that he was too much trouble and should give up because of what all this was doing to me. He was so wrong about this. I love him so much and want to take care of him and be with him as long as we can. Sometimes I have been frustrated or have felt unappreciated temporarily, but having him go away? Never! Take care of yourself.
Cozy - you are a sweet heart and I think you have your finger right on his pulse:):) Your words are mind, sensible and informed. Eileen
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
Woztoo, please don't be so hard on yourself! I'll bet you don't snap at your wife quite as often as you think you do. And even if you do, I'm sure she understands. We all snap at those we love. Heck, I snap and I'm not the one with the brain tumor. Perhaps the doctors can prescribe a little something for you that will take the edge off things and mellow you out a little bit. Have you discussed this with your doctors? You certainly aren't the first person to have this issue and I'd be willing to bet they can give you something to help out. Then you and your wife will both feel better! Eileen and Cozymel both said it better than I could. Hang in there! Please! Best wishes, Barb
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
On 7/6/2008 woztoo wrote: JUST FINISHED YESTERDAY ,THIRD ROUND OF 5/23. 1.OVERALL,I FEEL PRETTY GOOD,MY TEMPERMENT IS BAD,I SNAP OUT ON MY WIFE,WHO DOESN'T DESERVE MY ABUSE, I'M LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER IN THAT AREA. MOST IMPORTANTLY,THO,IS THIS:"WE ALL KNOWVERY SHORTLY,THE END IS NEAR,BUT WE PUNISH OURSELVES FOR A FEW PRECIOUDAYS,"MAYBE".I AS ONE PERSON,IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW,MAYBE WOULD HAVE NOT OPTED FOR SURGERY,ETC.I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT,NOW.GOT ANY VALID IDEAS FOR ME.I'VE CONTACTED MY LOCAL VA,THEY HAVE FACILITY FOR ME NOW,SHOULD I GO ,AND LEAVE MY FAMILY AT EASE???
Woztoo,You are still at the beginning of this. You will be starting your 4th round and from all of your posts in the past, you sound like you are doing very well. That is so promising. So you have an attitude now and then. That too is soooooo normal. We all snap at our spouses. Have you asked your doctor about it? Maybe some kind of medication for helping you control these feelings. (i know taking one more thing is not what we want to do, but it can really help) we all look forward to hearing from you and how well you are doing. It keeps us all going strong. Hang in there and talk this out with your dear wife. I'm sure she may give you a different outlook on this.God bless you and continue fighting ,Denise
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/06/2008
Just stay where you are. Your family needs you and certainly you need your family more then ever before. I think they say, For better or worse? Well, this might not be the best, but you are still hanging in there. Who knows? you might be here in 5-10 years from now. Enjoy yourself and your family, I am sure that your wife understands where you are comming from. Good luck
Subject: RE: treatments and prognosis
Date: 07/10/2008
On 7/6/2008 woztoo wrote: Just finished yesterday ,third round of 5/23. 1.overall,i feel pretty good,my temperment is bad,i snap out on my wife,who doesn't deserve my abuse, i'm looking for an answer in that area. Most importantly,tho,is this:"we all knowvery shortly,the end is near,but we punish ourselves for a few precioudays,"maybe".i as one person,if i knew then what i know now,maybe would have not opted for surgery,etc.i don't know how to get out,now.got any valid ideas for me.i've contacted my local va,they have facility for me now,should i go ,and leave my family at ease??? I feel your pain just like I feel my husband's. He is opting not to take his 3rd round of 5/23. But we are not giving up and he is not leaving me to mourn his loss before I have to. Stay with your wife. My husband sometimes gets very angry with me and I get angry with him - it is the stress, the tumor, the drugs. Look into other options. Use holistic methods, look into MD Anderson. They have a new clinical trial that sounds very good called Delta 24. Never give up on yourself. Know that there are others facing this challenge who feel like giving up but we can all help to keep each other going when this fear comes on. God Bless you and your family. May we all find peace in this struggle.
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