Help! I feel like I am drowning.

I am scared to death at this time.  I just got news from ny Gyno that I have Pre Cancer dysplasia.  26 years ago I had never seen a Dr , only nurse practisioners for over 3 years with a pap test coming back a number 3 because of the insurance company (KAISER) I had you only got to see a Dr if you were pregnant.  I was alson never told that it was a 3 or what that meant, just that it was abnormal. I finally saw a Dr by accident in Nov 1984 after having cryo surgery (freezing of the uterus) and he said they did more damage.  I told him that I was changing insurance companies the first of the year in 1985.  He told me he would be with that company and to make an appointment in January.  Well I did and by the 24th of January 1985 I had a cone biopsy and it confirmed that I had cancer of the cervix and it was contained so he did a partial vaginal hysterectomy leaving my ovaries.  I knew then that it was not an accident seeing him but a blessing and i consider him my angel.  I went to all my appointments every 3 months for tests for 2 years then every 6 months for a while and all was ok then once a year.  I had not seen him in 20 years or so and made an appointment with him when I discovered he was on my insurance for compound hormone therapy and a pap 2 weeks ago.  I had to wait 2 weeks for the results and they were devistating to me about the vaginal pre cancer dysplasia.  Well I am thinking the worst and just found out yesterday on Friday the results and have an appointment for a biopsy on Tuesday.  I am so nervous and depressed and would welcome any positive information.  I have been cancer free for 23 years and now this.  I did not know to a few years ago that my EX had transmitted the HPV to me where he had been unfaithful and ran around all the time on me and I didn't know till after we divorced and I went through the cancer ordeal.  Help I feel so hopeless and unwanted being single I am afraid to discuss this with anyone. I do not want to be rejected on top of this.  Help I feel like I am drowning.  All I can think about is them taking my Vagina next and I would not feel human and never be able to be in a relatonship.

Marion

Hi Marion,

I'm sorry it has taken so long for anyone to reply to your message.  I do not normally look at this particular portion of the cancer board, but was searching for something else and saw your message, so thought you could possibly still benefit from a reply. 

I am sure that by now you have more definite results than you did in August, and may have even started some kind of treatment.  Is there anything that you still have questions about or that I might be of assistance to you, even at this late date?

Sincerely,

Tre