Last Stage

We were just informed that my sister-in-law is in the final stage of cancer that had begun as colon cancer and is now throughout her body... now is in the end stage with liver failure.

Hospice is working with her and she does not want to discuss anything with the family.

What should we expect? She lives alone and refuses assistance. What symptoms will she have and will she be in extreme pain?

She said that she will not live long now/ Is that true? We had no idea that she was this far along as she was doing fairly well last week still able to cook, etc...and yesterday she was weak as a kitten.

I just wanted to say my mom passed away July 14th due to liver failure. After she enjoyed a vacation seeing her sons which she hasn't seen in many years, she became ill with flu-like symptoms. She went into the hospital with jaundice and I knew the reason without a diagnosis. Her liver went bad. At the time I would see her, she would appear "cold", "confused", then with the help of medicene, was alert and watching her favorite soaps and reading the daily newspaper. Toward the end, she went into respitory failure. Although she appeared to be breathing "harder" it didn't last long.(24 hrs) I told my mother for 4 days how much I loved her. At the end,she asked the nurse to hold her hand. She knew the time has come to meet those that left before her. I must say, she went peacefully,as I thought I would be seeing her the next day. Those 4 days I saw her, it looked like the whole system was systematically shutting down, and the doctors did their best to keep her going. They kept asking her if her abdomen hurt...It never did. She didn't eat anything eithier while she was in the hospital. My mom was never in extreme pain, but it hit quickly. Take care, and remain strong for her.

I am not an expert by any means, but my mother was just put on Hospice care and I have been by her side throughout. The best advice I can give you is to see if she will share the hospice care information with you. Hospice was created as a network or caring providers to help the patient and family through the "last stages" of life. During hospice they stop treating the disease and concentrate on controlling the side effects and keeping her as comfortable as possible. The provide all her medical supplies, home health, medication (for pain and others) etc for free. They are an excellent organization with a round the clock staff and a 1-800 number that can be called at any time. They consist of social workers, nurses, doctors, home health aides and chaplins that meet weekly to discuss their patients. Hospice is a large organization and uses many different smaller "hospice care facilities" depending on the area that she lives in. Maybe you can find out the hospice program that is treating her and call them to discuss, not only what to expect, but also for the benifit of your own emotional health. Visit your sister often as a family support system is extremely important at this time- she may be feeling very alone and possibly scared. Feel free to ask me any other questions that you may have, and I will try my best to answer them.