Any Suggestions..Please Help

On 6/13/2008 Marjorie 72 wrote:

I just can’t believe how your whole life can change in just a short time....

On May 1, 2008 my Mom was diagnosed with stage IV Breast Cancer. Two weeks later my Dad was diagnosed with stage IV Lung Cancer.

People should never have to hear such devastating news. I feel like my world has just fell apart. How does one deal with this type of challenge in life. Is this a test of faith??? For the first time in my life I do not know what to do. Feeling so confused…..

Mom has decided not to under go chemo. She is taking an Anti Hormone medicine (Amoxifin) Anyone familiar with this?

Dad is still going through testing. Tumor in the lungs is not clear as his lung has collapsed. CT Scan shows it has metastasised to his liver. He has so much symptoms…coughing, shortness of breath, chest pains, wheezing, and back pain. He has lost 13 LBS in 2 months. Dad is still working, even after we have asked him repeatedly to stop working. He knows something is wrong with him but refuses to believe that he has cancer.

I have only 1 brother. It seems he can not handle the mixed emotions and try’s to find answers…by drinking. All he does is drink everyday.

What do I do?? How do I handle this?? I have many friends who gives mortal support, but why do I still feel so ALONE…..

How does one handle so much at the same time?

 

It's been almost 1 month since my last post.

Alot has changed since then. Mom is doing well. So far so good. Dad has been diagnosed with NSCLC (Squamous cell carcinoma) with Numorous large mass in his liver. Possible mets to his bones as well, as his calcium level is very high. (Bone scan is today)

Dad is not working anymore, a fews days after my last post he became so weak. No appatite at all. He would go through the whole day without eating.

Just the past weak he has lost 8 lbs. He can barely get up from his bed now. He has pain right underneath his rib cage from the mets to his Liver. You can actually feel the tumor.

Onco advised the 1st line of treatment is Chemo, 2nd is Tarceva, 3rd is Hospice.

How can my Dad undergo chemo with his current condition. He is already very very weak. I'm afraid he will not be responsive with chemo and it may just expidite his life. Am I thinking right about chemo?

As for Tarceva, Dad's insurance does not cover the cost. Is this medicine for people with his current condition?

I feel the Onco is really not telling us what is the best thing to do. Just says the decision is ours to make.

If Dad does not take any treatment and Hospice is the answer I feel like we are giving up..

But at the same time I do not want him to suffer. I wish him to be pain free.

Do we try Tarceva...Chemo...or no treatment at all. 

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

~Marjorie

I am so sorry to hear that both of your parents are undergoing this disease at the same time. I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the lung last July. I was not in the weakened condition your father is, however, I had Tarceva first since that was my choice. It has it's side effects, but not nearlly the wipe out I am now getting with chemo since Tarceva became ineffective in April. I would at least try the Tarceva, it may give him some relief and slow the process.

 

On 7/9/2008 Marjorie 72 wrote:

On 6/13/2008 Marjorie 72 wrote:

I just can’t believe how your whole life can change in just a short time....

On May 1, 2008 my Mom was diagnosed with stage IV Breast Cancer. Two weeks later my Dad was diagnosed with stage IV Lung Cancer.

People should never have to hear such devastating news. I feel like my world has just fell apart. How does one deal with this type of challenge in life. Is this a test of faith??? For the first time in my life I do not know what to do. Feeling so confused…..

Mom has decided not to under go chemo. She is taking an Anti Hormone medicine (Amoxifin) Anyone familiar with this?

Dad is still going through testing. Tumor in the lungs is not clear as his lung has collapsed. CT Scan shows it has metastasised to his liver. He has so much symptoms…coughing, shortness of breath, chest pains, wheezing, and back pain. He has lost 13 LBS in 2 months. Dad is still working, even after we have asked him repeatedly to stop working. He knows something is wrong with him but refuses to believe that he has cancer.

I have only 1 brother. It seems he can not handle the mixed emotions and try’s to find answers…by drinking. All he does is drink everyday.

What do I do?? How do I handle this?? I have many friends who gives mortal support, but why do I still feel so ALONE…..

How does one handle so much at the same time?

 

It's been almost 1 month since my last post.

Alot has changed since then. Mom is doing well. So far so good. Dad has been diagnosed with NSCLC (Squamous cell carcinoma) with Numorous large mass in his liver. Possible mets to his bones as well, as his calcium level is very high. (Bone scan is today)

Dad is not working anymore, a fews days after my last post he became so weak. No appatite at all. He would go through the whole day without eating.

Just the past weak he has lost 8 lbs. He can barely get up from his bed now. He has pain right underneath his rib cage from the mets to his Liver. You can actually feel the tumor.

Onco advised the 1st line of treatment is Chemo, 2nd is Tarceva, 3rd is Hospice.

How can my Dad undergo chemo with his current condition. He is already very very weak. I'm afraid he will not be responsive with chemo and it may just expidite his life. Am I thinking right about chemo?

As for Tarceva, Dad's insurance does not cover the cost. Is this medicine for people with his current condition?

I feel the Onco is really not telling us what is the best thing to do. Just says the decision is ours to make.

If Dad does not take any treatment and Hospice is the answer I feel like we are giving up..

But at the same time I do not want him to suffer. I wish him to be pain free.

Do we try Tarceva...Chemo...or no treatment at all. 

