Sex After Treatment...

So my husband has SCC. It was detected from a few swollen lymph nodes in his neck and the primary was in his rt tonsil. He has a PEG and has completed one round (second round is this week) of chemo as well as half of his radiation treatments.

Ever since he got the feeding tube, besides the fact that he was first dealing with recovery of a tonsil removed and having cancer, he has felt "nasty". He has absolutely no desire to have sex. I am okay. With a 3 year old (that won't get out of our bed) and a nine month old (that i am still breastfeeding) we are pretty good at abstaining. but i was just curious, how long post treatments do you begin to gain your energy enough to even want to have sex, let alone do the deed.

I know this is just another sacrifice that comes to fighting this crap, but i was just curious how many packs of D batteries i need to get at wal mart. : )

But seriously, i am sure that most things will be better once he gets the tube out, but even at that point, will he have the energy??

perfect timing...my s.o. finished treatment April 22 - he was treated very aggressively due to an unknown primary (stage IV).  his treatment began in November 07 with 9 weeks of chemo followed by 35 rad treatments along with more chemo...needless to say he is still very weak and shaky...still has a PEG.  yesterday was our first attempt at sex..he is still to weak to actually have intercourse but it was a great start!  we were worried about how we would deal without having a sex life for so long but the reality was he was too sick to care and i was too involved with taking care of him and keeping our head above water that it was the last thing i was thinking about!!

he is anxious to be done with the PEG...he also says he doesn't feel very sexy with a tube hanging out of him as well as the port in his chest. 

as for how many batteries you will need...we went 8 months without sex...but if your husbands treatment is shorter you shouldn't have to buy them by the case at a wholesale club!

~meesh

My husband has BOT and underwent 2 rounds of chemo and 39 zaps. He also has the feeding tube and a port. He was and still is on morphine patch and 6 vicodin a day. He was scared IT didn't work any more because his own attempts in the shower had failed I can not remember how long we went without sex but I DO remember the first time he felt well enough to attempt it. When we were done, which was quicker than a quickie, he said it HURT and it felt like his first time. He was VERY relieved to know that it still worked though!

I wonder how many other people have looked at this post to see who will respond :-) lol

well as the paitent of radiation for the tonsil and chemo and male i will take a shot.

It has been 5 months over here with no sex and I am now 2 months out starting to think about it with a positive view .

while under Tx just getting through the days was a drag

feeding tube

pain killers

fatigue

and all the other wonderful side effects of this treatment

Now what I have found is the It is not really working as well as it had been before all this crap was put in my body, but it does work and there is a little "Blue Pill" that can help it work better.

But there is also a mental problem that I have had a little feeling of deficiency as a male  and not as whole or strong as I was to my wife before all this

 

john 

John, As a result of this barbaric treatment, my husband is 40 pounds lighter, has no muscle tone, a flabby butt, a tube sticking out of his stomach, a round disc shape (port) peeking through his chest skin, the back of his head is bald, and I could go on but all I see is the strongest, most courageous man who fought this fight for me and his kids. Granted, you won't be bar room brawling anytime soon but the knowledge, outlook, and perspective you gain from this adventure leaves you even more whole and stronger than before. Hang in there!!!

Ocean,

thank you for the positive post from the other side

it has really helped!

this treatment is so hard and long lasting side effects just stay there to add to the reminder of what it was like, that it is hard to see the positive from all this and there is positive's

I am stronger mentally,physically and Spiritually 

 

I WILL GET MY MOJO BACK  :-)

john