Stage Iv Diagnosis

My father was diagnosed with stage IV EC over the weekend.  He has a tumor in his brain, mets to his lungs, spleen, and lymph nodes.  Fortunately the tumor in his brain is not currently causing any problems. 

The doctors started the first of 15 radiation treatments today.  He is receiving radiation on both his head and esophagus.  The doctors feel that at this point chemo may not be worth the try.  My father is 65 and already quite weak.  He has suffered several heart attacks and has not taken care of himself, smoking and drinking.  They said 6-12 months which seems to be a pretty standard prognosis.

We brough him home to our house last night.  It is very surreal because he just appears to be a weak, ill, older man.  The cancer doesn't seem to have taken control as of yet, but I know from a friend who only made it 4 months with stage IV metastatic skin cancer that things can progress very rapibly.

We just don't know what to prepare ourselves for and whether or not our home is the best place for him.

Looking forward to talking to others going through this.

Ken

Hi Ken:  My son, Robbie, was diagnosed with Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the GI Junction (EC).  He was told 3 months but lived for 18 months and 2 weeks.  He passed away at home at age 35.  We would do it again in a flash.  Robbie was up and around just a few days before he died.  Even the day he passed away he was up in the morning and talked to his 2 little girls and his wife.  The mets with Robbie were in the liver.  He began to swell on his right side around mid September 2007.  He was still eating but not as much.  The radiation therapy he had destroyed the primary tumour in his esophagus.  The problem was the liver.  Robbie only took Tylenol #4 up until September 25, 2007 when our doctor put him on a Fentanyl patch with dilaudid meds for breakthrough pain.  Robbie never used the dilaudid.  He seemed to get sleepier and sleepier as each day passed.  He could not swallow even his own saliva the night before he died.  He was dry heaving.  He passed away very very peacefully in his sleep on October 7, 2007 at home in his own bed just like he wanted to.  His wife and I tended to him and we would do so again - he was home and comfortable and was not in hospital all connected to drugs and equipment. 

I guess what I am trying to say is ask your Dad what he wants.  If he wants to be at home then if at all possible grant that wish.  My 2 young dranddaughters knew their Daddy was sick but they never realized that he was so close to death and he was able to be with them and us right up until he fell asleep in Jesus' arms.

Best wishes and prayers are with you.

Lynn