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

~Marjorie

Hey,

I just wanted to say I am sorry for all of your pain and troubles.  My dad has NSCLC stage 3b.  He has did wonderfully with cisplatin/etopside and radiation twice a day.  It was rough for a while, but he was a fighter.  He is now on the tarceva to try and stabilize the disease.  It is expensive but I have seen sites on the web where you can get it a lot cheaper.  I have also read some books on how to "cure" your cancer.  Flaxseed oil and 1/2cup of cottage cheese supposedly works wonders for reducing tumor size.  (If your dad can eat it).  Resurgix and Ensure are also great for nutrition and Carnation instant breakfast.  I am not a doctor by any means, but since 2006 I have researched and lived with Adneocarcinoma 3b with my dad.  He is only 57.  He has also had Alimta and Taxotere.  These were not as effective and caused fluid build up.  He had to have fluid drawn off of his lung twice.  Now he has pneumonia.  I understand it is difficult, but I do know that nutrition really, really helps.  There are other treatments besides Tarceva that are probably cheaper.  I will look at more and try and respond soon. Hang in there.

oh my God both parents at one time, i am praying for you...

 my step dad died 3 years ago to lung cancer and his wife, my mom is in the icu with lung cancer...she is in real bad shape.

it is so hard to go through this, but i pray God gives you the streangth to get through it...God Bless

 

On 7/9/2008 Marjorie 72 wrote:

On 6/13/2008 Marjorie 72 wrote:

I just can’t believe how your whole life can change in just a short time....

On May 1, 2008 my Mom was diagnosed with stage IV Breast Cancer. Two weeks later my Dad was diagnosed with stage IV Lung Cancer.

People should never have to hear such devastating news. I feel like my world has just fell apart. How does one deal with this type of challenge in life. Is this a test of faith??? For the first time in my life I do not know what to do. Feeling so confused…..

Mom has decided not to under go chemo. She is taking an Anti Hormone medicine (Amoxifin) Anyone familiar with this?

Dad is still going through testing. Tumor in the lungs is not clear as his lung has collapsed. CT Scan shows it has metastasised to his liver. He has so much symptoms…coughing, shortness of breath, chest pains, wheezing, and back pain. He has lost 13 LBS in 2 months. Dad is still working, even after we have asked him repeatedly to stop working. He knows something is wrong with him but refuses to believe that he has cancer.

I have only 1 brother. It seems he can not handle the mixed emotions and try’s to find answers…by drinking. All he does is drink everyday.

What do I do?? How do I handle this?? I have many friends who gives mortal support, but why do I still feel so ALONE…..

How does one handle so much at the same time?

 

It's been almost 1 month since my last post.

Alot has changed since then. Mom is doing well. So far so good. Dad has been diagnosed with NSCLC (Squamous cell carcinoma) with Numorous large mass in his liver. Possible mets to his bones as well, as his calcium level is very high. (Bone scan is today)

Dad is not working anymore, a fews days after my last post he became so weak. No appatite at all. He would go through the whole day without eating.

Just the past weak he has lost 8 lbs. He can barely get up from his bed now. He has pain right underneath his rib cage from the mets to his Liver. You can actually feel the tumor.

Onco advised the 1st line of treatment is Chemo, 2nd is Tarceva, 3rd is Hospice.

How can my Dad undergo chemo with his current condition. He is already very very weak. I'm afraid he will not be responsive with chemo and it may just expidite his life. Am I thinking right about chemo?

As for Tarceva, Dad's insurance does not cover the cost. Is this medicine for people with his current condition?

I feel the Onco is really not telling us what is the best thing to do. Just says the decision is ours to make.

If Dad does not take any treatment and Hospice is the answer I feel like we are giving up..

But at the same time I do not want him to suffer. I wish him to be pain free.

Do we try Tarceva...Chemo...or no treatment at all. 

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

~Marjorie

Dear Marjorie:

My heart goes out to you.  Your family is getting a double whammy and we just can't understand why.  I lost my husband to lung cancer almost 20 years ago when he was only 57.  I ran the gamut of all the feelings you and every family member feel.  My husband opted not to go through any chemotherapy, but did have radiation.  In my opinion, it was the worse thing we could have done, because the cancer was way past the point of survival and all the radiation did was cause numerous episodes of lung collapse and he spent most of his last 6 months in the hospital having chest tubes inserted and then waiting for the lung to reinflate.

In 2006, I was diagnosed with lung cancer (stage 1) and it was caught only because I had volunteered for a lung screening trial at UCLA in 2003 and the CT scan revealed a tiny spot on my lower right lobe.  My internist watched it for 3 years and then it began to grow.  The biopsy confirmed NSC cancer.  I had a radio frequency ablation treatment (RFA) and it killed the cancer.  I am now dealing with the fact that I was lucky enough to survive this, and my husband and several friends were not so lucky.

The only thing I can suggest is to change doctors if you are not given explicite information.  It is much easier to cope when you understand what you are up against.  Too many doctors don't know what to say, or they assume you wouldn't understand.  Ask questions (over and over if needed) and get all the information you can.  Even if you can't save your parents, you will always know you did all you could for them.  God bless you all in your struggle.

Shirley

 

I would find a study that is in a stage where it is almost ready to be approved and try to get your dad in it. The teaching hospitals and the national institute of health are a good place to start. I don't know where you live.  Your dad has to really want to fight it. It is hard but you will find the strength somewhere. I sware it is just as hard for us caregivers. Good luck and god bless.

~ So sorry about your dad. My mom was diagnosed with the same cancer september 2005. She was only given weeks to live ~ up to nine months if she did chemo. We had to leave the decision up to her.  She tried one round of chemo and all seemed fine for about a week. Then it was a nightmare. The chemo made her so very ill. That was all she could handle so she quit. She lost all her hair and a good week of her life being horribly ill. She passed away december 23 2005 ~ but we had three wonderful months of memories with her. She was eating well and doing good up  until her final week. She passed away at home with loved ones by her side just like she wanted. It was so very hard to let her go. I'm glad we had hospice to help but my sisters and i did most of the care. May god be with you and your family during this time. And make the most of every second you have with your dad. Let him make the decisions so you don't feel like "you" made the wrong one                                   ~god bless you~